It has been awhile, blogging has been off the radar for a long time - I can't imagine how much I used to blog but a preference to jot down my thoughts all on a book now. Just thought of leaving some thoughts down as the night winds down, today's weather has been rather hot.

In any cases, I've been thinking how fast time flies and it is May already. I have made some mental notes and things to start kicking off on the plans to Timor. Funny how humans are, you would think initially that the dateline you tend to have is quite faraway, and by the time it starts kicking in, oops, I'm in the second week of May and emails have been sent and I've really been thinking and deliberating what am I really going to do.

Just when I'm into my 5th month working in church and thinking you've learnt a whole lot, I see another thrust into another depths of waters. In comes what you would like to be doing there and the things to prepare before you head there and the list goes on, I get a wake up call again, ok, time to suit up and get ready for the leap and jump.

It is always another jump of faith just when you ever thought things has been going on good and smooth, here comes another one, another leap and jump to take. Each time the amount of faith taken to take the step, I can only say, increases and the only pillar and source of strength and encouragement, is to only do it if I hear it from Him. I know with every step that I take, it can't be something that I do in my own accord of will and strength, but one that requires every bit of Him and His fingerprints and promises in it.

Like every natural being's nature when they sense danger, you either stumble and fall or you either turn your back and run away and flee from the very thing you were made or born to. You either run towards it or you keep running away from it. As the water level arises up to my knees, I know I am to take the dive, to submerge myself into it. Of course, there is a choice, of pulling myself out of the water, stepping right out on to dry land again and be in my comfort zone again, for the very fear of my life and the struggles that I deem as impossible to conquer.

Regardless of the outcome, I know He is always beside me, so it would seem more fun to be in the water and experience something more different that what being on land does. I actually love the word of water - though my physical body tells me otherwise and from a fact that I do not swim, somewhere inside me tells me I'll love the water actually, once I get past the fear and learn how to swim.

Every single time I think of water, I'll remember Jesus walking on water and I will almost instinctively think of Peter -

"Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water".

So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out saying, "Lord, save me!".

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Matthew 14:28-31

I would imagine what it would have been if Peter had more faith and spent more time walking on the water, for it is the only one time you would hear of someone walking on the water, and what more, with the company of Jesus, hahaha. Maybe a round of catching, or perhaps a little twirl or walk down tour round the area and taking a different perspective and look at the lands ahead? The possibilities are endless!

And so here I am, as I start thinking and looking at what lies ahead, I love to go back to Him and ask Him what does He think, to hear Him, to be with Him and being with Him before I set out from that place again - for the greatest joy is not about what I do, but is in doing what He wills, that brings the greatest joy of journeying and being with Him.

So I sing - Lifehouse's Storm. I love listening to it at different times of my life, for it always bring another bout of emotions and perspective and take on the song that gives a different feel and flavor each time I listen to it.

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright