i have to leave these thoughts somewhere. my brains and hands are tired so maybe it takes less effort to actually hold a pen and write to concentrate on holding the pen and writing on a straight line and just reach for the keyboard and just type. it is a luxury with a personal computer to do what you want, when you want and at the comfort of my lavender room.

i'm sneezing and wheezing like nuts since 10pm. and its coming back to haunt me. but whatevers. life still goes on, the notes will still have to be read and the readings have to be continued to be read and i will have to continue to study.

i just wanna say that many a times, maybe we see this thing to be something we really like. and we really want it. so alright, we work really hard and try all our means to get that thing that we really like (in this scenario literally it was a bag). i wanted this particular model of bag. course there's a reason behind it, i believe in having that bag suit me, and not the other way round. means i will require my wardrobe, and ensure i have the clothes to suit that bag, so i'll feel safe having and owning and carrying a bag that will meet my everyday casuals.

i voiced out my likes to my darling mom. since God knows when, and the people around me might have heard me nagging. i really love that agnes b voyage bag and it has to be that classic series. ahaha. i fell in love with it at first sight since i was in hong kong. and still love it till i returned and still love it =) apparently somehow, despite showing the pictures to my mom, she got a different model of the bag.

she told me first. honestly in all my days, i yearned for it for some 5 months. well not that i was certain i'll be having one. (who in the world's gonna provide me with the money?) ahahah. and most of the time i was considering on my own to get it lah, (like why bother people, go get it yourself) ahaha. mom volunteered to get it for me somehow so i really was like feeling like some elated 5 year old kid approaching my birthday, mom's gonna get it for me. GET THAT THING FOR ME ahaha.

felt my heart broke when she said she bought another model. (it still does now, but not as much, i'm living with it). cause 1. apparently she said she changed it once so no more changing of bags. 2. she utterly dissed the model that i soo loved. she's paying for it. 3. just take it. well not that i don't like the model she eventually got, but its a wee bit too over for me, being wee bit formal and it needs me to adjust to the baggie. (it works the other way round not this way. and I HATE IT. ahahaa) Fashions always that way hey, the clothes suit me not the other please. and this is my way and attitude and style, hard to conceive but it took me 30 mins to quieten down after my mom broke the news to me. i was silent. sad. thinking.

course she did offer "you like the other one so much get it lo. i use this one" and i felt she don't really like agnus b. (mean why would she ahahaa its not her range and style, she's more up market k thanks. when she have so many other BETTER alternatives in her closet). i said "no there's no need". and there you go this marketing student who's been reading her notes trying to basically explain product differentiation to my mom. like how the product differed and why i chose Agnus B. LOL. cause it's me kekee. but i think after going one whole round she prolly doesn't get much. but anyways i just wanted her to know and get it off my chest.

"i upgrade you mah" she went. yeah k thanks, i was asking myself "yeah with the extra monies paid, why am i still sulking" ahahaa. i just have to get past the factor of. "hi joyce, your beloved Agnus B is sitting there. and i can't use it." 1. my outfit is just to lah sup to go with that baggie. 2. i'm seriously not used to a slightly formalised bag. 3. maybe you could just wait till i work full time (Like WHATTTT? NOWWW!!) ahahaa.

in all i just got over it. and live with it. (though i may still be learning). i just wanna say maybe at times things may ain't to be what you want, to go to what exactly you want. and an alternative might be shown to you to see things and accept things from another way, it could be a better way in a sense if nothing much is lost.

i mean if i were to look at it in a better sense (definitely not self consolation), i got the big idea of getting that Agnus B bag (if i profess to love the brand) ahahaa. then it shouldn't be a problem anymore. ahaha. (think long term -> formal attire -> SO IDEAL FOR WORK -> Smile.) yeah i try to think of it that way maybe it really isn't that bad. ahaha. get over it joyce! i think i did its just a damn bag. aaha.

so it all depends which side you wanna look from it. if it pleases my mom. ok! it pleases myself (hi. i'm an Agnus B bag). so everyone's happy. and i should be. so its still thank you mummy. ahahha! and thank God for the provision and the so whatevers that took place in the shop it was embarrassing ahaha.

its been a long long time since i'm so full of thanksgiving but to feel this feeling. i'm very thankful. thanks to this little girl. called ah bi.

looking at her sit around, hold my hand with her tiny hands, she pulls me around ahaha. and asks such sweet questions that warms your heart "joyce jie jie, you coming to our home?" i don't know how to tell her i initially wasn't going to her place, but thank God for her parents ahaha aunty carol + uncle henry. she's really the only kid i have 100% pure fun, i laugh and giggle and get amused at her every single time, i bother to get pushed around by her. one i bother to go distances of bothering to explain things, talk in her lingo, ahahaa. bend and listen to what's she's gotta say. cause every thing bout her amuses the life out of me ahhaha.

