great! blogger is having this mobile phone blogging function which will mean those who uses wifi enabled phones can blog easier w this blog mobile function. quite intriguing, cause the benefits is that u get to lie on ur tummy n hold e phone in ur hands n juz type away with ur two thumbs. it really is the ultimate lazy way loh. video cam recording is not as what i thought it is, not tt easy lol! school of supernatural starts tml, really tired. crashing on my room floor now. bye!

everytime i head back to KL to participate in Malaysia Church Camp's or Planetshakers Conference, I can't help but remember the two times I was over, it was always a life changing experience, that cause you to burn so much for the desire that pretty much is what one wants. nothing has changed much, but today, i think i had this desire to really get serious in reading the bible from back to back. I have to, there's just this urge to really get serious bout it. so yes, i'll try making the effort. starting from the front now. ahhaa!

anyway, this time's trip to KL has been such a blast, i took 2 days to recover. I spent a day crippled in bed, cause i couldn't move. Thank God there was grace when i texted Boss that I need a rest, and i was allowed. That was on Monday, Tuesday was a leave I have to take, since on monday, alot of work was done, I wasn't needed. Today was a chill day spent playing badminton, and my hand hurts like crap now. Boss is really good with his drop shots. =)

i thank God for each and everyone of the CPC team member, Sarah and Wan Hsi, everyone over at Antioch, and it just felt everyone who was there, was placed there, to encourage and edify each other. The annointing of the Holy Spirit that just swept, which cause faith to rise, has to be the highlight that will go on for the longest period of time.

i can't say how this team is tight, somehow tight, though we just spent a mere 3-4 days together, its amazing. It could have been the entire of us, sleeping under one roof, helped. But i think was each other, praying for each other, encouraging and talking faith, and encouraging one another through the day and pushing for 100% no matter how tired or sleep deprieved we were, the day before.

the urge to just head out there to prophesy, has to be the greatest highlights. That yes, it's not just set apart for the few, but the many of you, if you believe, and take the step of faith, honestly, anything is possible. and it was shown, as heaven was revealed on earth, this bond and the common desire to just cry out for God, to come sweeping down, as people go on their knees, acknowledging one God we all worship for, has truly been amazing.

there's no doubt that there's hunger for the word in places like Malaysia, it is so strong, that time and time again, though the distances are so near, how we differ in hearing the word. I can only say, we Singaporeans christians might get far too comfy, and take the many things we have for granted, that when its stripped to the bare essentials, how do we fare?

once again, it all boils down back to the heart, and the heart of worship. its not about the instruments, its not about the music, its not bout the voices, but the heart. it does change things when multiple hearts come in unison to reach that level, of crying out for more, that desperation. moves, and things changes, you feel God in your face.

once again, i'm reminded by Gan paps of the issues, and yes. Apart from loving the sinner and hating the sins, it would mean giving honour to that person whether that person deserves it or not. For that, i'm always having trouble with, that once again, it is to be reminded of myself, who am i to judge. to come back once again in humility, and the act of it, of total submission, and what is it all about.

not something easy, but what's love isn't it? its easy loving the loved but try the unloving. i have to leave this down, because this trip has been such a blast, and thank you everyone, for the great time, learning experience, feeling God's presence. Every activitiy was so spirit filled =)

So today, apart of badminton, it was breaking fast with Chass! Awesome stuff, ahaha enjoying our comfort food of fried fish soup (she likes the yuan yang one LOL). Yes and the fella beside her who smelled like bazhang.

mine smelled of dove body foam. the person was cleaning up the headphones. out came a KOSS headphone and i went "WAH" and the next thing that amazed me was when he/she took out her ipod touch. guess what was she listening to. "VIVA LA VIDA" - can't miss the album art for nuts.
and beside her, i was listening to "glass of water" - PROSPEKT MARCH. I wanted to tap her and show her my ipod play list and smile, that for a moment, 2 Coldplay fans met each other and were in the same bus, under the same sky, at the same time, enjoying our beloved.

