Hmm. it is a long time since i last blogged. or probably it is a long time since i last rant on this free given space. arharhar. been toOo tired or practically to tired up trying to sit down and reflect on the days that have passed me by soOo fast. it literally seemed like the week just passed me by like a couple of days ago. rushing for org. behaviour. then it was a frantic rush to get your otbs eshopping cart up, and sand done. and marketing all in the same week. arharhar. thank God things have started looking up for the workload which always seemed like it was never ending. thank God for the awesome team mates i've been blessed with and for keeping me in a good state. arharhar. though after suffering from some running bloody nose for the couple of weeks. i guess and hope all's well for now. i just prefer the slower pace of life whereby you could sit down and just reflect and admire the things around you. the beautiful skies. arharhar. yes. and more time and energy to enjoy the scenic view along the ECP. which always rocks, but haven't had sufficient energy to keep my eyes open cause either when i'm heading to school or returning from school, by the time the bus got there, i'm already dozed off. arharhar. it's a hell of a week i say, and its a hell of a semester this time round. because as soon as your project weeks are done, it'll be heading back to school for revision week and then your study break and then its your semester exams again and its off from school for a month before you head off to another 4 months off with your attachment. darn its fast.

i have plans to work on the webspaces that i've created but haven't had the time to sit down and do the updates on them. play around and create more wallpaper and get my photoshop skills off somewhere. arhahar. just laze around at home more please. sit down in front of my laptop. enjoy some good dramas or korean movies. puarharhar. i'm the happiest woman on earth. just enjoying time to myself doing the things i want. fly me off to cebu once again and i'm flying!! arharhar. the happiest woman on this planet i tell you. arhhararh.

but thank you to Raymond + Martin + Wee Zhun + Jayson + Lavonne + Pei Lian for the fun day out. arharhar. definitely sweet time we all had over at the nooch bar. and lavonne. arharhar. i did bring that one more bar of battery out. just erm. didnt ransack my bag hard enough. oops. arhrahar. but definitely fun eating out with the whole bunch. from working groups to wharhar. gathering together getting to know more of each other and not who i thought who you all are. wharhhaar. =) shall upload the pictures hogging on to some comp in the house that has SD card reader. arharhr. my lappy doesn't have! duh. oh wells.

So its the chinese new year. and i'm still feeling not much of the excitement as compared to the previous year. I guess heading for a countdown at least to chinatown does at least bring up the atmosphere up a tad bit. but i guess everyone's busy with their work and school soOo neverminds. maybe i get to feel more excitement tomorrow? arharhar. first days are boring. but yeah. arhahrar. mummy's steamboat rocks! always love that soup base she has. sweet and yummy. and been having this sense of bloated-ness after days of skipping meals arhahar. from working and working in the labs. whaharhar, i can afford the mum-ing of food now i suppose. arhahar. sure put on weight again. duh. arharhar. anyways. may tomorrow be a better day and it will be arhhar. and happie 19th burfdae to Lyn. =) and to all. Have a blessed doggie year ahead ar. =) Eat more and be merry and think bout losing the pounds you all. we all grow rounder together mar? arhahar. then we all frantic lose weight together mar. ahrahah. =) And to martin + raymond and to all working on their projects during this new year. play hard oso lar. work work work. will mad one leh. arhahar. =) Chill ppl~~ *peace

arharhar. i saw da "cho seung woo" lookalike in skool again =)

alrighty. arharhar. just to blog. i'm really r e a l l y t i r e d. arharhar. yes. after a day of heading out to shop with my 2 cousins. really really fun cause i just felt we 3 had a "reunion". cause i think the 3 of us have never been this close b4 yet. arhahar. probably cause we talk bout basically everything down the sun now and it is fun. arhahar as me and carol tag up and pull off some funny jokes on kim yee. puhar. and she goes around beating our heads as the 2 of us tries to dodge. yes. its public. arhahrar. while walking she tries hitting both of our heads? arhhar. funny gurl. she looks ultra demure on the outside. arharhar. but i think anyone seeing her do that, they'll probably change their perception of that gurl. duh. arhahar. but it was fun walking around to grab our new years clothes cause i dun wanna squeeze with the crowd as new year draws closer and town gets really packed. plus its really gonna be rush rush of projects. to do the seemingly impossible. arhhaar. [kidding!] it is possible arharhar. but is really walking each step and watching each step. puhar. praying for strength + guidance bout everyday to keep me going. it gets tiring. arharhr. anyways. keep praying. *crosses fingers*

