Finally, its done and paper submission brings back alot of memories. The longest writing on my own I've ever done, ahaha welcome. (Yes, we never needed to ever write that long a report individually) so this is welcome to earth, Joyce. Can totally catch a glimpse now of what's it like writing a book now and it is really not entirely an impossible feat to do, provided I do have a topic I feel strongly about. :D

Anyways, just glad to have one report done and its down to one more and I hope this one will be a good one, reading up more on Missiology. Taking 2 modules isn't a joke ahaha and what was I thinking? Makes me wanna laugh at myself from time to time but then again, what's done is done. Sober up, sometimes I wished I had more hours to my days so I could do more stuffies, like reading and sleeping more.

A Moment to Remember with Jung Woo Sung and Son Ye Jin is a good relive of old school memories and its funny how me and Ben Chan still cried despite watching it umpteen times, was a good time taking my mind off the typicals, watching it with En Min + Guan Yu.

And can I have time to finish The Mentalist S2 and House for the remaining S6 I've yet to watch and in there, sits my many movies too. Eeks, I'm lagging, come to think of it, I can typically fit an episode of House into some portable device. Hmms.

It'll be more reading and research time this afternoon, for time off. Isn't God always good at how He plans stuff:)

Started another day today in the office, just with time spent thinking what i'm gonna be writing in the final portion of the report. Hopefully get to clear everything up by today. It has been some night yesterday, supposedly to have the prophetic painting but i guess its all too last minute, which ended up having lunch with Jason at Vivo and since he came all the way, we walked around just seeing what amuses us.

Its good somehow, cause it brought back memories of what I used to do :) Thank you:) I don't go shopping from malls to malls very often nowadays, but we just happened to head on to Vivo and Queensway to take a look at sneakers and bags, which he laughs at me how it seems i'm constantly looking at stuff to fit the boy. Yeah gaining ideas, but eh, haven't seen anything at all lah.

There'll be something I think I'll need to get serious on soon enough, but after I clear my one more written assignment, I'll give myself the allowance to really think what this is about. I know to the many things, I can only do so much but really, we'll just see how this is gonna go, and the many things only He can do and provide. So my gut feel on Thursday night was right :) Wasn't much of a surprise and really all that was expected since the answer of yes came and your willing, no one's to complain.

Cooked dinner for today, turned out not too bad, watched an episode of House and it made me feel for House again, mean on the outside, soft on the inside. He's a real sweetie pie. Its tempting to move on to more episodes but haiyo, let's just clear this and get this done. Good music please and music like Johnathan David Helser.

To know You, know Your will, and know Your heart, i hope the equation remains and not get changed with the passage of time and circumstance when there's this Plan B mentality, lets go. No more Plan B. Its do or none. It seems duper easy to device a back up plan to save yourself and go through another need of unnecessary run, to avoid and buy time, and lose the point of what He meant it to be. Tempting but pointless.

A week has passed, and since yesterday, particularly for the day of yesterday, I've decided to remain silent. Comments were passed and everytime there's a discussion of the table on why I am not eating meat, Mom will start ranting about how inconsiderate about not informing cause no one knows when I end fast or as to when I can take meat, so for the umpteen times, my sis will always say I'm on vegetarian fast. I'm sick of telling my part of the story or seek people's understanding anymore, anything you say, that it shall be final. Doesn't kill me but it's sad when all I can say, you've forgotten. It is not the first time and how she used to rejoice about the notion of fasting during the same time last year, perhaps, i'm too much of a sore that she's not on it? *chuckles*.

It's just how everyone in the house so desires to be heard, and the problem starts when everyone insists of making their point known. Happens a hell lot to the leaders of the house, both of them, fighting to make a point known, fighting to be heard. Funny thing is that there is so much air time, that when it is time for them to air their opinions, they decide to be quiet, and when you just want to have your peaceful time, everything gets dug out and how they start airing their dislikes on you when its late at night, when she finishes her clockwork of her television schedules.

It's sad, almost tragic but seeing an example of religions taking play than a life truly being transformed. She has decided not to go for missions anymore cause, cited reasons like "I don't like Egypt...", listening to the horror stories of trippers from her church sharing how many often end up having bad experiences or misfortunes happening to them when they return. It is anger when I hear cause at times you want to challenge, is our God that small? But prefers to take a quieter approach cause how often my head on, confrontational approach don't go very well.