For Coldplay fans, you have got to download the free album of LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT from coldplay.com . For those who went to the concert, i think this is a great album to rekindle those high moments of "whoo oh oh oh oh" from Viva La Vida. I have a gut feeling this is recorded during the Singapore concert, cause it just sounds pretty asian / singlish. till now, i'm listening it over and over, and blasting it this entire night tonight, i don't know if i'm on a high, or just listening to the thumbing of Will's drums, and Chris banging his fingers on the pianos, Johnny dranging on his guit and Guy just doing his groove.

and the best thing happened to me today, was playing with a black white tuxedo cat (dubby taught me that). I exited from the main door of Harborfront Centre and the cat came running to me, i was supposed to be afraid, but looking at its cute meows and eyes looking at me, i couldn't help but bent down, and started playing with the tabby.

There was another brown-white-black patches one who was lame, i wanted to go over to pray for it okay. But it kept running away from me. So i spent the entire good 15 minutes just giving all my attention to that black tabby who was just following me whereever I went!

And I'm reminded that at the end of the day, no matter animals or human beings, we are all just created for one reason, which is to be loved. and we all love to be loved! i couldn't bear to say goodbye to it, when i was leaving for the bus stop, as it trailed me all the way, till it knew it couldn't anymore, i just said bye bye to it. (yes i talk to anything and everything). it turned its back and returned to where it was camping and meow-ed for more passer by and managed to get one pat from an Indian dude =D It was sweet!

so yeah, give your time out to love someone. though at times they may be hard. but if you try sometimes. i think i'm putting the leftover dinner back into the fridge and do my quiet time. =D Love yous!

yesterday has been quite a ridiculous night. that at times i feel, its a sin or curse to actually be too knowledgeable, you wonder, if by acting stupid might save your sorry ass.

sadly, because i do not want to see my dear mother, aging and still having to worry about all the needless repairs to the things that can go wrong, or spoilt, due to the wear and tear and passage of time, i learn to do alot of things which by default, i can say, i don't know how to do it.

this time round, its all over a stupid headphones (no, i still love headphones, cause I still love the music it provides me with). mom just went through a funeral, and dad expects her to do all these menial stuff, i wasn't being told of what was wrong. only to be called up in the midst of my happy-fun guitar session which I was so much in a mood to. might as well entertain myself.

only to be called up to be ranted at, and hurled quite a tad lot of needless anger issues he has. i thought i explained to him as to why some things just aren't done, but sadly, all he want is to have his say, like a 5 year old. Either on second thoughts, he might need the earphone to get him to sleep, cause silence doesn't work for him, like a lullaby. and it sure doesn't work anymore, he kicked up his fuss of hate, and anger and detestment on my attitude, character and what have you.

for one thing i couldn't stand, was being pushed off all over, or being pushed around by the weight of his money, of the money he provides, and his 3 million house. (which explains my detestment for money, or stucked up snobbish SMEs bosses). I give credits to you for being wise, in having the ability to run and manage a house, but i shall say, a family is not governed by your management-business tactics.

sadly, when talking to bosses like that, their minds are closed. so they think I'm just trying to be a smart educated varsity graduate, giving a speech, or teach them a thing or two. and voiced out their sense of detestment.

sadly, my education doesn't give me the principles and knowledge on life, but its through being educated somewhere else, and reading this powerful book. i wish i could tell you, but sadly, i didn't say anything, none of my mindless "educated" principles. cause it wouldn't have helped anything.

i left, for a walk with my ipod and jacket on, into the midst of all these "unnecessary drama", to quieten myself. And alas, to weep. Weep not because of the emotions of anger or hurt i felt, but sad at the point, there's some points that some will never get to understand. i wasn't particularly angry or hurt, purely because, whatever happened, wasn't something logical, and it came from a person at that point of time, did not make much sense to me. I will not take in senseless nonsense.

but i wept, hard. that sadly, at times no matter how hard i do try to help or least to make things work, it just never gets any better or appreciated. so you just struggle on to another session, working on and on. Appreciation or not, is not an option. I do it, just to help myself not get into unnecessary dramas, again.

