Yes, still alive! Sunday, November 15, 2009

I just realised I haven't really been blogging at all, simply cause I haven't been spending anytime online at all, the moment I head for home. Judging from my previous entry, which was way back in September, when I was still unemployed and still finding a full-time job.

Yes, I've gotten a desk bound job, with a tad of calling up job seekers, to update their information, is pretty much my interaction with people, and the weekly face to face, job placement exercises. Can't say I hate my job and I can't say I love it either. I'm not sitting on the fence, but I don't hate what I do, neither do I oh-so-totally love it.

The dubby has been asking "update please", since I'm unwinding to Harry Connick Jr, which has that totally old school feel to the old classics, sitting in my room, in front of the laptop, I thought it'll be good to update eh?

Life has been more of my after six, after the time I knock off from work, meeting friends up for dinners/catch a movie/sit together and just chit chat/spending time with your family or love ones. I suddenly feel so much older now, like just in the couple of months and I start to understand why some people are the way they are now or behave the way they do.

I figured that what we're doing in life is spending our hours in life, in exchange for something. It could be monetary, could be for self fulfilling purposes (you could probably do Marslow Hierarchy of Needs), and just this week especially, has been questions on "How/What is the best way to best spend your time/ make an impact/ difference in this world".

I happened to just head on to Keith's blog and was reading an entry of his, and somehow, for that moment, felt "whoa, that's nice". Somehow it seems that teaching is always that choice for making an impact in people's life. I had that idea some months back, but sadly, didn't manage to be successful in my applications.

Evelyn was telling me about some famous company (can't remember the name) was having this recruitment exercise on some retail sales/marketing job, which looked decent, but I don't know. I haven't heard anything yet about changing over to any sides yet. The grass seemingly still looks green on my side, or rather, I haven't found anything yet that is greener on the other side. I still figure from time to time really, what has been prophesied over me and just wondering if they're ever gonna see the light of the day of being fulfilled? :)

Typing on this laptop is such a unfamiliar feeling, since I've been spending so much more time on my office NEC's desktop than my laptop at home. I guess its either time reading/watching house/guitar/sleep, when its down to my time alone. Still happy this laptop is working fine, I hope it doesn't die anytime soon, or its gonna be quite some headache. ahaha!

Anyways, I guess I don't really blog that often cause there seems to be quite alot of thoughts on my head nowadays, that I don't know where to start! That Facebook one liners, seems to be a much easier alternative. Blogging may have somehow lost its novelty with me probably.

In all randomness, today has been spent really quickly, just doing worship for the two services and heading out with Joanne in the afternoon. It was good to just let your hair back and just laugh and share and chit chat, with the younger ones. They're so full of energy, I miss those days, I seem to be in a far cry from where I was! Or perhaps maybe younger and more carefree. =D More time to do what you want, when you want, or perhaps I just really miss those blocks of personal time that I had for myself in the past couple of months.

Funny how when I was in it, I wanted a job so badly. Now that I've gotten one, I just want those slack days back again. I know, eventually I'll have to move on, but at times, perhaps I just want to be a kid all over, and do whatever you want, however you want, whenever you want it. To not put in much effort and watch the world go by, the people, their activities and their movements and not be confined about the boundless possibilities of thoughts that go on your mind, without worrying "oh I need to sleep now, I need to wake now, I need to head to work now". Life's more regimented now.

I guess I'm just missing those carefree days, of spending nearly 2.5 hours on a bus, down the ECP, just watch the skies go by, where the world just passes you by. It makes me feel alive and excited. Not needing to worry about anything, what's the big deal about losing sleep at night? Those plentiful of late nights, countless MSN chats, movie/drama watching. LOL. Its just now, everything needs a little bit more of consideration, since 9.5 hours is nearly spent at work, the next 7 hours sleeping, 1.5 hours on travel, it just leaves you out with that 6 hours to do what you want. What and how do you want to spend it on?

I'll just always remember Gan-paps's, "the best investment is spending it on people's lives", who lives to collect testimonies nowadays. ahaha! =) I hope I'm doing it right with whatever little I have that at times, I wished I could do more, I had more hours. But its just the way it is, nothing more and nothing less. Take it or leave it? I'll just, take it I guess =) and be happy with what I have now, I'm still trusting :D

Surprise, surprise! Thursday, September 03, 2009

So what have I been busy with? I really wonder what have I been busy with, whenever I am been asked this question. Lately again, I will think its still rest, or either yakking away with my dear Sister, nephew and my mom. We're hanging out of late, it is nice, and it is more fun with the entire topic runs around the big topic of the big G. I simply love it. Like what Miss Yeong says, "what better things are there to talk about?". Yes, it is very heartwarming.

So this boy below, is the one hogging onto my ipod lately, after teaching him how to maneuver around the controls of my ipod. What does he tune into? What else, the all time favourite, Blessed Be Your Name, God of Wonders, Consuming Fire, Heart of Worship. You should hear him sing, you'll probably be laughing and kicking yourself hard, cause it is cute on one sense, but another sense, the songs that he sings, becomes transformed into a totally different song if you do not listen hard enough to what he is saying.

So when night came, there was a revelation on his beloved new toy, called DOU DOU. (well, least I call it Dou Dou), there's too many toys at home, they need a NAME, an IDENTITY. So pretty much, everyone calls it dou dou now (maybe cause no one bothers giving it a name), but its way too cute to not earn itself a name. (I'm still thinking if its a ah boy or ah girl). ahahah! Its mouth gave way, meaning the thread came off entirely from Dou Dou's mouth, and it got him so upset, he started crying. I don't know if that was to qualify for the title of weeping, but yeah. It was SO CUTEEE, I hoaxed him out of it that I'll sew Dou Dou's mouth, and spent Tuesday just sewing the mouth back.

Oh and made him understand the entire notion of "cosmetic surgery" ahhaa. It is just simply hilarious. So Dou Dou's back in action with a restored smile :) aww. Yes I was so serious on it that my sis went "you're soo serious", yeah i am when i'm working on it. MUAHAHA. It looks so cute now =D

Alrightys, that's for the toys, the week has been spent taking pictures, running errands, making digital prints and spending time with my love ones. =D Went on down to TP to get the employment agreement signed, so work will be starting on the 14th. So yeah to all new surprises, that I've learnt what sewing requires you thinking what your next move is, to plant that needle into, and that I can sew! LOL. And getting the job, has been all surprising. I wonder what's more is installed for me. =D

Another New Skin! Thursday, September 03, 2009

Times have certainly changed! Back in a couple of months back, it was just so hard to find lovely blogger 2.0 templates that you can play with. But hold and behold, I was BORED, and hence, I started editing my blog skin all over :)

Loving the entire look of it now, after the House template just seemed to have something missing, which until today, I haven't quite figured what it is. I haven't been blogging much of late (and I wonder why?) but i believe it could be due to:

1. Getting bored of how the blog looked aesthetically

2. There really wasn't anything entertaining, or least, I haven't had the discipline to leave it all down, with pictures and thoughts exposed

3. I preferred the pen and paper method over the new age, keyboard

But whatever the case, now that the blog looks so much smarter and neater, it does have its enticing points. I placed up the wallpapers I've done, (I have no idea why I did it), but while doing this entire revamping and I was going through some old posts, there was 1 comment on how encouraged that person was with the wallpaper, so I might as well just put them all into one page, and bless whoever thinks and likes it.

Haven't been doing anything much of late, no picture talk either. (which is bad, it means I'm not taking pictures), hopefully it'll pick up again. My current HTC phone doesn't really make you wanna take pictures or snapshots of my life at random. Its just alittle grainy. Sighs.

And on the latest updates on my life? These past 2 weeks have certainly been not the easiest, it could have been the roughest of late, and I'm sure glad to be out of it alive and sane. The boy did really test and push alot of my buttons, but its good now that things are moving along with an added kind of push and a hope and a BETTER outlook on his future. Least he has school to look forwards to, which is sure to be fun.

Winnie said I seem to be around depressed people lately, ahaha. Probably and maybe, and I just realised that there is this one person who is able to raise the bar up higher and make me think about this person, from the moment I wake to the brief moments before I sleep. She's always been on my mind, and all I can say, the night before, I felt a release, in the belief, that I do believe that "the truth will set her free". I'm holding on to this fact and truth. Still holding on.

So emotional wise, has been tiring and frustrating from time to time, but as usual, the importance of releasing them in a proper manner, I'm going through my rounds and repeats of just being quiet and just finding meaning in the things that I love doing, and the things I have to do. Am holding on and looking forwards towards this weekend been spent over at Malacca.

The only thing I'm looking forward is sitting that long bus ride, and clearing my mind and just feeling close back to the clouds and trees all over again. I need it, meanwhile, whilst the HR clears me to hopefully start work soon. So in a sense, it is waiting for all to fall into place again. It feels like I'm a piece of fried egg on a pan. Currently, I'm that egg that is left hanging in mid air, being flipped onto its other side, just waiting for it to land perfectly again.

