Dang~!! Blogging on notepad [which will tell you where i am now] again. oh darn. this flu of mine never seems to be leaving me. keeps coming off and on. i tell u. getting irriated. arhaar. but who's to blame except for my ownself. can't take care of my ownself ahhar. but aiyo. getting old. immunity level is getting low. damn. doesn't help with the flu and coughs bug is on everyone around, and we're all sharing the same air con unit, sharing that same sick. contaminated air. argh~. so darn helpless at times.

june's coming to a close soon and i can't help realising that time is really fleeting past me. and i'm getting cute. i know i wouldn't mind watching and catching the world cup fever but arhhaar. thinking about it watching wif that someone else. in the family. i get turned off one way or another. i don't know why. arhahra. no hatred feelings but i seem to be enjoying myself being in my own purple bedroom. taking up the 6 strings instrument and learn new stuff on it. its fun learning the Lifehouse - take it away probably learn Blind soon. its addicting aharhar. tried to play Iris the way Goo Goo dolls did. but you know what. you gotta get your guitar tuned to that specific abnormal way. arhahar. not gonna break my strings ahrhaar. so i gave up arhahar. Lifehouse shall do for now.

trying to learn more stuff so chord changing and hopefully my bar chords can improve and switch chord smoothly. ahhaar. there'll come this nice sound if its done well. arhahar. and get the strumming rite gurl =) playing alot more guitar arhahar. as compared to months before ahhara. there's a difference somewhere. arhahar. thanks to Glenda arhahra for teaching arhahar. the best of me for God arhhaar. whatever or whereever I am now aharhar.
EP rally is coming up ahrhaar. i'm hopeful. Hoping everything goes on well =) and when July 10th comes Coldplay arhhaar. everytime i think about it ahhaar. i feel kind of bad. arhahar. i got ticket to the gig thanks to Ashley + Wee. they got it for me. arhahar. awWw. its sweet but aharhar. its just expensive. =( but i'll just treat it as a way of rewarding ahrhaar. for getting past to coming 3 months of attachment arhhaar. and for overcoming the self doubt part of myself and start doing more for God. arhahar. breakthroughs. that's what i meant. first breakthrough came back after Cebu to come and learn to play better, in hopes of serving God one day. more breakthroughs to come =)

For learning the guitar was the last thing i ever wanted to do. I know strings instrument wasn't my forte but i heard a voice telling me. "Joyce, pick that up". I said "no. will never be able to learn it for nuts". cause when i was young, tried string instruments in CO back in primary school. couldn't get anywhere. arhahar. cause i had a believe. i need to see it to play it. arhhra. went on to the band and learnt something else. recorder. arhhar. everything that the recorder could do. arhhar. got bored. went on to the pianica. arhhaar. stopped music in secondary school. till the guitar came. arhhaar. played it for few months grew tired of it for never being able to play a decent song right. stopped. for some time. picked it up again when auntie Chris came to teach. Then stopped learning. ahhar. thinking knowing that mere 8 chords was all enough. only to realise there's so much more to learn after coming back from Cebu. Just when you thought you know the basics is not enough. arhar. that wasn't even basic man. arhhaar. that was mere necessities. arhhaar. somehow its getting off from here i suppose. anyways, its all for God now. arhhaar. though it looks like i play more circular music then worship songs ahrhaar.

Keep going. ahhar. maybe i'm just bored now after Korea got kicked out of the world cup ahrhaar. boringg. ahrhaar. cause this world cup thingy is getting so expected aharhar. *yawns. i think since 2000. its the last thing i dealt with soccer. arhaar. since Dennis Bergkamp retired ahrhaar. i think i've retired too aharhar. becoming such a frenzy mad place. arhahar. where oldies can't be in the game, cause soccer isn't just a mere game of 11 against 11. its more about putting players on for marketing purpose. to sell jerseys, meet advertisement deals. aharhar. good or no good. handsome and diamonds and woman and cars. arhhar. teams get better not cause of what they breed from the soccer academy but from imports and transfers. arhahar. its just a mere reflection of what is going on in the world too. awWw. so i guess i just ahrahar. quit watching. arhahar. dramas and indulge in my own fantasies where good triumphs over evil all over again arhhaar. =) living another day in this world. what's coming next. just a penny for my thoughts.

harhar. i'm still thankful for Friday arhahar. for meeting up wif Jojo + Splash and Flossie arhahar. it was a sharing session arhar least it is for me. arhhar. i think ppl see me in my usual jeans outfit for too long. arhaar. one time of business casual arhhaar. i look that different. arhahar. =) thank you.