hmm. results wise for the mid term test have soOo far been ok. its like arhhar. round what i kind of expected. arharhar. round the Bs and an only A. arhahar, for marketing [cause Mr Siow teaches really well :D] but you now what? Apparently the hmm. [do i get sued for slander/libel] cause my Org. Behaviour teacher doesn't like me the very least. and honestly i dunnoe wad i did cause from the first lesson, i could F E E L and S E E that detestment she had in her eyes for me. which was pretty obvious i think maybe i stepped onto her tail or something but erm. i dunnoe. i didn't do anything!! that's a really a mere pass. puhar. aiyo. i better hope i get by this subject. somehow. arharar.

but anyways. today's shopping got me 2 new tops. yeah. new life in my wardrobe. b r e a t h e. cause its new. arhhaar. new lease of life? arhahar. yes. i get bored easily and i'll always say my tops are not enough while the cupboard seems to be filling up. arhahar. got an Astro Boy baggie. arhahr. yeah. new bag. wharhar. fulfills what i wanna get. enough. arhahar. get the new year over and done with all the deadlines coming up for the projects. its the number 3. the lucky number 3 cause there'll be 3-4 subjects needing to hand it in soOn in no time. i hope i'll manage. and harhar. and look forward to a good reward of yummy food with reunion dinner i think after all those hard work. yummy steamboat with omma's yummy chilli. arhahar. but yes. i nid to work out soon. run? skip? basketball? exercise!! my tummy's getting bigger and seeing that bluge blopping out as i tried on the new clothes puts me off! big time. arhaar. but its kind of expected at the rate i've been eating since christmas. all the chocolates. arhahar. oh dear. work baby!! ahrahrar.

anyways. i wanna thank God and Uncle Henry yesterday for allowing me to play last night during bible study at his place for worship. its a small crowd but i really never expected myself to play. i always felt i wasn't ready honestly to play for God, till like now. no confidence somehow. arhahar. till he put on dat stap, passed the spectrum to my hand and placed that guitar over my head. aiyo. i still kept going "uncle henry, you play, you play..." arhahar. never ready enough i think me. and he went into his room to get another guitar "dun worry. i open another one". feels better that way. he had 5 guitars at home. and they're all really chic stuff. clear + distinct sound and light and compact. its fun. wharhar. and we had 3 guitarist last nite. a pianist. gladly things went ok with the presence of a real greenhorn. [i always played alone in my room] arhahar. playing for God's coOL. but it was a real experience for me. thank you for the experience =) to all.

alritey alrighty. i'll sign off here. my eyes are really closing and hey. i heard Min Jong oppa's "You're My Life" over the radio at 12++ am on DOngLI 88.3 just now. its cOoL cause i seldom hear korean songs played over the airwaves nowadays and its Min Jong oppa's voice and my favourite song. ended up playing his album again. arhahar. he rocks. and went to have some luxury of heading to the forums board and hang around for some time posting. [its has been a real long time hanging out on the boards] never really have that luxury nowadays. so its nice. and pleasantly, had a smile on my face as i saw Dong Gun oppa's smile. those pics of the nkino photo take. aiyo. soOo cute. i place one pic here ok. ultra cute. makes me smile. arhahar. wif Min Jong oppa's voice heard. pleasant nite and sweet dreamy.

i edited it to this size just to see the big smiles on the face. i like the comfort of the 2 guys being close but yet comfortable. arhahar. real man pic. eEee. his soOo cute!! Dong Gun oppa's ultra cute in this pic. arhahar. *squalls*

