Had a good sleep. yesterdae. Sleeping early and den waking up once again to carry on drawing. harhar. fianally completed the drawing of the final piece and the development work. =) Brings back loads of memories yeah. back den when i was 13-14. harhar. Yeap, having art lessons and whereby we had to draw development work and all. and come up wif the final piece. left to paint it which i guess i'll have to get it done when i get home. aaiyee. feeling moody all over again lar.. since saturdae nite. whoa. loads of feelings and thoughts. when i heard of Min Jong oppa's dad's passing. arh. =(

Heart sank. and went out to him. as i saw this pic.



The loss of someone. reallie painful. haiz. as i saw the vod of the funeral. argh. *sobs*.. God bless the family.. praying fer strength and god's grace to be upon the entire family le. gonna wash up now.. finish up my dumplings.. 7th aunt's making i think. taste reallie yummy cause its made by her.. har.. had this dumplings and this taste has remained in me fer the past.. 12 years or something. very homey. very aiyee. just like eating it once in a while..

Feeling moody these couple of days. Well, to be exact. Since yesterdae.. Mind went on thinking mode. Lots of "what ifs" in the passing of Min Jong oppa's aboji. [father]. Yeah. U kind of say its sort of like another lesson learnt fer me lar. somehow. i hope. anyways. the pics. [aBoVe: picture of a sunset. nearby my cousin's place. was heading to her place just now. while i saw the beautiful shade of orange and blue. whoa.]
[aBoVe is the closer up pic of what caught my eye. i just thought it was lovely. =) ] [aBoVe: Harhar. all smiles. todae was a dae out wif Indri. aka. Tut. aka Mummy. harhar. oh well. Somewhere outside my place.. ] [aBoVe: She's tryin to be shy. harhar. oh well. I'm all smiles]

Well, pretty much a slacking weekend. getting to do wad i was supposed to do. but something left staring at me. is dat colour and composition work. yet to draw and paint the final piece after working on the development. better go catch my mind back soOn. before it starts running again. harhar. time to settle down for more serious work coming up. *dreads* which is also called mugging all over once more. harhar. job of a student rite?

Uploading pictures. but gonna head back to doing the tutorial fer todae ba. just wanna hit the pillows now. God noes. harhar. been wanting to hit it always these past few days. not dat i've been working reallie hard. just love. the bed. somehow now. harhar. dat it speaks to me everynow and den. oh well. Gonna run to Ah Pa tonite. tell him everything's on me. Prayers and blessings be upon the "usual suspects". but in addition. Min Jong oppa's family and loved ones toOo. haiz. God look after each and everyone of u tonite. tml. always be. nitey.

Hmm. Another week gone once more.. Its pretty freaky coming to think of it how long u've been in skool already since the new semester started. Week 5 is alreadi quickly ending. Or u can say, it has alreadi ended and now. Week 6 is heading my way. hahar.. and yeah. Projects are piling, clearing them slowly at a time. and mid-sem tests are all coming up. Time to catch up and start chomping on all ur notes alreadi i guess..

Hmm.. wad else. Well, more or less. I guess MAFIT is pretty done up. Guess tml am gonna probably stay at home and finish up on my colour and composition assignment. development drawings and final drawings wif painting all to be done by next thursdae. Whoot. and then probably spent sometime mugging alreadi.

Todae morning was pretty horrible. Cause of a whole nite of sleep yestedae. Dunnoe wad happened but morning i remember was quite a giddy affair. some panadol did the trick lar. fine till the nite. couple of hours ago. The toilet became the most frequently visited place in the house next to my bedroom. Goodness lar. Some toilet drill. wad a dae. seems like someone's wishing me sick or wad? harhar. well, maybe. I'll survive. Humph.

Days's pretty ok. Till someone came by and told me. "i hate u". harhar. oh well. I think i didn't do anything wrong in holding my stand. my mind's made up and dat's it. u wanna hate me by all means. hold ur grudges against me. hmm. gosh. I think i must do some major revamp in myself. can i behave to be less caring and friendly to the ppl around. omma said. I could be overdoing things. well, i think i might just have done soOo or wad. hmm. hard to care fer ppl at times or wad. shall answer my own question one dae.

Guess i'm heading to bed. enough of stuff fer the dae. been a pretty long one. hmm.

Hmm. Thought of leaving these JUNG WOO SUNG pics here. fer Jin Hui dearie. harhar. and fer Janna. Hu's both fallen in love wif this korean hottie. I dun admit he's not handsome. but eh. hahar.. I've taken up wif other favourites le. If its have to be no 2s. they're Tim and Jo Seung Wo. harhar.. lalala..

