ahah. was taking self shots of myself this morning. for the picture, and. i'm gonna learn the ropes to the property market. God knows how's things gonna go. but i suppose its no harm learning more. since it is sales and marketing. now i'm starting to wonder if this is soo crazy. ahah. hope i'm gonna have fun lah. i'm so gonna paste my big fat face up here. i like this shot ahaha.

and yah i think i finally got a picture of myself for the church directory ^. i like the angle. whahahahaa. and school's starting to set in, and busy busy ness is so gonna find me soon. can't wait to get this over. and hello, business finance is sooo. not easy. but least the lecturer is trying to make it manageable. *gasps.

and i failed by first driving test. ahaha. NOOB. for being a noob to actually crank up the curb front wheel. man i'm quite sore that i should have just reversed. so now its waiting again for another test date. grr. but thank God for the failure, given me faith that I can do it =) i couldn't convince myself to do it (after receiving tons of thrashing from my teacher), so much less convince the instructor that i can be ok on my own. just gonna try harder next time round. but i think it was a decent attempt! =) hee hee, and i'm proud of that.

july is a month of birthdays (there's glenda, alvin, ling li, raqqie) - happy birthdays ya all =) all 21. muahaha, we're aging rapidly, so yah you're not alone. (i'm starting to feel olddd)

i'm thinking what am i gonna do on this saturday. there's lessons at 2-5pm. then there's rusty russell in the morning. 9-12am. thing's that i'm thinking bout cg. and its the last cg. go on friday, then my steamboat dinner with the whole bunch jialat. i wanna be at both T-T huu huu. school's coming soon AGAIN. grr.

hellos bloggie. shifting to this new site, and layout ahaah, i realised nowadays i blog much less. ahaha i just keep it in my brains and live another day. or maybe i just got lazier by the days and my blog entries are actually getting shorter (or maybe it depends). and i start to wonder what on earth do i do nowadays. i'm a much quieter person! or rather its spent on the tele, books (read, papers lah, books lah, mags lah), spending time with my music (listening and on the guitar), sleep.

i actually stopped surfing much on my minjong and dong gun oppa somehow. things just stop on the forums and ppl on mjnet does wonder where on earth am i. i wonder wad on earth am i doing. i just don't surf that much anymore actually. so funny, then what do i do ah? ahaha. chit chatting online too. i think i'm just aging rapidly it is. i used to do more, like do everything that i stated above and add on to the forums reading and catching up. i guess i'm sleeping earlier nowadays... oh ohs.

anyways, this week has been rough. when relationships face the test of time, it is the ultimate test of each other's character. and no like i asked mom "guess who's making me worried and bothered this week?". she went "the one standing in front of you lah. (which was darius apparently)." he went " *hands raised up* no no no aunty, that was 2 weeks ago" ahaha it's really funny. i went "he's right, its not him. its the other 2."

like what hwee boon said to me today, it was like a revelations of my situation with jinyi. till today sui yi talked to me, like how our relationship between the both of us shouldn't be affected cause of 1 guy. i was silent ahaha "uh." response, listening.

1. i think both our relationship was already different from the moment you went into full time work. we were different. you wouldn't share your deepest anymore. ok that's fine with me =)

2. and the most important and basic basis of all fundamentals: it isn't bout the one guy, but its about your attitude that i see it in you doing it to me, and it seems to be reflected to him. the way you treat me, just feels you don't trust me anymore. or maybe we shared different ideals already, i will never seem to understand you today as of NOW. you're all grown up, and i'm still a full time student. by all means. i don't argue when i don't see a point in it.

3. now that we go your way, work to your ways. you share as and when you feel like, giggle and laugh as and when you like, i don't ever mind. do whatever you're happy now, i won't budge or give you advices to seem like i'm nitty gritty-ing bout everything. i respect you now, and you do what makes you happy, as long as you're happy.

