the need to slow down when you talk, to think before you speak, so the words that are formed will be fuller and contain the entire meaning of what your mind and thoughts has. Going through the beauty of forming the thoughts in your head and getting it communicated, where words become worlds and to realize the extensity as to how much power lies in the depth of our words.

I always felt led to write this entry out upon my return back to Singapore, I somehow, despite being back home for nearly about a month now, never got down to doing it and I think I finally feel like I can get down to doing this.

To all things, closure is an important process that one will have to go through after every new beginning and the closure to this entire East Timor reminds me again what He has been for me and what He will be for me in this transition period and time ahead.

For all those who popped by and have been reading the Timor entries, thank you for being faithful and I hope it has blessed you as much as your thoughts and prayers has been going out to me! I know I was covered well in prayers because I could sense the covering, and so I am ever grateful and thankful to you.

Of course, if you have experiences of how the entries have encouraged or inspired you or your thoughts in anyways, do leave your comments behind or simply email me @ pinyijoyce@gmail.com, will be happy to listen, share and be encouraged together:)

That aside, after all the hype and commotion with just how many are thrilled and excited over what I have done, as much as it has been such a fun trip on the outside, I must say that there were actually a lot of inner struggles and decisions that I had to go through on the inside. It won't be wise to say that I know and have the answers to all, but the entire journey and built up to this trip had a very strong emphasis on rooting and focusing myself on learning how to capture and know where His heart is and learning how to enjoy and join Him in what He is doing or inviting you to go on this journey with Him.

I have always been such a destination obsessed lover, that worked from the end in mind, while it all sounded good and far sighted, I had to go through some major calibrations to adjust my mindset, attitudes and values unto placing utmost importance and heart into getting used to processes.

Living in such fast paced societies and cities these days, we often end up going through the motions because half of the time we are trying to earn a living or just survive through our day to day activities that takes so much of us that leaves us spent and little left on anything else we would love to do.

We end up being like hamsters on a wheel, scurrying from day to day, trying to make it out alive, have a day where we will try to avoid tough and difficult situations and all we aim and do in life is to get by the day by having to get through the least hiccups, will sound like a good day to you. To just end off the day perfect and with an icing on the cake, is to either spent it all on yourself on the things that gives you the greatest pleasures that could range from having a good meal or attaining the next material possession or quality time with your family or loved ones, will makes it a great day.

I never quite understood why the heart of a matter, would matter so much but as I discovered and knew that He wanted me to know and discover the depths that laid in knowing the heart of the matter, grants me the greatest joys and pleasures when I discover what are the things that matters to Him, makes me happy as I find out more about Him - the things that mattered to Him, mattered to me and the things that matters to me, mattered to Him.

Through this process of renewal of transformation, I really can't say I am the same anymore only because of the way I carry myself in a manner now that when I used to think about it then, will only be something I will be working forwards to a near future coming by.

The reality of the impact and power upon meeting Him in an encounter that changes your life and not just on a one time mere visit, but one that reminds and draws you to focus on becoming that dwelling place where He can come and dwell and stay, because He is such an addiction.

Passion becomes the next natural expression of your life, because regardless of what you do, when everything you do is full of heart, that is where you find your propose and where you find the greatest meaning, satisfaction and joy!

When they all merge together in perfect symmetry, you will realize your design, how and why you were created in a certain manner and as you discover, realize what you were born to do. From then on, I believe you are pretty much set for life.

So find your heart and take heart, it doesn't matter where you are right now. and as you struggle along, I hope we will keep striving to find Him, I hope we will press into the things that He has placed in us, to find that voice inside of us that He has created in us each and individually, that we will learn how to carry ourselves the way we were created to be, not trying to be anyone else but ourselves, and be yourself and proud (if x-men believed in being mutants and proud), there is a song inside of us that we are supposed to sing.

Otherwise, learn how to enjoy the processes that we are going through that often doesn't seem to make sense or understand it all, choose to trust and obey and to keep persisting on the things that He has called you to.

After you have finished the period of refining, you know you can look back and wonder and be in awe of this grand weaver who has got it altogether, in perfect strokes, color and timing, all in perfect unison and harmony, and enjoy being captivated, awed and marveled by this awesome One.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."
2 Corinthians 3:18