Just came home from Chinatown to walk around the rows of open air shops selling well, mostly food and more glorious F O O D. arharhar. yes. this years "in" thing is that Taiwan Muah Chee. Well, its just that its pre-packed into bite sized pieces and comes in thousands of flavours and i lurve the red bean and sesame flavoured ones. heh. but was pretty pissed somehow. during dinner cause mummy and me ordered chicken porridge for me and it came to my table as fish porridge [its the last thing ever on my mind to eat!! soOo fishy!] i ate a mouth only to find out that it was fish and was helpless at the end of it cause you have eaten it! *sigh* but the comforting dish on the table was my favorite steamed beancurd with this light sauce i think topped with yummy spring onions and also fried onions. heh.

Today was somehow a unlucky day for both mummy and me i think. cause she got wet by the canvas covers over our heads, it was raining and yes. it stored rain water on top of it and somehow, a small puddle drench the side of mummy. poor mummy. as for me. its the porridge accident, somehow i think i am not a very fish-y person, unless one person can get rid of that fish-y taste out of it. har. FRY it. arharhar. or least u top it off with loads of ginger, tomato, pepper and sauce!! arharhar. oh well.

Somehow, probably it is still early from the coming new year that there isn't any atmosphere, arharhar. i don't know. something is lacking somewhere? i wonder. can't find the reason, just companying mummy walking around the streets. arhahar. i still feel like a little girl whenever i walk out with her.

- on the bus. whenever you board the bus, mummy never fails to look out for a seat for herself and for me. arharhar. but i normally stand when there's just too many people. but prefer the backend seats in private or in secrecy. away from the crowd. arhahar. please =)

- when you are about to alight from the bus, mummy looks for you and arharhar. asks you to get down too.

- she tends to be on the lookout for cars and she holds my hands which has grown from that smaller size of her palms to almost identical sizes of her palms 18 years down the road. its fun walking around with mummy looking at her smile at my silly comments or jokes. arhahrar.

- she bought yummy food, arhahar. like pork floss, [i came out with the recipe to butter the toasted bread and place that floss on top of it. bet it is gonna taste close to that pork floss crackers from Thailand!] arhahar. i get crazy ideas once i tasted that floss.

anyways for now i'm still filled up to the brim. kept munching all the small thingies along the way, making myself sure that i am assured of putting on a couple of pounds or probably kilos since christmas. with the chocolates, yummy ham, turkey. aiyo. the parties of food. i'm fat! arharhar. and now its new year again. and yes. feed and fill to the brim yo. let's be hearty and decide to slim down after all these events end shall we. arhahar. =)

surface matters done. let's talk about what has been "eating" me since last night. I wasn't home cause i was over at my cousin's place once again. cause her other aunt needed to take down the christmas tree, and the team of 3 [consisting of my cousin, her mum and me] went down to dismantle the tree. i've been reflecting about it. its something bout me and my cousin. yes. to face it, there's some issues being swept under the carpet. arharhar. apparently, i do not need to talk about it, but i can see it on her face. its apparent but i guess i didn't bothered to talk about it with her.

Yes, i guess cause of some of these issues that somehow, the relationship between me and her younger sister, we got closer cause basically we shared more just relating to each other and she's there to company me when she was away. its fun with her younger sister cause she reminds me so much of what it is just lets say, 3 years ago. its like looking at the younger version of myself at times but somehow, a tad different. harhar.

just before bedtime for the 3 of us last nite, i don't know but i just went. "maybe we're aren't that close anymore". yes, on the surface it looks like. but if it means sharing like what we used to, no. its just something that needs to be addressed before the close cousin-ship we had would have turned to a mere "hi-bye" kind of friendship. i went on and on as i usually did, telling everything i felt. and yeap. most of what i said were true. harhar. its just something you don't have to tell me, but the looks on your face on the eyes of a person is enough to tell me the gist of what is going on. i believe in one thing till now that what is on your eyes, never lies. and till now, yes. that is the window to what i think of the person. say what you want but the look in your eyes tells me you do want to share with me somethings but something was holding her back.