4. things seems to be a big problem now. but lets face reality, it was already a problem i saw long long time ago. it wasn't a problem for you last time, now that it has become. i tried to do what i can still, but then again, if only i recognise a problem, isn't that making me a bitch of being a problem maker? ahaha. things can go for a change now maybe, now that you see there's a problem.

5. i'll clarify for the last time again. whatever i've done this week was purely on the basis cause i cared. and that i had no and zero agenda on trying to tear anyone up, cause confusion or anything. a listening ear to anyone in need even if it means going out of the way, applies to practically everyone. check my records, it really is for most ppl who knows me.

6. i'm glad both of you are out of the rut and things are going a-okay. keep that going, cause this way, both of you really are happy this way. when both of you are not okay, you both really are not happy at all.

through all this time, i'm thankful i've a great guy sitting beside me, (after the $2.80 incident) ahaha, it's amazing how the week after, we spent time talking and just realising and acknowledging one point. there's really no one that understands each other, than the both of us. that the days of late has been amazing in a sense, the kind of level of trust and belief in each other went up a notch. its amazing and i'm glad and happy and just really enjoying the passage of time and life with each other. funny how things got this far, like soul mates feeling. like best friends but like the bestest of friends ahahah!

he's been amazing today too. he led worship today, "i was really trying not to laugh". ahahah, like the long pauses we had, and how the rest of the young adults just took it in the stride, have some laughs, he tried teaching a new song today. ahahaha. not bad lah, and i was his back up guitarist. he takes 80% credits lah. 20% mine, to the little guiding lessons on sat night wor and the day itself, ahaha. i was trying very very hard to like "joyce, darius is leading' ahaha. i think i'm too jia lat, i lead too much by feel liao. he goes by "ok this way, this way" ahaha. i do remember there was 1 part we contradicted, but in the end somehow things just went his way for once and mine at the end or sort of. for being lost in a new song and finding the way round it. glad it was still nonetheless good. bringing the point across, that he wanted something "NEW" and "Fresh".

jacob went "dont scold him ah" i was like "no lah how to scold, he boss today." ahahah. but more than that i realised why (being the usual typical perfectionist me too) was fine today. i've seen his efforts and his struggles up to the day today. i'm very very proud of him =) cause for my case, it took years, he took months. and it was lovely spending time listening to christian songs sitting together, as i shared the songs i listen to when i'm bent on my knees praying for him (and of course when life gets hard) before he became a christian. how i used to break, and keep questioning my desires. it was just great, being able to have a partner to share God together, talk God. Love God and serve God together. is my greatest joy and the prayers of my life. course thank yous God but also to the darling. he's been a darling =)

and apart from the darling, there's jacob and glenda, JJ today, for being such encouragements. it was like a total booster of joy. so worn thrown insults. i'm glad i was given grace to take it with a smile, not cry, not break and still have manners switched on. to take insults at my face with grace, move on. cry not. is me. Shaun antics adds smiles to your face. Pastor Keith, for remembering our little sharing on missions. i tell you, this God is amazing.

taking photos for the directory teaches me to quit wallowing in my little worries. ahaha and do it and encourage ppl to smile! its fun, taking photos especially for the elderly. how appreciative they are, just touches me.

be running circuit tomorrow again, and my teacher's attitude is a test of my character as much as it is of his. lets try this again. oh god give me style and give me grace. - Coldplay: god put a smile on your face. he needs it man. ahaha.

and thank yous winnie, you're really really amazing. what will i do without you? God bless you, lovely.

and i tell you my current favourite pastime, is to sit in the hall. with the speakers at me, listening to my pod. man it is life and watching house on 42" hdtv. such life of pleasures to me, (its funnier when there's the darling beside me? he's all tense and like "ssshhh!!" and i try to blab with 100000 commments to distract him hahahah) sharing same loves, ahahaha. and how he provides me with my pleasures, of house. GOD. i'm blesssed really.

