omg. pls save me. its 1038am. i've been coming in at 0930am++ while work starts at 0900am. i prefer that 30 mins more of slp. i'm soo sleepy.
i'll go home and load the video of cute Jarrett up, with my ang mo ascented chinese. i really never realised it despite vanessa and janna's saying, "aey, joyce u sound like lee hong they all. got ang mo chiang". i now wonder if that's good or bad but i think it's more biao zhun now then last time when i couldn't even speak decent chinese HAHAHA. well thanks to ppl like Vanessa, Janna, Jin Hui, Ling Li and Hwee Boon, i can decently converse now la hor =)
anyways, i'm cracking my brains on what to wear for tomorrow's pastor edwins + sharons' wedding. i dont wanna look like a slop yet i'm thinking of staying away from khakis and black pants for they remind me of my work outfit. i'm getting bored of the office look ahaha. i miss my teeshirt and jeans outfits. :( damn. what to wear. *pouts. prolly go look around for a new top and dress it up with that pair of grey skinny jeans.
fancy blogging whilst at work. thank God for notepads. HAHAHAA. terrible me. oh its friday, more private time tonight. and i repeat, working adults seriously ain't got much private time to themselves. how terrible. how sad. the best times are seriously when you study. =) gtg for now. continue when i get home? HAHA.
and did i say, i'm selling the electric guitar set. guitar is more or less done. amp bit more work. and the ipod mini. i've gotten myself the second hand (once again).. IPOD video. heh. 30gb for all ur music needs. looks ok only not the newest. and i dropped it. ytd. :( butter fingers. ahaha heere's more addition to the scratches. but oh wells. cheap cheap. chirp chirp.

i think the people at tvb are geniuses at marketing. and so are the people over at Japan and at Korea. The leading marketers. Like what i heard a colleague at the company i'm working for at temp, he said this line and it goes. "you want to confuse companies, get lawyers." "you want to confuse consumers, get the mar comm people". i totally agree. so funny. :)

anyways, all i can say my eyes is equivalent to 2 single lines drawn across my face. a day of work, and 4 hours back to back of tvb dramas. tvb dramas makes me dream. it dares you really to dream. and takes the limits and questions "what are you dreaming" and why aren't you challenged to dream. its interesting. the way they film their shows, yes predictable you can all say. but what is the thing that keeps drawing me to watch it, its the way they work. the way they unfold and tell the story, the way they film it, the style, the dialogue and the final backend and frontend people to pull the whole show off. from the camera fan to the crew to the acting people.

its only when i got older do i start seeing more things that i haven't seen in my previous days cause i confined my viewing habits to what i wanna see. or think that its good. i never gave chinese shows a run, esp tvb. cause back then, i cannot understand it. now that when i do learn to understand, i'm hooked. the good old heart warming tangling and wrenching shows. keeps me so entertained. it keeps me thinking.

watching //always ready + drive of live// makes me dream. it makes me wonder what do i want to do in the next couple of years. just like yesterday, when i was getting my cervical cancer prevention jab. Dr Cheng was talking all about marketers. like its actually the most lucrative jobs and stuff how some ppl are just made for the job and all. and the boss Mr William Phua ahaha who interviewed me yesterday before giving me the job.

when you've been through the roughest and being tested when you're made to work day and night, i tell you. i appreciate the good people in the office, or at least a lovely people to work under with. i don't mind working or serving people, when people are someone you can approach to ask when you're in doubt, yes do all the work. zero lamentations. its a lovely environment, but i'm only a temp as it is labelled over my forehead. one that comes and go, but i like it at times, like "super-sub" come on bring some energy and leave. *shrugs. help what you can and leave.

that's life. drive of life is goood. omg, MIu Kiu Wai is a hopeless fellow in there. well done, i'm bit bored of his oh-so-abled roles. i think its one of those hopeless to a somebody. and Bowie Lam in Always Ready. awesome awesome. finished always ready, watching Bowie and Jacky, the little boy never fails to tugs the strings of my heart. its sooo loving. papa and son love. see already also can wanna cry. omg.