This time round, i didn't have the chance to least save myself, in solving another spoilt item. I wasn't given time to figure what was wrong, or least, where or what thingy was spoilt. Just shot at, the moment you showed your face and asked a question "so what's the problem". Which is a necessary question if you need help.

but to the people of high pride, it hurts their man-ego, purely because, they can't do it and they need help. but for me, i need to know what's the problem before I can ever least try to help. I don't promise I can solve a problem but least, try to fix it and make things a little better than before (which usually happens).

people like these, are the most vulnerable ones and the ones requiring a great deal of help, because they're too helpless and lost, and frustrated. purely because they've just placed and bet their lives on the wrong principles, that trying to make it up for it now doesn't seem to go their way, and everything just seems to be going downhill, they're losing pwer and control. so much so for using money, to get things done, doesn't work anymore.

revelation is revealed. truth hurts, and they react in such anger, that i will have to go through this, because you can't handle the truth. i wish i can ever tell you all of these, but it will never get out, or into you, because you can never take it, and i do not wish to be miss unfillial. to drive you to your graves.

i just take it with me down to my grave i guess. (no i'm not suiciding), it just means, it'll just remain in me. i'm so tired of this same shit, of this same thing that has been going on and on. That its so easy to just pack your own bags and leave, for he has said it. "This is my house, you can live out on your own and get out".

it is very tempting but honestly, i need to resubmit that may it not be something that I want, but something that You want. You, give me strength please.

its been a crazy start to this week, over the dramatic incident, but thank God all's clear now, and things are moving along. started to feel weak on sunday and really, illness was just waiting to set in, which made me quite pathetic.

so upon reaching @ KL, the whole day was spent busy doing nothing apart from traveling up, some small meetings and dinner and karaoke for the night. There, I think it has been fun sharing with Jacqueline. and another dramatic end off to the trip.

all i can say i'm glad this week's pretty much short and over, since I took a day's of MC. Fell sick and i think it was signal to chill, which I did. Saturday night was a crazy night (i don't know how i survived) but yes, i was thinking on and off till i went to bed, opened and closed my eyes. The thoughts still stayed.

still quite very sane now, but all now I wanna do is just take a break. tired from the week, tired from looking on the sidelines and trying to egg him on. like what i always hear people say "gek-sei-yan". ahahah you kind of get the point.

but i start to realise that humans are actually really intricate creatures. they could either be driven by emotions (fear, anger, hatred, love) or by the environment (bad economy -> survival). i don't know what drives you, but feeding the drive, maybe one of the things that are ever gonna be keeping you alive.

anyways, all i can say, one of the most vital ways to stay sane in this crazily changing world and environment is by ensuring that you spent more time being quiet and being reflective. It helps keep your mind and heart, beating to a constant same beat or tune. Miss a beat, and something's not right, find the source then. Cause from there on, the actions should tally to whatever the mind and heart is trying to say.

Being busy or acting busy are just mere excuses of hiding things under the carpet and refusing to either recognising that there is a problem to simply, trying to evade a problem. Sure, run away from it and the rubbish in the chute starts multiplying till it gets too much, you never know where or how to start clearing, you end up losing hope of living another day, with the beliefs that tomorrow will be a better day. why do that to yourself? I don't understand, so i guess this should be a kind of discipline, just like exercising, that if you ever want to have a beautiful and healthy body, go do some work out, no pain, no gain.

like what i keep hearing at work "everybody expects someone else to change, but no one realises that change starts from the person themselves', and whoever said that, that's my boss. LOL. Quit whining, stand up, rise up and face the problems, maybe they're arent' that big afterall. Thank God i'm still very much positive and sane thank you.