too beat to say anything, or write anything out. as for today, i'm totally zombed. partially because of the things i had to do today, photo taking can get physically draining. then the early mornings talk, totally trying to explain $2.80 to darius took literally the living daylights out of me (plays muse - time is running out) "you will be the death of me..." really really tiring, and it doesn't help in itself when i'm actually focusing my thoughts onto other matters.

explain, and today morning, trying to get into the problem definition phase. i was really wondering what was going on, why he was behaving the way he did (if that is called understanding). theory is, its easy to just get discouraged and sit back and moan and say and feel and think as though you're the only one on earth feeling the way you do. as much as i try to talk him out into "don't give up", "put in your best", "try again", "its ok". only could do so much, i'm limited in my means for i myself am trying to figure out and think on certain matters.

i came to a conclusion that in alot of times, as for myself as a learning lesson, sometimes and alot of times, things ain't going to what we perceive it to be, doesn't equate that things are not working. if only we learn to open up and see more options, maybe we'll get to understand things more, see things better, deal with them more effectively.

somehow i had this sense of just letting everything go, ahaha. stop pursuing, stop trying to get him out of his little rut hole all over again. let him do what he wants if he's comfortable in being in the rut then so be it. i'm like really zombed coping with my own things, ahaha. for the tough couple of weeks ago, at home with mom. now that things are better-ing up, like a source of her release of anger, she feels better. i'm patching myself up in a sense of rethinking everything i'm believing in on, working on, and putting it out onto actions. the entire process of things, what have been done right and what not.

seek comfort that i tried my best, and even if i fell flat on my face and failed, i know i always tried my best. =) like what my darling winnie said, feeling so drained and tired today, of the sum of the physical and emotional toil going through. I'm fine =) just totally in need of sleep NOW ahaha. rest rest rest.

with everyone saying i went down again, i'm like oh no. did i? ahha, i've been eating! hard to explain no matter how much i say, i believe ppl are thinking i'm suffering some eating disorders. ahaha NO!. i love food, but its just i haven't got that love as much as i used to, and i'm totally fussy over food these days. (want bread - find the right sandwich) - and i wonder ahaha how much of nutrients im eating and getting into my system!

anyways, today's been an amazing encounter with God. with what JJ said, worship during YA, and the slow walk to my cousin's place where it rained, and turned to a drizzle. amazing. spending time being quiet, taking the pictures and looking at the youths getting around their retreat program was definitely therapeutic, that it makes me focus on the things i can do than to the things i can't do a thing about =) fun and makes me feel soo old, hanging out with carol lim siang joo. she's insanity defined all packed into one. have to sleep, my eyes are gone. =.= to equal signs.

alright, finally with the new posting and a new look. after trying it out on the yaggers blog, i thought i should do it on my own blog. its sexy, feels wordpress, pretty much the same. After debating for some time, i'm just staying onto blogspot for old time's sake. its 4 in the morning and yes, gotten to everything i want, the looks, the feel. pretty much, only thing that is lost is the pictures on the side, but for a change to all those faces of my favourite stars, ahaha, its new widgets on the side.

yes i've been away for a godly long time, too many things happening, can't have time to narrate each and everyone thing that has happened. but on the overalls, june first two weeks, has been caught up at church camp at malacca, then to hong kong. i will by all means claim malacca was a more fruitful trip, spiritual wise, getting to know more people well and God was there, and most of all, experiencing the presence of God. Worship was one of the best of my life, being able to play for God is 1, and secondly, the entire atmosphere, no kidding.