as i think the shows speaks when you yourself at that very nook and corner has that little desire or need :) its a good time to be alone now, as in real alone. i'm not lamenting but being grateful for this period of time that is given, that i think both of us while he is in the midst of his army, faces whatsoever that lies ahead of him, i myself can give myself a good thought to what i wanna do in time to come. :)

i realise i prolly do miss the boy. cause i would be lying if i claim i don't. (that carol says: "you miss is already an achievement" ahaha. i must be terrible!) but more than that, its the time we indulge in each other just chatting about going-ons hours once at a time face to face weekly, ahaha that'll be very very long. i miss that chats. the company of just sitting sharing. under the stars

hahaha. things doesn't allow much of that now, but i suppose we both take it with a pinch of salt. and the sms exchange and prompt replies we can have, just simple things like that that though we both don't meet up ahaha, it feels nearby that's been taken so easily like a everyday thing. that now, quietness brings a whole new meaning. :)

the irony that both of us tries when we meet to catch up or something or least do something more for each other to make up for the lost time but i suppose, i grapple with the fact that there's only so much i can do for him, and all i can do is either to sit and listen or just really, tuck him to bed. cause rest for him is what i think does best for him. how limited in the things we can do, but none the less, in what we can do, make the most out of it. and that's my love being for now. hahaha. i realise i can be quite a perfectionist too huh. suprise suprise. but i adore the simplicity despite the ironies in the difficulties that seem to blind or grey it, when you do learn to sort the logic behind and understand things, i make do with what i can do! ahahah.

absence makes you see the things you don't see. that when you step back and look at it from a distance, you see a different beauty. and i suppose that's the reason why i love pictures, and photo taking. the stopping, grab your camera, the angle, what catches your eye and how you want to capture it for keepsake's purpose to remind you.

work's a cover, hahhaa. yes, to earn the money, but to kill the time so that my mind is kept busy, on its toes and keep thinking! learn new things, study new things, and OBSERVE PEOPLE. i haven't had the opportunity to sit down and watch the world go by me, but now that i do whenever i can, oh my. its such a damn luxury.

more than that, all i can say, i'm yearning for the chance to feel small all over again. be it just being alone in my own world, laying on a patch of green bugless grass. watch the skies and clouds float me by. rain falling on me. something, i need that touch from above or something to make me feel small. i want to feel small. so i can be reminded of the goodness that do exists in this world that seems so small and self centered or depressing or something. ahhaa, i'm tired of same things, i want to break away from this thing.

now the time i feel small, is whenever i go to sleep, before i sleep to the time i wake up in my bed. i feel small!!! hahah. small to trust in the upcoming things to do ahead of you, before you start up your day. and small when i learn to think of the happenings of the day.

and its time to wash up and change after i hit the "post" button. my eyes are shutting. my thoughts my rambles. oh fly me off somewhere. the backpacking fever is hitting me. and paul baloche is singing to me. "praise adonai". lovely. not to bad first day of work. fly my ass out of this place. oh hk. till then. :)

talking to keith makes me smooth calm down. I TELL YOU NO MATTER HOW TIRED I AM. I WILL SAY THIS AND BLOG THIS LINE. YOU totally disgusted me today. i can't believe how you blatantly forgot everything and never mind. as though the thought of calling to check and assure we had plans to meet.

actually the whole problem is When You're in Your CAMP. when you made the call to say all your WEI DA plans, of eating at your AH Ma's place, cool. DON'T EVER ADD on the stupid fact that you're so damn sure like the first thing after that you'll be doing is coming over. "anyway after 2 weeks i'll be too tired to do anything i want to sleep. you can study i won't disturb you, you can study". GONG DAI WA.