"its because i see you like very close to my mom.." yes, gut feeling told me that probably i talked too much. i meddled too much into matters of people's. they stopped telling you anymore. but honestly, i never gave anything away, because i was merely asked of my opinions. that is it. but its ok. i think my opnions never mattered anymore. whatever reasons it is, i take my part of the blame for things to have happened. i just feel things probably are going to be different now. i don't know. i think. that's about it. *sigh*

this same thing has happened before. way back when we were like 12-13 year olds. we stopped talking with each other cause of some misundertandings but somehow got back closer than anything when we were 14. arhahar. i guess its time for me to realise time again, all good things come to an end. and an end does not necessarily means a bad end. endings does come in happy endings i guess.

i did quite a bit of self reflection on myself. my own doings. the words i say. the things i do. i don't know in times of this, but apparently i think i must have protrayed myself as a person of confidence to people who looks at me from the exterior. because. apparently during yesterday's YA's group sharings, that word used to descibe me came out a number of times which came of as a surpise. always trying to keep a low profile but i guess my low profile not enough. it could be this that my way of thinking differs from hers, and probably the confidence people feel and sees in me has led to a growing distance. which i believe was likely the likelihood that added on to things. maybe the sense of direction in my life has been clear at times, the purpose of my life laid clear in front of me, the strong faith in God that she sees in me, but erm. i think bout this one, i have lost my sense of direction in the way how things should go along with us.

Somehow, i feel weird when things just apparently play the way like it apparently is but it is not exactly what it should be. i will choose to just let things mellow, not meet up maybe or?? but just a regular touch with each other through distant means like the phone or the sms service. i dunnoe. maybe i just want to be alone. quit meddling in matters of other people already. since it seems that i've created quite a mess. =) maybe i'll learn on my own to mind my own business. but i think i can't do it at times, for placing people's interest first then mine has always been my style. i don't know seriously.

i know for one thing is for sure. i'll be crying out for guidance on this one. there's a tinch of sadness somehow in me. can't find a reason why. being misunderstood? things just going for a bout of change? it amazes me cause the thing i'll be praying really hard since the start of the new year seems to be strength every day and now. is guidance. yes. finally. the homing missle has suddenly lost its way! arharhar. in one of the many things. guess its time to come down and sit beside God's feet and just listen what He has got to say. cause He just did something again. arharhar. Money in the wallet apparently seem to be tight, arhahrar. cause the compensation money from Silkair was used first and i was saving to get it paid back =) after the arharhar. season of giving. I wasn't that worried lar, just that you got to watch what you spent, arharhar. An aunt just gave me a good sum of money that arharhar. which was amazing that i thought back. Must have been God lar. arhhaar. such wonderful timing! heh. Thank You and you seriously know what it is to shout out. Amen.

Perhaps times have changed.
Perhaps we have grown.
Perhaps the thinking in us have differed.
Perhaps i lost my senses.

Time passes by,
Seasons change
And so do us.. people.
Maybe its nature taking its course.

All i know, most of the earthly things undergoes changes.
But for one thing that never change.
It is your unfailing love.
Your unchaging love that no matter how many times we turn our backs on you, you never lost hope in any one of us.
In your hopes that all of us will come and realise.
That You were standing behind each and everyone of us.
Never missing or leaving anyone of You behind as much as You felt you were alone.
How many times you teared. cried out to the someone out there that you hope hears you.
You were heard. for He cried too with you that when you cried yourself to bed. you never felt so comforted. you felt heard. That comfort that a being such as Him is able to transcend upon you. The peace in your heart that embraces you and fills you up with a new sense of hope and strength after the entire process of crying. For you to stand up on your own 2 feet again and carry on walking.
I hope You. yes you. your paths will one day cross the path of His.
Get to meet this person and know this person more.
That is the love of the Father.
Watching you as you are.
An unexplainable feeling.
A heavenly touch. that makes you feel so touched. so whole.