Today has been a day of just spending bus rides together on the ipod with the boy, which is something we haven't done for a long, long time. Something so simple yet moments we can savor and look back and be thankful for. He accompanied me to get 100 shots printed out into 4Rs, which costs a mere $0.15 each, for a piece. The color turns out pretty well :) Then, to the Olympus service centre, which I must say, really has been an unpleasant experience. Which is also the reason why I do not prefer their products, and would prefer some other brands, take like Canon. The lens of a camera makes the entire world of the difference as I have learnt the hard way and learning to make a customer happy is really important.

Everything seems to be up and going, I guess I should be heading to bed soon, and somehow tonight, there's just a lot of mozzies going around. Oh pick on someone else, turning in, nights.

Faith Wallpapers Thursday, September 03, 2009

Happy Kid Saturday, August 15, 2009

Think about when is the last time you think you're happy! Since returning from Thailand, I'm once again reminded of what gets me ticking!

Simple food with the people you love or care about, sitting and sharing life's experience from the older people. Being just a listener, enjoying my scoop of hazelnut, sitting in front of a glass window on a stool, watching the world go by. It is just so fulfilling! Very happy me.

Once again i'm always thankful on being reminded on the things that always makes me happy. The simple pleasures of life, to be able to share them with the ones you love or care walk with each other. Family, friends or lover, they're really God'
s life preservers.

EXHAUSIVE! Sunday, August 02, 2009

This week has been a crazy week, that as i sit and put a closure to this week, which I am glad to really do this. The entire week has merely been spent lying on the bed, first trying to make sense of my back spraining incident that seems so trival, wondering how on earth did it happen. And just simply by reaching out for my facial foam and letting out a deep cough, i couldn't move my back from then on. Rolling was hard, pulling up my pants after peeing wasn't that easy either, climbing and walking was simply back breaking.

It isn't my first time experiencing a back sprain but it was one of the most disabling one for the day. Thank God for lovely prayers from Chass that really made me move, and before that from the dubby and my sister that helped made the pain manageable. The day after was a visit to the Sinseh and gosh, I do realise that when I'm in pain, I do not cry but giggle it away. Mom was saying I have to be the most noisiest patient the Sinseh ever had.

I thought all was over, and came the next day of falling into a fever and a flu, that took me another 2 days to recover. By then, its already Thursday. It did seem to feel that everything just don't seem to go my way for the week, and tormenting in a sense of just lying on the bed, to rest continuously. Popping panadols, filling the entire bin up with tissue balls and simply drinking up water isn't the most funnest of things to do, but that took 2 days. I was glad to have the fever gone on the next day, but the most irritating portion was simply to just be up and well all over again.

Finally, today's Sunday and I can greatly scream before today ends, that my back feels all better already, fever is gone and my flu is pretty much left to small tiny bits that I can say its quite negligible. Had a great walk down from City Hall to Orchard with the Sunday lovelys. I thank God for each and everyone of them, for making Sunday's different. The walk was reflective and good after what Pastor Enoch said today, that i realised and felt the beauty of Chinese once again. In just mere simple words, the depths that the words brings about, i was quite taken away and I could really say, i was 100% attentive during the entire session. Just sapping up on the matters of perspective, on what really matters in life. Would it be the internals or the externals? For often enough, we tend to place emphasis on the matters of life that are actually the most trivial. And the matters in which we should be placing our entire heart and soul into it, we simply either choose to ignore it, or simply can't be bothered with it.

I did learn at the end of the day, what many things that are easily taken for granted for daily, like health can be actually be easily overlooked upon from time to time, in our forever busy lives. Rolling over in bed seems like the most easy thing to do, took me triple the efforts to just sleep on my sides. Reaching for my pants after peeing seems like the most natural thing to do, took me nearly twice the time taken to pee and get out of the toilet. Reaching for things seems so easy, now am reminded that I should take some care or least bend over to pick things up.

Suffered a horrid headache, to be even more determine to go into a period of worship with my guitar and thereafter, rush over to the toilet to puke my doublecheese burger out after my late supper. Felt better and I'm quite sure finally tonight, I can sleep a natural sleep due to real tiredness, and be at peace with it. I'm thankful :)

AWESOMELY AWESOME TMT Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Ahh. Back finally from another trip to Thailand, where it has to be the coolest trip of experiencing God's tangible love and His awesome power revealed, where there is casting out of demons, healing the sick and just releasing God's love out to the many out there, who feels rejected or unworthy, God loves everyone of them and you.

It has been too awesome that I haven't had time to sit down and thank God and just rest in His presence to take in every part of what the 10 days have been. Maybe just today, later, I'll be having my chance.

Was supposed to be sending out resumes out again, but I ended up looking at all the pictures of Thailand once again on Facebook! Its been just such a great 10 days of living a time and culture so close to God, i'm just praying there's ability to bring back the same thing He does back onto this concrete jungle. Not impossible, just maybe harder. ahahah, but not impossible!

Its been back to back action, knowing the fact of being able to rest in the Lord's presence will be on top of the list today, and also, continue with that job searching.

I'm looping Soon on my playlist now. Its just an awesome day the Lord has made, I love rainy days for they bring forth the soft feel, and makes me get all reflective and comfortable all over.

"I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon "

Thank you to the awesome trippers who made it to Thailand, every day spent with each other has just been so encouraging. Walking together in this walk of faith and in the supernatural, is one of the greatest joy. =) For God who made His presence felt ahaha! And all the prayers and support from everyone else.

i'm a GEEK! Thursday, July 09, 2009

Ah hah! Tired from my long haul walk yesterday from Beach Road down to Sim Lim Square. While I was walking, lugging the laptop at my back, walking onwards, it partially wet and windy yet hot from all the walking weather, i felt Him speak, "hey, you don't really get to do this often, do you?" And i smiled while i was walking, though complaining from time to time how hot it was, but i was had fun.

It was all gifts to people! Or least some form of act of love, ahahah! Deciding on which router, it was funny how long we haven't spoken to each other and hearing his voice was nice after a long time. But I think while watching Miu Kiu Wai's recent drama, I somehow had this feel that I've got a figure of who I do wanna spend my life with. (I think he'll be happy reading this)

And during these weeks of just communicating through texts messages, I realised that he is so far, the only guy who is able to make me think of him from time to time, and just smile, imagining his dorky smile. Our rides, sitting together just catching up and praying for each other, and sharing how usually the happenings of the week went.

Eating donuts on my own, makes me own this silly smile, listening to the House Soundtrack he found, sigh. I feel all warm and fuzzy like a teddy bear all over. I know he's someone I'll go to, air my grouses out when it comes, or when i do have random thoughts in my head, he'll be the one who will entertain them. ahaha and my silly ideas!

i'm just taking this phase one step at a time, enjoying the time of missing someone. It is actually a luxury, and i enjoy being in it LOL! So when we meet, the first embrace. Ahh. hahaha i feel the anticipation building up. And i'll remember all the sweet nonsensicals we do with our favourite teddies :) I miss his grebit act too. ahahah it makes me laugh like crap. =) yes, i miss you :) but i don't tell it out, cause i enjoy just doing it smirkishly at the privacy of my bedroom or in my head, whilst i go about travelling on a bus, staring out at the window!

Lets go nomnomnom when you're out again, and i'm back again!

Oh yes and the movies he will find when i name them, I've finished with Michael Clayton :) Yes George Clooney is so hot, and cute! Storyline's not too bad too, been having this urge to watch all these slightly deeper than usual storylines, that has a deeper meaning to it, probably cause i'm feeling that way too. I enjoy at times like these, when there's nothing else much for me to do, or life has been mundane, things like these perks my brains up to think and pay attention to more details and perspectives.

My late fettish of once again listening to Cantonese and reading chinese subtitles, its been awhile! guess i'll go guitar abit after watching Tommy Emmanuel on his Maton guitar, go attack Fly Me To The Moon! I'm dreaming of Macs and Martins falling from the skies, and I'm reminded of dear Rissa telling me, "Joyce, don't talk! ACTION" ahaha, she is quite a motivator really! LETS GET OUR MARTINS?

Thank You! Tuesday, June 30, 2009

This goes out to the awesome team of Sarah and Wan Hsi, for being them, seeing how much God moves in their lives encourages me,visiting their place, chatting n chilling with them:)

It is amazing how God works and speaks through them. Like what Wan Hsi was saying, that i should be speaking more into people's lives - she saw me doing that in her dreams months back. I was reminded of what another person said over me that they see a river of life on me. Sarah said I shld hang out more at the home. Which really isn't something i didnt know, some I have no idea why i keep thinking of heading overseas,how i thought otherwise.

I wonder how this is going to go sincepastor andrew did ask me to work full time there. its been nearly quite sometime already not too sure about it, but i guess i know where to start now instead of keep thinking it's gonna be in the next couple of years time or something. or funnily thinking its going yo be overseas. Everything now has just gone past my mindset of in the time to come to now, is alittle unnerving, but i guess, its now or never lol. This is exciting.

Also, not forgetting my beloved Godparents, who've juz have been amazing in setting the ground, believing what have been set on their hearts, its really lovely and blessed to have them:) to see and fulfill what His plans are for this entire church and generation and lifetime is really the greatest of all history. wow! quite awestruck after ending my day today. still on that mode. thank you Jesus!