So silence, is my preferred mode now, perhaps that's why I've grown quieter, how some people have said how I'm strangely quieter now. Ahaha. Yeah, its good to just be silent and watch, listen and pay attention more to the things going on and see things unfolding before your very eyes.

I must say what a strange day yesterday was for me, how I actually slept at 9pm. The tiredness just grew and multiplied as I got home and I remembered thinking how strange it is cause for the entire day, I was feeling fine that it totally didn't make any sense of it all. Then the dinner table incident, I decided to switch to the dining table and just have my meal and read the papers. The first question that came to my head, was really, what on earth is going on, yes on me and around the world. Oil spills in the US and China, floods around Asia, hot temperature in Japan, uber cold temperatures in South America that it is below minus and how many people are freezing out there in the streets.

By the end of the reading session, I knew I set myself to finish the portion of culture in my Buddhism paper I was to write, but honestly, all the energy I had left was sufficient to journal down my thoughts in the head and remembering how much I was questioning Him and how much I would love to know what He was thinking and then drifting off to sleep shortly. What was intended to be a nap went into a full 7 hour rest that I woke up at 4am, realising that I still had work undone but was still feeling sleepy, so I made the alarm clock to ring at 5.30am to complete the remaining 800 word count to the topic. All I knew I was feeling super duper tired and was feeling terribly sad and grieved I had no clue why.

That was all I remembered and waking up at 6am feeling much happier and back to myself and wondered what last night's entire episode was about. Managed to finish up what was good by 745am and prepapred for work all right to normal apart from a little rush. God is good and i'm still wondering what it was all about as I was connecting the dots to the pink skies scene I remembered journalling 2 entries before, about how I feel something bad's gonna happen before something's good gonna happen. I'm wondering what's the bad and good through it all, what's the intended effect. I drew that conclusion from what Alvin drew on his art, on pink clouds and a crown of thorns, it had to be the strangest color for clouds but we saw the exact same picture days later and remembering how I felt dreadful on first glance but peace later. Not long, I drew links to blood which often meant oh, CLEANSING and a sacrifice. The word cleansing just came. ahaha, cool.

Funny how I'm going, I'm gonna figure this one out even if it is gonna take me the entire day and how it just took place in seconds. Love it:) Love to sit down and jot my thoughts down.

Being at home, blogging off the mac for the first time should be a happy affair but I have to say how this entire new connection change from Starhub to Singtel is causing everyone abit of frustrations. Cause of the ridiculous router range and how big this house is, its just nearly impossible to suit the needs of everyone and honestly, it feels we're back to square one, when i went to Sim Lim to get the wireless N router to fit the modem and get the modem changed from the integrated Motorola router to the modem and router done seperately. Now, the Wireless N router is all left to become a potted plant/white elephant in the house.

Just finding an outlet to vent the frustration cause this simple change has been going on for 2 weeks and its still being dragged on and I'm tired of hearing the nonsense of it all. Everyone wants something for their own convenience, and the Mio honestly doesn't fit anyone's needs at it, cause Dad intends to get the all in one package to save some funds. Honestly, this is driving me to the telco to get a data plan so i can get a dedicated connection just to have the internet as and whenever. Its almost impossible to work on this network.

Things are so not working out and i'm just so in no mood to get my report done up. I have got new glasses done but everything just seems to be done in like some kind of motions, the emotions are all missing. I think i'm really sick of feeling anything for now in regards to this wireless and matters of this house. Every shit/change that happens becomes my responsibility that I have to know how to fix it cause I have a solution to everything. In terms of things at home, sometimes I'm sick of knowing and I don't want to know, cause once I know, or honestly, even if I don't, I still end up knowing and having to think of solutions to fix things up.

This whole week has been rather crazy in terms of the number of days worked. Made me feel like I wasn't some kind of full time worker but some student for a moment. There was block modules for Holy Spirits and Missions from Thurs - Sat, from 830am to 530pm and honestly isn't easy just concentrating for full blocks of lessons and it often leaves you real tired by the time you get home and when its past weekend.

Not sure if its sad my week is coming to an end, of my part time student experience or is it due to Vin"s departure for KL. Starting to feel it now and it reminds me when En Min was about to head off for her exchange program. There is that tad sense of sadness and it made me realise that people will have to leave at the climax when we're really on good terms and relationship with one another.

But its ok, I take comfort in the sense that he is away on some terms that its gonna be a good time for him as he chases after his dreams and live the dreams.

Can't seem to get deep into worship with Taylor just now, just feels like something is missing.