Hong Kong was a mere scenic trip, apart from the peak and madam tusseud which i enjoyed, the hotel room, tv, making my daily observations, food. that was pretty much it, yes shopping shopping shopping but mainly, was high end stuff. as they say, too much of a good thing becomes boring. the only brand i love. starts with the a. agnes b, that's bout it. ahaha, i bothered. too upmarket, no clothes to match, no look. pass baby.

end may would be busy with the preparations with the church camp booklet. after coming back from hong kong, was driving, meeting up with friends and the usual. its quick my holidays are coming to an end, and to a real different beat, i didn't work this time round, part time wise. which is unbelievable.

gotten myself a new baby. =) my new cort guitar. its been around for weeks but i just feel too many things to blog, don't know where to start, can't be bothered. and the stacks of things to blog is in my head, but no efforts in writing them out. pictures, alot. abundance. but no way man, uploading on blogger one by one is a real killer. facebook's got great photo uploading capabilities, one of the smartest i've seen so far =) will see, if i'm in the mood. it takes me aeons of years to upload pictures.

been up to singapore flyer, took some great shots all with mom's compact camera. gotta get it from her, prolly later today, cause its 4.15am. The boy just messaged, cute boy. woke up to just message me he fell asleep after dinner, but hey hey, i'm cool. tired just rest, ahaha, i'll still be around isn't it? =) sleep tite you.

so that's all i've got there, for this week's been busy with all things guitar. after having a hard and painful time with my baby - the guitar. (i gotta name it man, but i haven't got a clue). cause of the action of the saddle being to high, it needed adjustments. so thank God for a professional you can count on, who works from home, did my guitar, its all the way at hougang. so a day, delivering it down there. another day down to pick it up, had dinner with jayson (his treat) - being i'm totally broke this week, on splurging on this baby. so he paid, how sweet. hee hee, and me, thick skin lah.

then was another treat last night, by Agnes. Jojo omma went to Japan to meet MJ! what on earth, some hell of an experience. and mj.net ppl asking for me, yes i've been dead. honestly, not that i've lost interest, but time online to surf and read and be updated, hasn't been on the list. where i'll spend it watching more dramas, read more stuff (i'm into political stuff of late, especially all things obama and the presidential election between the republicans and the democrats) nifty stuff no doubt, and great english. then there's my guitar to attend to, and my boy to attend to, and church. sounds busy huh, but i seem to be able to fit all things in, then there'll be time for school, school work, church, and friends and what have you. forums haven't been on my head (apart if i'm gonna buy/sell barang barang).

and before i leave, i must share how sweet this friend of my brothers, (how not close i am to him, we barely talk) and how well i talk with his friend. HE IS SO AMUSING. Name's michael (seems like a common pinoy name) he's half pinoy and dutch! chit chatting with him this morning, he's saying how my ascent is amusing, speaking english but with some chinese ascent. DO I? eeeee. but yeah, a guy who hangs around with alot of girls, and loves shopping and window shopping and is a guy who looks after his skin alright. i think its the mixes, cause he says he mixes with korean and japs in australia! (keke, and reads a japanese NWV, its the new world version, yes he's a Jehovah Witness) -only realised it today morning after chatting today. ahaha, oops. i just chanced upon it. he's on a stopover and flying off to japan soon. what a life. sigh, i'm really really envious of him.

and yes i must say, go australia and make a living. part time there earns at least $15 an hour in a kitchen (which is the lowest paying jobs). WHAT ON EARTH?!!! thanks man. i earn half of that over here per hour, and say hi. to the pathetic pay we have over here. he's strange, he eats spicy. LOL. NOT AUSSIE. man i wanna go aussieland and japan tooo. but first of, korea!!!! dang. he says i can if i save up. i think not on my life, now? LOL. maybe its a thing when you grow older? whatevers. its raining! tucking in like. NOW! niteys people. (and to Jin Hui, Vanessa, Ling LI, Janna - Stop quoting "Its been an amazing week!" its no longer anymore muahaha) - and sorry i couldn't be there today, i really would have, but the guitar restringing and cleaning was really tiring. yes, its the classical, i learnt from scratch, and clean some good 3-4 years of dust on it, its my second round, cleaning it. sigh. what a day and week man.

ps. the posts are bit messy but some of you may see why. its linked to the other pages along this blog. so ignore them =) it'll be fine with a couple more posts and edits. i love this new page.