Watch me will you? Take my hands, like a child. To be felt what it was like to be a child all over. Walk with me will you? Be with me and guide me please as to how to walk this way. for i know i was never alone. that you were there.. all along. thank you. for being ever so awe-some.

its back to skool today again and its like. whoot. projects deadlines are coming. arhhar. times you feel its bugging you quite a tad bit. but i suppose i'll just have to take a little step at a time. one thing at a time and i guess eventually it'll all round up well, and this semester will be another semester. thinking bout what's coming up can be pretty freaky at all these projects but arhhaar. burn ur weekends! arhahar. more like saturdays. but arh. i just remembered uncle stevens "worship practice" arharhar. ok. =)

the thought of sOo many things to do at such a little time. arharhar. times i feel like to give it all up. arhrahar. but nar, dat's soOo unlike Joyce. Sitting back and "observing" all the "what ifs"? arhhaar. i'm lame. but yeah, that's what I did for a tad while. I somehow got this voice that struck me, someone telling me "hmm. is there anyways I can help you?.. I help you do ... or i help you do that lar.. then like that easier for you right.." arharhar. i dunnoe! it just rang out of my head. arhahar. and then i tried to identify who said that to me. ahrhar. its him again. awWw. arhahar. I still can remember that time. in times of this, isn't it nice to hear someone willing to share your load and lessen some load off your shoulders? Sweet talk and "psycho" you, give you the confidence and faith to do to the things that you do. times i feel i lost the old me sometimes. aharhar. the "iron will" to go do the things i set out to do. arhhar. it somehow. i think depleted? or just maybe i've changed. arhahar. sounds seemingly a tad different from the time i was. arharhar. [somethings wrong with me!] arharhar. oh well. its just hmm. thoughts!

arhahrar. gotta start kicking things off and immersing myself in work! Now you know what it means to go against time. arhhar. staring at this piggy soft toy that Jojo omma bought for me. its staring at me with those cute dovey looks. arharhar. sitting on top of the speakers beside my comp. [**psst. its watching you!!*] arhahar. told her that at least there's something looking at me I'll get motivated to go do the things i'm supposed to do, and she giggled it off. arhrahar. and she got me a toy. cause i was sharing her bout Pooh bear sitting in front of me when I mug my papers. [he's great to sleep on] arharhar.

Alritey, go get some work done. and figure out some diagrams. like SAND is all about "GO FIGURE" arhahar. wonder what Grace is teaching and try to make sense out of it all and do something. its the hardeest project to do. arharhar. You've never been that lost, it beats EBM. arhahar. it just keeps getting better eh? And spent some time with God. He made this great beautiful morning sky in the morning while I was travelling on the bus on the ECP. Whoot. rocks. and the sun beaming down its rays into the bus or at my face. arharhar. [basking in the sun?] arhhar. it was great to see the clouds and everything the cars. the roads. the lampposts. arhharar. after missing a week out of action away from school from the holidays. heh. may tomorrow be a better day! [it should be since its a lecture day]

Ouh yeah. i gotta tell this FREAK Indian guy. its the funniest thing to have happened to me on the bus. I didn't know when the time he sat next to me cause i was fast asleep on my way home on the bus. he sits and reads the papers and i opened my eyes to find this guy seated beside me? reading his Tamil Murasu papers. The weirdest part is that the entire bus is pretty empty, there were plenty of seats around like, why can't you sit any other place, why beside my place? it got me pretty freaky, cause shorty he went to sleep and i was wide awake like o_0? i saw this uncle alighting and i guess uncle was thinking what i was thinking. he gave those suspicious glance at that weirdo and i was like "quick. now!!" said excuse me and got down and like, thank God he "allowed you to pass". arhahar. I got down at harborfront with the uncle and smiled at him, pretty thankful, arharhar. someone realised something! arhahar. actually all what that weirdo wanted was that very seat, on the left side, right at the back of the bus, where I was seatin. cause the moment i left, he sprawled all over on the seat and slept there. guess it's got sentimental value to him or something. thanks for freaking me out a tad bit.