haha. in all, blardie don't say things you cannot fulfill. i never take knife point at you to "OH THE FIRST PERSON YOU COME OUT MUST SEE ME AFTER YOUR PARENTS" I NEVER. He insisted lo. and i'm bearing the brunt of everything now. so unfair!! i hate it. when i already said ITS OK. never mind, and yar someone just blatantly found and made a appointment with his buddies. HAHAA.

and the stupid woman who spent an hour after hitting her books, to search for the things to probably give him, to congratulate him on making his 2 weeks. its ok. the stupid woman me, just bothered to do too much. like Janna said. ITCHY. ahaha yar itchy see what i got myself into. you know what. I DON"T CARE ANYMORE. damn du lan. care too little ppl complain ppl say me. do little surprises also buay sai wor. SO SAI LA. and maybe God knew THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. HOW ANNOYING. at the end of the day, there's still things for him in my bag though not in the planned little surprise i was gonna do. I don't know why i bother to be so sweet to him leh, cause i think he's sweet mah. then i kena. i should be nicer to my mummy. and to everybody else hor. no wonder why mummy always say "yar next time got boyfriend sure different" i must pao the longan cha for mummy. HEE HEE HEE. :) next week next week. so paiseh. never do surprise for her. ahahhaa.

anyways, yay thank you Janna for companying me go Giordano buy the pants. from Great World zhao go Orchard. Taka, the outlet was. urh under renovation. had to walk to Wisma, the giordano changed to Giordano concept. KaO high end. (ahaha so funny. 90 bucks for a pair of sneakers, what makes them think ppl won't splurge on higher ends shoes to nike dunks. i shall splurge on... a high end lacost. or get that rockport shoe!!! hee hee hee. thank God for PEOPLE online. talking to them to calm my nerves. i lost my appetite to eat. angry and tired till fan wei ahaha. yays to jayson and shamin :)

i wish i had my own mode of transport scoot down to the pool centre and pak pool. now too late le bball cannot see. i wanna throw something literally ahhaa. aim shoot. shiok. but can only dream ahaha. think.

*exhales. not the best of days actually. wednesday 's org. beh. paper. today's or rather yesterday (since its past 12am) was market research. i screwed myself. i think. that would have meant bout 10 marks round . gone. poof i don't know how well i'm gonna do man, this exams seems rusty man. or rubbish i just think i need something. something to spruce me up. i'm seem to be floating in mediocrity. not good. every paper i come out ahaha, i feel that feeling. ooh-oooh *hands over mouth. or am i a mediocre person all along? *scratch head. probably. ahaha. come on baby, bring home the credits. then again, oh pass pass pass all the papers. i ain't going back and do it the second time baby. NOOO. oww, i just pray hard. hard harder hardest. yeap. gets quite demoralising eh. sigh rabbit* but i'll need to pick up and move on along. "oh go on, dangs a carrot in front of me* yeah move along. your ass. pick it up.

which would have mean if i picked myself up earlier ahaha i should have mugged just now after the paper. but chose to have a meal of xiao long bao, my first time. and i kept saying yi hu. while it's supposed to be yi long. time and time again. dang my head is not registering. ate it, yummy. but my noodles ain't at all nice. ewk. i hate trying exotic food its not that yummy. but oh wells.

sleep my ewk day off. and start afresh. hwaiting. and some pictures to laugh at. yes that's me. and that's me below. who plays captain ping pong ball and has pose like pushing up my glasses? and thats joyce meets joyce. i think i'm disappearing the world's saying i've slimmed somemore. omg. to a point "am i?" i'm not anaroxic for i eat. and i ate loads of pork meat and sam-zhum bak. HOO. i'm hungry. :(

ahaha. i'm crazy. i just spend my time actually perpetually listening to music on my pod, sitting out at the balcony on the platform viewing the night new outside my room. watching tv, visiting all my mates blogs ahha viewing pictures on friendster. ahaha.