This is a new movie. "Sad Movie".. harhar.. yeah. Stars Cha Tae Hyun toOo. harhar.. well. Jung Woo Sung oppa is in there. soOo yeah. I've yet watched "moment to remember". Humph. I'm soOo gonna do soOo in time to come. SoOo many stuff all stacking up waiting fer me to watch lar. hee..

Its nearly 1am now.. I stepped out of my bedroom after working on some project. [I'm still not done yet as i blog]. It rained. lovely. seeing the rain. drip out of da window. the smell of da rain. in da night. makes everything just lovely. something to calm my senses down. Just thought of letting my thoughts here first before i head back to work and get everything completed. Tomorrow is another day. Pretty packed one. School is just getting packed.

Weekend was great. Spending it over at my cousin's aunt's place. To celebrate da aunt's birthdae wif a barbeque. Chef of da dae wif my cousin. but somehow. harhar. food wasn't marinated toOo well at times, soOo food was just o-kay. didn't had much drinking session, just dat bout but the effect was there. harhar. enough to put me to bed.

Was it ytd or todae dat i said it. i think was saturdae where i opened my mouth. and said it. I called it off. [ as much as i felt guiilty ]. Fridae. i sensed i had enough of it. when he asked if he could peck me. hahar. i had it. explainations time over and over again. i told him i wasn't the one he was looking fer. and in any case. not close to da ones of his gurlfrenz dat he had. I told him right from da start. I was reallie DIFFERENT> hahar. i doubt anyone sees dat point from my point of view.

2 months into it. he has changed [fer the better]. but yeah. lookin at it. there's somethings were things are to be dat way. harhar. the possessiveness in ppl times can drive one person's nuts. the difference in thinking. drives each other to a corner. one can never understand how come he can never lay his hands on some things. while the other. feels. u dun nid to show ur love and affection the way u "used" to do. soOo much soOo fer the differences. but the main part. prompted me to do the thing i should have done soOo earlier. the main big fact. "How well do u noe each other".

Harhar. dat was it. i had to do it man. The fact was dat always i felt. i didn't reallie noe him dat well. i doubt he knew me the person i am. harhar. toOo different. though as much as one can say. I reallie am getting to noe u better. but i reallie nid to do the thing dat i love doing. and i nid to do it. is to watch someone from afar and get to noe the person slowly. den..

That whole process is gonna take time which doesn't matter a whole lot to me. but i think it matters to someone else much more den it matters to me. Slow and easy fer me. never works fer ppl. harhar. Mom tells me i play things toOo coOL at times, it drives da guys nuts. harhar.. Blame it on da way i grew up. toOo independent. soOo fault fer me? hahar. I dunnoe. but i just love relying on myself. me. and i. harhar. yes. frenz. family n da one up there. da list goes on where i reallie look to dat boifren. harhar.

I haven't feel dat i can rely on someone. cause something has confirmed something. wad's solid rock stands firm. someone who has stood by me all these while. hu else but the solid rock over the years. weathered wif me through the stormiest days of my life. the eupheria of my life. every single step. i believe he watched me through day one. dat's the first thing dat i think of. and run to ever single time i nid a pillar to lean on. [now is dat something dat is wrong wif me?]

God. it puts me in such a dilenma at times. it runs me weary. dry. tired. "leave me alone" attitude. I realise i can never never substitute my faith fer anything else. I just dunnoe y. I cannot realise this one point. this is the second time i'm committing this mistake. and i dunnoe why. and wonder when will i be able to fall. and rise and learn to stand tall. at the one point. i nid someone hu shares dat most important fact. priority in life.

Somehow, i just realised it all over once more. I can never change dat priority in my life. somehow, u feel. "weird". and next thing u'll be sensing those "guilt" in u. as much as u noe u wad ya supposed to be like "findin da other half." hu's probably a child of God. harhar. kind of bothers me, i nid someone to share dat. harhar. wad ya listening to. when u dun apply it. it just makes u dat "traitor" feeling.

I was being asked. "tell me u wanted to commit. but how much have u commited" harhar. i noe i tried. harhar. but its jux toOo much of a bugging issue. when a voice tells me. "halloe, joyce? wad u doing?". as much as the feeling of being cared fer. loved. looked after. brings u high up there among a cloud by the no. 9. it brings u back to earth. in one huge loud thud. and u wake up.

Rain's getting heavier now. like someone's sharing his thoughts wif me. [i feel u ah pa]. :) times i feel. i've just gotten myself in another mess. fer bringing someone else rite down. back down to earth wif a huge thud toOo. he's feelings fer me are reallie deep man. i dunnoe if they're true or not. somehow. there's something behind them. i just dun kind of seem to fall fer the entire thing.