Got mummy a blue bear!! arhahar. its a mobile accessory cause i was given one yesterday and she went "wei, since you got so many of these [mobile thingies] can you give me one?" arharhar. i was like "i don't have many you know", I didn't know what made her think the way but i felt bad, cause i got this new thingy to hang, soOo I got her one, since she wanted to have one. Stood super duper long at the store thinking what to get for her, and when i gave it to her, thank God she said "so cute." arhhar. soOo yeap. Mission accomplished as she kept telling me to "can you please hang it on my phone". arhahar. she's soOo cute. never seen mom getting cute over some BEAR. yeap, i lurve asking her for opinions on the bears i have and she went. "you every christmas also got alot of gifts hor". arharhar. actually also its not that many. arhahar. she's cute! anyways, i like to see her getting smiley over that blue bear. aharhar. actually getting that blue bear was "inspired" by Jojo omma once again. cause her son gave her this similar bear i got for mom for her and she liked it really much. arhhaar. figured mom might like that bear toOo. and true enough!! arhahar. maybe bears has got some magic with moms. its got to be that type! ahahar. signing off here. time to use my brains and think. arhaarh. its a nice nite. chill~!!! nitey.

arharhar. i just had the feel. arhhaar. to write i mean. hmm. how do i describe wad i am feeling now huh. cause the wind was blowing at my face. hmm. i get that. arhahar. reminiscing feel! yeap. thought i should "capture" this moment down eh. somehow when i got up from bed and took my shower today. arharhar. i was just thinking. how december passed me by. thinking a week ago. 2 weeks and just how fast this month passed me by. arhrhaar. X the no of times to 12. dat's probably how fast last year passed me by? arharhar. no lar not really.

I think its soOo gonna rain. arharhar. or maybe. i just have a liking for cloudy rainy days. =) maybe cause somehow you take time off to just take a little time off from what you are doing and just look out and ponder bout the rain. its even more fun if its on the bus though. arhhraar. or in some sheltered vehicle. car or something. then you see droplets and the droplets of rain just rolling down from the side of the window. arh. its beautiful =) and looking through how everything looks from the wet window. everything kind of muffled and see the lights kind of go into one thin red line as the bus pass things by. its pretty funny. arharhar. *laughs out at what i am thinking*

arhrahar. alrite-y. maybe i'm probably just a little bored now but its real fun how this one week of break from skool has been. arharhar. somehow its coming to an end. arhahar. lazing my butt off. spending a couple of days by being a pure couch potato and just lookin at da 2 handsomes. whoot. arharhar. i screamed again? arharhra. when i saw Dong Gun oppa on teevee. arharhar. thinking bout the day that he came. arhahar. i couldn't help it =p arhharar. he's freaking gorgeous. *bites. arhahar. thinking bout skool starting tomorrow and arharhar. everything's gonna be on turbo mode. arharhar. rush rush for the projects again. arharar. duh. fun eh?

30th was Jin Hui's birthday! arharhar. and yeap. she got a cake and arhharar. we sang and took photos and arhahar. they were at k-box and after that. my 2 cousins joined and we went to play pool together. which was pretty whooping-ly expensive on fridays i think. arhahar. but heck. just have fun eh? soOo yeah. they never played much pool soOo aiya. i turned a part time teacher. arhahar. not that i'm that good but well. for the entire fun cause i'm still learning how to slice my ball properly! getting the angles rite. arharhar. pretty fun. then they both stayed over lar. then the new year's eve was once again spent over at that Aunt's place. well. it gets kind of bored when all u do is watch cable. arhahar. and play lots and lots of rounds of "big 2". that again was taught by me. arharhar. to their cousins [cause i'm not related to my cousins - cousins] its the daddie's side. arhahar. and i'm connected to this 2 cousins by me mom! so yeap. but its good to see the bunch of them getting together. cause my first time there. they were all scattered into their small groups and dat 2 cousins were watching teevee wif me? arharhar. soOo break the ice and yeah. they all came together. they're nice ppl lar. cause they're mostly in secondary school soOo arhahar. they're younger. but still connectable. arhahar. good to see a family sitting around like dat =)

anyways. gonna pass today wif me and my laptop. arhahrar. i like the feeling of just sitting in front of it =) chao and happy new year to all of u! blessed 2006 =p *huggiezZz**