Thankful fer todae wif my dae out wif jojo. agnes and lisa. Hahar. Yeap, fer they gave me a pre-b'dae dinner treat. harhar. Very sweet of them and whoa. I'm thankful fer dat. Reallie touched.

But above all these. tok bout matters of da heart. I've just met him a while ago. Things were going on well but suddenly. I took a step back just as I was taking 2 steps forward. put things on hold. doubting myself once more. harhar.

Its a cycle. everytime things reaches a certain point. i'll start heading back to a starting point. harhar. It happens time and again. not suprising dat it turns out like dat once more. Those. "I dun deserve all these" pops up in my head.

I guess its on my part, my fault fer leading ppl on. not to sae dat i dun like him at all. Harhar. We clicked cause we had soOo manie similarities. harhar. Was like a "woW" thing. days past when suddenly todae. I thought bout things. I wonder whether i'm treating as an "lil boi". A younger brother or something. harhar. *shrugs* da doubts sets in. and made up my mind to put things on a hold.

All in all. I'm reallie sorrie fer making things in such a mess. argh. I ain't got a clue as to why things kind of turn out da way they do. i guess i haven't changed as compared to 2-3 years back. I'm still holding on to some things i can't give it up. arhahar. I realised he stands behind time fer my family and frenz. and time fer myself. dat he isn't in much priority. or should i sae. behind God oso. harhar. I dunnoe. I'm just started to lose faith in myself lar.

Den scenes of da past came into my mind. it was exactly the way it was. doubting bout myself and all. all soOo familiar. har. i still had dat faith of things not working out well somehow. argh. i dunnoe. feeling kind of messy rite now. Just gonna rest and see how things go.

Okie, harhar.. HmMm, just got the results online. And eeEEwW. Its a far cry from my last semester's performance.. whooops. harhar, i can settle fer most of da grades except fer my accounts and erm. Econs. har, i think i am reallie not good wif numbers lar.. Can onli work everything and anything on my memory.. harhar.. anything memorisable, harhar.. Well, just pretty much. disappointed in a way at those 2 grades.. the rest were pretty much expected. *sigh* never mind, just glad i cleared it all.. harhar, kind of confirms the feeling of being reallie not dat good wif numbers~! aiyo. lousy feeling. and the cycle carries on. -____-'

Also dunnoe wassup wif me or is it me? harhar, yeah, could be it.. probably should have put in more effort or something. Well, good lesson learnt harhar, u better work harder lar.. harhar.. yeah.. Just try harder =p nothing else to do, cause yucks. ur scores have been fixed. harhar. *sigh* screw things up somehow i feel lar.

Oh well, get over this lousy feeling. harhar, gonna slp and do somethings i soOo love dat have missed doing. Cause it doesn't feel the same doing it. Which is looking at my 2 favourites, and feel totally happie.. those feelings have kind of subsided after spending my yesterdae purely sleeping after spending my lunch wif 2 lovely ppl.. Jojo and Agnes lor.. Feels pretty okie after having a chat wif them.. den went home to slp.. tired and larthegic.. SoOo todae, hahar.. Feeling down again lar.. bleah..

But after some reflection. I think its a good lesson learnt fer me. Teaches me to be humble. All over again, time and again, this lesson will come and it keeps me reminded. "joyce. stay humble." it'll spring out, once in a while and I guess, I learn and be thankful fer I've been blessed by God, who's on the constant lookout fer me. And to keep track of my attitude. Times I think it is going down the drain. harhar, but fear not. I've got a great Father. Ah Pa to readily discipline when it nids to be. Fer me~! rite time, tells u that there's always room fer improvement. heart of learning. willingness and a good old positive spirit which has been lacking at times. =) God's living alrite. time fer u to realise the wonders he works in my life. greatful of thanks. =) *muacks*

Well, I dunnoe what's up wif me.. Just been sleeping quite alot lately.. Harhar, maybe just wanna slp- and slp-.. Oh well, am on daddie's office comp.. The comp I used last time when it was the long holidays.. harhar, staying late at nite every nite like some freak.. harhar.. not before i got my larling.. harhar, my lappy.. Den different story now.. used to find the comp fast, but now, its reallie like a grandpa.. harhar, wad to do.. Cause dun have Joyce to maintain~!! Harhar, information overload lor.. this comp.. harhar.. oh well.. lalalala.. Just got the desktop worked on wireless.. realised how silly i had been.. i tried fer like 15-20 mins, that wireless thingy didn't worked.. U noe Y? harhar, simple.. Cause it was behind the speakers and the signal couldn't reach it..

PLaced dat lame wireless adapter on the cpu and den the signal worked.. after meddling wif the different combinations.. i thought that scv's router wasn't compatible wif the adapter.. -________-.. lame. bleah. anyways, after much hurrying from mummy to get that wireless thingy done.. harhar..

Anyways, I'm just keeping my prayers real tight.. close. and hard. God bless. *sigh* drives me nuts at the thought of it sometimes.. but if wad's made up, i'll leave it all in God's hands.. Freaking. Makes me feel like some trials once more. its been quite some time since i had some trials. i dunnoe. only He noes and has the answers.. "through tears and joy, I'll trust in you". this is pretty trying.. Well, pray like mad.. harhar.. =)

OH well, soOo much soOo. am trying to get my butt a job and hopefully land myself but apparently, it doesn't seem like there's any opportunites available cause dunnoe arh. like market quite bad or something. no one's recruiting. harhar, poor kid like me gotta go dig some money somewhere. wharhar.. Reminds me of some RPG [role=playing=game] walking around, fighting monsters.. getting some money and den heading to the shops and buy equipment to fight bigger monsters and arm urself wif better defence.. harhar.. soOo cute.. Oh well, i'm mad. i wanna get a new hard disk drive.. My lappy is lagging.. SoOo manie barang.. 40GB more den enough.. harharar, store and store~!!!! Pictures pictures of Dong Gun and Min JOng oppa.. More videos~!!! More music.. wharhar.. I'm mad.