I'm not a mom, (quite obviously) but this is my favourite kid amongst all. The way she smiles and the way she goes around doing her own stuff, amuses me. The way she talks, I love spending time or just sitting in a corner watching her. Keryn Wong aka Ah Bi!

She sits on my wallpaper too, I just love this picture soo much. It really tells you what being a kid is, being a child is. The joy, the happiness. To me, she is really quite my joy and my therapy when I just need a mind to just be quiet, enjoy the fun, simple time when i spend with her.

Kids are really contented simply, the joy she shows when her daddy bought her a new pair of shoes. Aahaahaha, i was just watching her. =) Or maybe she reminds me of my small self, I should put my pic of my own self up. hmm. You dian xiang leh. ahahaha!

She came around and sat on the beanbag with me, i was praying, seeking prayer prompters i'm supposed to be praying for someone who needs some joy in their life, i was about to end my prayers and this little girl came over and landed herself a spot beside me, and smiled. Course I smiled back at her. Its amazing! No other confirmation hor. Heh, ahhh, missing her already. When she goes "come stay our house lah", or tucks my hands and holds my hands or just lying on the floor staring at the celling or pointing at each other's noses. She really is a joy.
I'm always intrigued by cats lately (Yes, partially from the people who have taught me to love them) Bak Tuti and yes, the boy. =) Its a cat that has grown heaps and bounds, I first spotted it pouncing away from me, to take cover in the drain when I was walking home. Its soo cute!

Check out how well it camouflages with the tree. AMAZING!
Don't know how many of you are amused by skies, but i'm amazed by it. The softness and swirls of it, and how big the skies, makes me feel how small i am. I loove feeling small, cause really, you really aren't that big seriously. Looking closely, looks like a stickman from above =)
this is a golden retriever, (at the peak, at hong kong again) i was desperately trying to get a shot of the doggy with me. Its trained so well, that even if you release the leash, it isn't gonna budge an inch! Taking a photo with it likewise, it would move away from the lens of my camera mobile. (for your information I do not own a compact camera) - all you lucky people who do own one, count your blessings! i've got my trusty 2.0mp camera of my SE phone ahhahar. but i do own a larger camera =X just not handy to bring it around lah.

i should put a picture of both of us. its taken a long long time ago, i was debating to put or not. (like a 10000 reasons why i should?) - I found a good one today, should be thankful i have a lovely (majority of the time), funny, pretty much caring boyfriend lah. without glasses! of our favourite pass-time of sitting together, just chit chatting away like girly girlfriends. I'll see him again for another session soon i think. =)

Fool around with your mind. I'm gonna mess with it. AGAIN. taken with my mobile. Take a guess if this is a 3D computer enhanced graphic, or a mere, natural, real shot taken of a building. Obviously took this for a reason. I'm very intrigued at how visual it looked while I sat at the open area just outside this place, known as the viewing gallery (if my mind doesn't fail me) ^^ its darn cool, as usual, always intrigued by cool architectures, and white panes and windows gets me amused. its real darlings.

This is another shot taken by my mobile, in hong kong's peak again. Its unbelievable how i feel what defines heaven+earth. seperated by a mere sky, so high it seems, but seems to be real close to us in this angle. amazing shadows. awes me.


There's gonna be a page set aside, just for my pictures. For someone told me, i'm a messy person, lumping all pictures and blog together. So alright, might as well dedicate a page to my pictures and talk bout it. =)

The view from the peak, all pictures here for now are by my mobile phone. pretty amazing =)

ling li

vanessa

janna

jin hui

vin

Deepashini

kim yee

winner

yang

peilian

lavonne

martin.lo

justin

lydia

cheyrl.tean

clarence

clement

ehndrew

jessica

lijin

rachel

peilian

sing ngee

jayson

weezhun

siewting

emily

elmo