我很累. *大声的喊. 真的很累. 刚不久前, 幸好度过一个"crazy week". i mean. i literally took time off to really settle my mind off. i'm glad i had that span of 7 months to carefully think about. i mean a long time like that obviously would be thinking of matters of what you wanna do and also most of the time, affairs of this oh-so-complicated heart.

when you said it, arhaar. i was suprised but since it came out, and the night messages. you know something's in it. and i can't lie to myself that i've never had some likings for you arhahar. i do arhhar! but puhar. its just the way its meant to be where i'll have to still move on. its hard but since i've tried. i'm doing it. arhahar. everytime whereby it says lets see each other soon for a movie or something, arhahar. i get apprehensive. but gotta tell myself, to go and arhahar. its fine. its okay. lol. brainwash. but yes, know your stands ahah. seriously thinking bout the last time whereby i was walking home, while i was crossing the road and then walking that long staight path home beside the road, the tears just trickled down my cheeks. arhhar. its like i couldn't keep it and when the realisation hits. its like *WHAM. but anyways, that was the last time out. i hope the next time out, it'll be all smiles and a sense of peace upon my heart. lol. that's a full stop to another chapter.

school's been picking up speed. and i took a sunday off from church reflecting alittle bit on myself. the happenings arhahar. and picking myself up. i guess i'll just have to walk closer, after listening to the sermon that was in the discs passed to me by Aunty Carol which was really sweet of her. yar. inspirational to get to start doing things. and walking closer. now who would go to the corner of the house at 10pm every night at the same spot, praying and worshipping God and speaking in tongues so loud that the neighbours next door could hear it cause this very pastor was living in an apartment.

That pastor found it weird, cause he tried searching for another spot in his house to pray, it couldn't reach that kind of moment he had at that very particular wall. so he went back again, and he was worshipping all over again. harhar. he did that for like 2-3 months, the same thing and the same time and the same place every night. till i think he thought the police might have to come in. then one day, there was a knock on his door. course he opens it, and it was his neighbours. out of the blue, the parents from next door asked him over for lunch. for no apparent reason.

so he went over. they sat down but it was rather solemn. so this pastor said "when all's so dead, the only topic to talk about is.. God" arhhar. so he started talking about God and while sharing, the parents said "that's the reason why we called you over". it was cause the parents had a daughter who was really suicidal. so suicidal to a point whereby she felt suicide wouldn't save herself. so every night at 10pm she'll sit by the wall, and just listen to her dear Pastor neighbour across speaking tongues, and worshipping and praising, she couldn't understand a word of it but she somehow felt comforted in a way. it gave her strength to look forward to every 10pms every night to live each new day. God when i heard that i was like whoa. NO WAY, but YES WAY. sermon shared a couple more stories but it was hell of inspirational. bout going out there and testify. life changing whoo hoo.

anyway, back to what i was saying. i'm blessed in a way, having thursday off cause its an online module, [no. i'm not saying its chicken noodle] but gives a little more time to take a breather. and God, ELTON CHONG is driving me frigging nuts. He OBJECTS and gives his 100000 billions reasons why your business idea wouldn't work while he wants a business idea which has the lowest risk, lowest capital but the highest returns. how bout being a full time black market LOAN SHARK? i come by your place and whack the hell out of you and tell you its the lowest capital, but you come to me and expect me to turn your $10 to some billion dollars. it was so damn unfortunate to have him. every semester i have to get someone who's mean. crap. and every group he opposes their ideas. every class he's taking. so how are we ever gonna be on schedule and finishes whatever we are supposed to finish dude. HELLO? crap crap crap. *CRIES. arhahar. 救我!!! dunnoe. but its infruriating. totally. crap and i'm so gonna make that vending machine idea work. work work!!

brain's in no state to think of doing that BI thingy. tomorrow yes, when i'm all fresh and prepared to do up that reflection and postingsss. eew. so many. things all lining up. TBS presentation done but still got more coming up. i'm draining up, either cause i'm not drinking enough water or i've been talking too much likie a TNP. or a MP5. so yeah. *reloads* kicks the old rounds away. my bed's talking to me and lassie's forever happy and jumping around when she sees me. man, i'm so envious of her. eat-slp-play. get a life! she has me and i have her? arhhaar. kidding. we're mid-week man, thank God ahrhar. can't wait for saturday to see the girls again wor. and to MP04, i think we did ok lar. continue jia you-ing. arhhaar and to all the groups, ajar ajar fighting! we're like fighting this damn war with time all over again. *cries. arhhar. =) grace+strength+mercy be with you. and the coming days ^^