[ps. i'm listening to soOo much more english songs nowadays. arhahar. but i still like the older ones not the new ones]

hmm. been visiting blogs arhhar. SoOo alone at work. arhhaa. no laughters from Winnie no funny squeaky EeeEe or Yucks from Lavonne Its empty omgosh! arhhaar. oh wells. soOo dearly missed by me. arhahar. maybe come tml will be my turn? arhahar. sense this flu flu coming. NoooO. Go away. arhrahar. anyways. these couple of days i seem to be sleeping alot more but apparently doesn't seem to be working. arhahar. was soOo late for work ytd cause mummy thought i was sick didn't call me up. arhhaar. i smashed the highest record. oh wells.

Has been so far so good. talking to alot of ppl arhhaar. msn-ing. whoops. arhhar. but yes getting to know what they're facing and sharing opinions and it all revolves round friends. i dunno but i've just coincidentally been sharing bout the same thing. how come ppl's all starting to realise that the friends they start calling can be rather fake and most of them all start drifting apart. really, honestly, nothing's wrong with the way you are =) all lovely ppl u are. just yes. my theory just goes that out of 10 ppl u meet. 8 be rotten but there'll be 2 arhhar. which u rather have then those 8. arahar. i wonder wad's up with the numbers game? More friends, more luck? [like the Visa Advert? more birds more luck?] probably gain you fame and riches but nothing more than just mere plastic relationships which doesn't go more than mere accquaintances. arhhar. but on the other hand, don't give up in finding those ppl u can lean on =) there's still nice ppl out there. wharhhar.

i'm just currently feeling blessed. for being "untouched" at work, arhahar. by Her she's scary but yes. i just pray everyday for God's grace and favour be on me. ahrhaar. helping everyone else is way nicer. but i suppose she was there to teach me what it is to be begging and praying really really hard everyday. arhhra. and talking to God more often aharhar. its another 5 more weeks to go. arhahar. fighting!! and to Internet Mummy har! Take car and enjoy urself out there with the beaches. i hope the weather's dry on some days and u can enjoy ahrharar. the beaches wif loads of mini white crabs. arhahar. white sand =) [i want a holiday too! cebu please =)]

Been playing back to powerpoint and paint. arhahar. to do wallpapers for my desktop. ahrhaar. apparently haven't been much active online at nite these days cause i seemingly seem to be too larthegic except keeping my eyes open to the teevee and pestering and playing sms wif my mom. arhahahar. she's really cute lar. sleep i can't seem to get enough of it. arhhra. seems like we are all so slp deprieved. i'll share my world cup team here yar. arhhar. i hope they get into the quarter finals, further or not doesn't matter. prove out there that it is the belief that is what keeps them going. work as a team and they'll prove their something. =) i really admire their never give up spirit. till 90 mins is up, before anything than that, its not all up yet. and try their stamina, you'll never beat them XD and arhar! Lee Chun Soo has grown up. finally, take the lead and stop being a whinner. arhahar. Lee Young Pyo covering the flanks and deciding to attack with crucial passes. Ahn Jung Hwan super sub comes on and adds live to second halves. i lurvee them all =) that's what i call team spirit. can you imagine wad's it like working in a team like that =) awesome stuff.

anyway, this is my current wallpaper. arhhaar. =) its from their nike ad. arhahar. cheers. gotta head back to work now that i've work assigned =) *fighting!!

and my current heh. interests. whahar. i like that smile. [they're all uploaded into my photobucket. username: pure_joy] =) cheers.

arhahar. i think i'm too free or what. it was something that sparked my interest in this topic. its preetty a no-no topic but you know me. interest sparked makes me go search more information about it. there was this poster "bi-sexual, trans-sexual, lesbians, we accept them all" its pretty debating. i know but it just sparked an outcry from me. I know yes, in a way we have to be compassionate and emphatatic about them, but its a thin line to it isn't that right. in this ever so wrong society, where the wrong can seem right and the right seems ever so wrong. call me traditional or what so ever i don't care. i don't care but i know these people need help. its not a laughing thing out there laughing at these people, making an entire joke out of them and doing nothing bout it. its called gender indentity disorder.
among all the illnesses, which can so called be cured, one of the world's other's deadliest illness out there. are a list of wholesome mental illness. you'll be suprised at how long the list can go. that makes it drawn a very thin line between being sane and insane. a thin line between being mentally healthy and times whereby one simply needs a doctor. arhahar. i wonder at times how many of these mental illness comes down to a point whereby it is not caused naturally but self infliced [okay, accept alzeihmers] but i think majority of it has got to do with how the mind thinks.
it is sad cause most of this people come from a dysfunctional home. home without a working father. without a fatherly figure and at it, doubt about their degree of femineness or masculinity. i wonder alot alot. arhahar. i start wondering why the self doubt. and i start seeing how much this freaking world needs a cornerstone. you see how much there is a need for God. That they start to see so much of doubts that clouds over their beliefs. when things don't seem to be working to what they want and when they turn away from the solutions provided they run and run and start hurting themselves so much. they try something different and get indulged in it and get sucked into that world of deception.
its even sadder if they head into pro gay theology. yes they find comfort there but is that right? argh* sad demoralising. i wished i could do something after reading one of my sec skool mates life. i suspected it but arhhar. till i read it today. more or less confirms it. to a point whereby Good guys are either dead, married, or gays arhahar.
ok anyways. weekends are coming. Mummy is gonna be soOo nice. arhhaar. She's cooking my favourite. Spagetthi Bolognese and mash potatoes. arhar. 2 cousins are probably coming over nite and tml's gonna be time spent together. i hope i squeeze in time for the esplanade wif Ashley let's go swoon on Joel. =) enjoy ur weekends cause they are so hard earned. 5 days of work and 2 days of play. no wonder God loves Sundays arhhaar. Kidding. But i adore weekends. 6 more weeks of attachment whoot. =) i just can't help being NOT being high. too high today. arhahar. high on laughters.a rhahar.