Jayson told me. "ya not ready fer anything". which could be. but more den dat. Its been toOo manie things going on around me. I nid to get to the bottom of things. when things settle. and if things are meant to be. i believe they are. waiting fer the cloud to settle. and holding on to dat faith of mine. refusing to let it go. harhar. i love my ah pa. harhar.. =)

May God look after me lor. [which i'm sure he does] harhar.. Keep walking. Sem's tight this time. manie things happening. watch where i'm heading. stay out of trouble [i hope].. *holdin on.

Oh well. gotta head back to management stuffy now. Chop chop. and head to bed. nite's soOo coOL now. nitey.

Hmm.. finally finished updating dat blog. to the way i think i wanted it to be. Harhar. God noes when. I became soOo over the colour combination of. Black + white+ orange + gray. hmMm. Its springing out in me again. hahar.. Just love dat colour combination once again.

Well. Been a long time since i went on a blogging spree. can see all the dates of the last post all way long long time ago lar. and the other blogs all not updated. hmMm. hoping to find time some time and sit down and start doing all these "rubbish". been a long time since i had time and the luxury to sit down in front of da computers in da afternoon and just blog and type and just enjoy da dae.

Life's pretty much no more like year 1. year 2 sooo much into skool now. harhar.. which means less time fer handsomes. haarhar. and just sitting down and play wif photoshop. pictures admired and try to do some stuff to it. but not toOo much now. plus the fact there's him in the picture now.

Well, we just chatted. and great. harhar. i think he's upset again. i guess he's thinking wad have he done. harhar. cause wadever he's doing can't seem to get "closer" to me. actualli he did nothing wrong lar. i'm just drawing a line, not to go anything further to certain extent. harhar. and its "killing" him cause honestly to me. toOo different from da gurls he has. hahar.. soOo different i think its wearing him down i think.

haiz. oh well. i think enough on da part. dun wan to hurt anyone if things ain't gonna be working out. least its sweet memories lar. hahar. some gut feelings tell me this aint gonna be. last time it said so, same thing happened. well, someone just told me. I was someone hu could be easily understood actualli but not a person easy to "live" wif. harhar. yeah. wif my silly nonsense and way awkward thinkin. which i think onli the omma[s] noe me real well.

*sigh* i dun wanna be drawing dat line and treatin him dat way anyway. but harhar. its da best from falling to deep into these soOo called. love. i think it still takes ages to fully grasp wad the entire meaning of it. give me a lifetime and i think i'll still be pondering on wad it is.

There're soOo manie issues involved in this relationship at times. i feel i am betrayin my own values at times. hahar. i think i should still at the end. stick to the end to wad has been said in the book of life. and face the facts or something. harhar. its hard. but yeah. feels good wif da line being drawn. nothing beyond dat extent. but its hurting him :( imao. i dunnoe. can something else be done soOo he ain't dat sad.

I wish i could just follow as wad omma said. "just be friends only lar". how coOL will dat be rite. harhar. i dunnoe. trying to get more of da person more and wad i like to do best, is watch and observe and study the person from afar. but no. this person dun belong dat afar from me. God noes man. its hard to please each other. seems like i can't make myself happie at the same time wif someone happie toOo or wad. god noes. reallie tiring having to think of all these things.

Harhar. I am blogging in skool.. Lalala.. Fun loor. wharhar. Jux had erm. LAIT. harhar. Wad's dat. Legal Aspects fer IT. hahar. had a funny "encounter" lar. pure fun. Harhar. I call her. The teacher hu brings me down the wall. Wad's her name. I noe. Its called. Mrs Wong. Wad wong. I dunnoe. Later.. gonna climb up the wall again. Dat Ng. Harhar. Yvonne Ng. well. doesn't the ultimate. U make me fly over the wall. U must noe her. Her name is called.. Called.. Miss JUNE YIP. erh. she's horrid. harhar. U noe y she teaches accouting. She's soOo particular about ur timing. ahrhar.

Okie lar. I'm just being bo liao lar. Hahar. Nothing to do while waiting fer lessons to starts. Next lesson starts at 4. Didn't bring enough paper to print print. SoOo just blog lar. Wanna surf oso server slow. harhar. waiting to head home lar. den get to surf surf. yesterdae toOo busy doing report fer e-biz. tut fer lait. hahar. No time fer handsome. lol. Miss their faces. wharhar..

Okie lar. Better stop here. Just remembered dat when I head home later gotta do art. hahar. cutting and more cutting and more pasting. harhar. sOo much soOo fer choosing colour and composition fer ur electives. fun is fun. and its non-examinations based but it kind of eats up loads of time i think. hahar. Yeah. The end of the week is coming near. wharar. :) can't wait. celebrating caroline's burfdae. harhar. den i think got party or something. den get to drink again. yeah. harhar. Long time no drink. harhar.. :D SoOo dat's all fer now. nothing to do again i shall blog again later when i get home again.