here's what i found. alot of the guys i knew back at sec skool ahha, actually look sort of whoa much more u know, man-er in some ways la, ahaha. to say they look better now, fatten up, all tanned and fit. ahaha, phase 1 of looking at their best at one part of their life. they can choose to maintain it, or stand to lose it and look like a far cry from their "outstanding" army days ;) they have fattened up and muscled up, and tanned up hoo hoo. goo goo, and how they go from chao recruit to private XXX. ahaha cute. :)

anyways i'm so reluctant to start my mugging all over. just the thought of it bores me over but i know i have to get my ass moving. bo si gan liao.

anyways, so much so for reluctance. the boy gave me a ring today. ahaa the 2nd within our uber quiet span of day 6. ahaha. of the 7 weeks of BMT training ahaha. rather funny and he says i sound different. which actually i don't think so ahaha. he sounds different! first call sounded whoa, all so preped up boyish fun rearing to go. ahaha. and day 6, ahaha he sounds bit tired but still bubbly ahaha. i haven't heard him bubbly in ages. kind of cute :) ahaha, he's not been bubbly lately with his oh-so-dead lifestyle before he went in. ahaha. now that there's things to do, i suppose he's feeling useful, having things to do, fun, interaction and learning things, he sounds bubblier ahaha, how interesting.

i sound the same why? ahaha, BECAUSE i've been schooling and life has been like that for me since God knows when ahaha. maybe when i start working i'll have a little difference to the way i sound. but i think i only sound lame and bubbly with the bunch ahaha of people who has seen me in my craziest worm mode. HAHAHA. :)

oh wells, i think books are driving me crazy and i've yet eaten. Aiyee. i don't wanna study. *pouts but i know i have to. aiyee. BORING. BORING. BORING. reading blogs was quite fun especially those tvb stars. ahaha bowie lam, michael miu, bosco wong, and tavia yeung. cute :) all the scenic pictures in their daily activities. sigh. i'm dreaming of my full boy kit of a nikon dslr and lens. somehow i prefer it to a canon and i don't know why. maybe its the looks and the feel? i don't know. i personally love nikon. i'm dreaming baby. and my trip to hk. yeah baby.

and the boy asked "will you be coming for my my last day (POP)?" ahaha he asked it in such a cute boyish manner i couldn't have the heart to say no can i? ahaha. he's cute. i laughed and laughed and laughed. i think he must be wondering i'm laughing cause i'm thinking. but ahaha i was laughing at the manner he asked. HAHA he's never asked for something like that (or did he) yar. i will go there and be the photographer for the day. but thinking of heading along with his parents, and ppl does make me get the jitters, i'm so shy not up for things like that. but what the heck, boy's happy rite. it'll be fun too i think ahaha.

and 2 weeks of confinement on the rock he's coming out on the 7th and asked once again if i'm picking him up at the jetty. HAHAHA YESS!! i can say no. its at pasir ris, aiyee. 2. i'm having a paper tml on the 7th itself HAHA oh so spared. ahaha. that i don't need to be a meanie if i turn him down. but then sooo. POP cannot be missed right? ahaha. yar when i'm on holidays its a why not :) army antics. crazily funny. ahhaa. have fun ah boy. HAHAHA. i'm sleeping with my da tou in my lavender room on my pink sheets. HAH! nice and comfy. =p life. whaha. mum mum time and mug. *sigh. not comforting. ahaha i'm so tired of chinese 933fm due to the fact i've been listening to it mostly bout daily. for the past month. hoo. i need a change. its a switch to english again. hoo quick buy 4D. ahaha but its class 95. brings back memories. of childhood, growing up period. *snuggles. jia you to all peeps preparing what O/A levels la. carol + keith (ahaha scandalous.) that's all i can rmb. ahaha. and to van, hui, jan, ling li, winnie, =) mug finish go play. i wanna play some tunes on the guit but got no idea what songs to play. ahaha. i need new songs. anyone? :)

i'm out.