Honestly, arhhar. what will you do without NOTEPAD? DIE. i'm blogging in notepad on the office's comp so its not that obvious. arhhar. actually the funnest things around are the simplest things. that's why the saying goes "the simplest things of life tends to bring joy". [okay. that was my own intepretion.] but it went along that line. arhahar =) i made wallpapers in the office for my desktop arhhaar. with powerpoint and paint. arhhar. [as what i initially started off doing] the new batch of interns from NYP are in the house now. arhhar. Shuffs work to them. arhhara. no lar, don't even know if there's any over at my depart. oh wells.

The toughest of weeks are over i hope. =) long story. but i've been picked on over at work. i hope i don't get to see her ever again. can avoid avoid lar. ahhaar. she's scary. arharhar. well, she got mummy pretty mad. arhahra. mummy wanted to head down to office and give her a piece of her mind. arharhar. mummy was like my hero. arhhraar. but course she didn't. oh wells.

finished whatever I was supposed to be doing. arhhaar. so am sitting down. listening to radioblogclub.com listening to arhahar. stairways to heaven ost. i don't know how i got there. was searching for Jolin Tsai's "Le Yuan" and tada. walla. stairways to heaven ost played. and i thought of the memories i had at hang ten. arhahar. diao! i know. i don't mean to. but for a moment. my mind had the shop outlet of Hang Ten over at Clementi. There was me and Iskandar there. arhar. because stairways to heaven ost was full of instrumental, arhhar. arh. whack. i just wanted to play the cd in the shop. arhhar. i asked if he minded, cause it was in korean. erm. arhar. he said ok =) so yeapp. one whole album played. arhaar. i shut it after hearin my share. arhahar. but he taught me wayy lot. arhahar.

- how to determine which customers to serve for and get great sales
- be flexible in prices
- fold clothes. arhahar.! the techniques. i still do it today. and yes. everytime i fold a shirt, it sits there nicely. i think of him. arhhaar.
- life's moral values and share a picture of what we eventually want to do and be when we grow up.

awWw. stairways to heaven, i haven't playeed that cd for ages. i know it's somewhere. just gotta dig it all up again. arhahar. brings back alot of memories. oops. arhhaar. just felt like ranting it out. after visiting my buddiez's blogs. Jin Hui + Ling Li + "Dear" arhahar. their blog. all having their own stories. their pain. their joy. went around sms-ing to encourage them. arhahar. =) and if ya wondering who that dear is. its my cousin Kim Yee lar arhar. she's facing alot among all that laughters arhhaar. i see it. but arhhaar. i ask generally. to see if the doors are open for me to come in with permission to go further. but yes. she's been busy and term tests are coming up. have to wait for this weekend i think. i'll always be there, ahrhar. for all of you all lar. just come and chat if you all want [as much as i'm not online] arhahra. i maybe resting but phone's still there.

i just have this wannabe feeling. arhhra. i wanna be like Chris Martin singing. playing both the guitars and keyboard. arharhar. he's awesome. and his vocal range. and i love them Live. wooow. arhhaar. i know when i was younger. i didn't like Coldplay a single bit. found them weird. and now. 4-5 years down the road and i'm loving them. ahahar. its ironic how many times i can say, i used to dislike something. i end up loving them the next bit. aharhar.

been thinking about myself seeing myself in the next few years. i have plans bout taking up digital media. but i asked last night. mummy doesn't seem at all warm or receptive to the idea. "i waste so much of money leh". i was like "oh no". i know i don't wanna be doing what i am doing now. simple good money yes i know, but i don't like the confined idea. its stable. but doh. i don't like it. arhhara. i don't want seeing myself opening Microsoft's application and email all day long. that's definitely not life. i think i'll just think of heading in to teaching if all's not gonna be working. i suppose my parents will only pay if i carry on doing what i'm doing now. its ironic. how you want to study but sometimes, just don't want to study anymore, if its nothing that i wanna do. *sigh* times life's so full of ironics. the irony of things. how ironic i can be. duh. i'm lame.

anyways, you guys all hold on!! I lurvee you all. Don't give up easily, or you'll be sorry for yourself. *fighting*