see her play with duplo reminds me of myself, we played together, ahaha explaining to her, that her toy has this mouth on the wheel, ahaha cause its bob the builder edition i had such fun looking at her stash of treasures to what kirstie said. she's so proud of it, a sparky lover and a barney lover, and her green smelly toy and her banana ahaha. grrr. miss her cute antics. she's known as the polka dotted pyjamas princess. she just loves princesses. ahaha, her smile, her giggles, i'm giggling on my own ahaha and finding joy in her as i carry on doing my mundane process of mugging soon.

i was sooo tired today. zombiefied. but i thank God. Bak Tut came down i can't tell u how much i miss her. i miss her presence, our sweet lovings ahaha her mentoring. after some 1 year, yes i finally meet her after all the talkings on the phone. she got me my birthday presence, and cooked my favourite soup. it made me very very happy, just sitting down hugging her ahaha. =) so thankful of today.

chitter chatter and she realises that my house haven't changed any one bits since she left 5 years ago, and yeap, ahaha and she reminds me "don't get easily angered ah" and i'm remembered bout myself. reaffirming each other i'm cooler now, she takes things much easier now. times do change a person i guess =)

chatting with darius after that, the first time he accepted a theory example that well. maybe he'll find new courage to face the struggles he face and find a way to accept criticism from this harsh world he is in. if you don't even bother to attempt to try, you will never know. criticism is a spur for self improvement, not a mere outlet for ppl to push you around. and i always believe criticism brings out a fella's character. it breeds character.

oh oh i have to write this. anyone knows how happy i am playing the armani range of guitar. the taylors. thanks to uncle henry's stash of toys. playing alongside with him leading, and the team, consuming fire has to be the highlight, where joyce foo, me, clare and ruel goes "lets play the bridge" it has to be either one of us wanting to feel this God high, and the first time the desire to try new stuff. its great man. i really had one of a high high worship. and uncle henry's right, we ended right HAHAHAHA, a big laugh for my bloop ahaha. =) thank you thank you to the team and to uncle henry and to all who made it all possible, to our God we all so love. great sunday, great weekend, i'm high and rolling over with christian radio. ahhaa and i found another love. "once again" - matt redman ahaha. yummy =D

and some lovable pictures of ah bi! courtesy of jessica.ho. heh =D i love every single piece of these shots. i have more but just some of them. =D


i love this pic lots and lots and i feel so xing fu ahahah. i'm mad =D

ok march's over. april is in. and soon it'll be mid april in this ever so crazy mad world. that is spinning one day and a day just slips you by, and just what have you done. all i'm glad and i can give all the thanksgiving in my life for, working with people especially older guys can be such a frigging chore it wastes and takes the living daylights out of you. its over. thank God. almost over, and come thursday when service quality's presentation is over, its time to wind down the curtains and raise up the flags to tell the whole world you're at war with the books. and come 8th may, everything's over again. this life is such a mundane chore. and a cycle that the only thing that can be happening that is lovely and nice, is watching the simplistic things that are happening. like take for today, the little kids running around the playground at true way pres kindergarden's playground, the tots in their yellow outfits, i used to be like them!

play time was on bicycles on 4 wheels, holding a bucket, filling it up with water, and we'll run to the pillars and paint it over with a brush dipped in water, to see the gloss and as kids, you get the entire thrill of it. police and teeth on the playground. to think back on my entire growing up years, i'm the person who don't fit in groups, or rather i take a long time to fit into 1 group, cause i'm a personal person. and i'll leave school with that handful of friends. ahaha. and talk bout the same ppl over and over again.

social misfit probably, can live with it. bo chup bout the world, but chup everything on this bunch ppl who have made me know that i am warm on the inside. i never believed in it, ahhaa till yes in secondary school. the bunch and this bunch and a list of names into it. that's why i do develop quite funny relationships with some from time to time, ahahaa and especially if its of a person of an opposite sex. too shou can become a topic but its just realliy, similar.

to whatever it is, i'm always thankful for this bunch of people. i totally agree with what dear winnie says. ppl come and go. people do change with time, but to take heed in the times that was once shared amongst the people, is always good enough. it goes it goes, it doesn't last, i guess somehow some other things might happen and you find another piece of gold along the way.

i think this walk of life is tiring alot of people i love around me. don't worry, you're normal. its the same over here with me too. and you and to the many out there. cause it can't get any mundane as we are and maybe its the stupid cycle of march-april. that 1/4 of the world is passing by and urgency might start hitting our goon heads, and we start realising the stupid cycle. and the obstacles facing us seems so hard to get by. seems impossible. but have i told u i prefer adidas to nike. cause the tagline works better. impossible is nothing. exams are coming up, another semester to an end.

as i was walking home today from a change of environment and cycle of my room and laptop (i love to break them) ahaha. i was at my cousins. giggling doing my crazee antics of my stuff toy animating, voice overs, rolling around with their 3 mattresses rolled into one, i reminiscence the times when we're young, and i get it at their house ahaha. less laptop, more cable. (i lost touch with tv God knows when), i still love them, and i'm dying to finish my air city. dramas makes u feel, have emotions and feel and think for the character that least helps you understand and feel some situation and feel for others better. cry if its a release of this world's stress, dream and fantasize for a moment of the sweetest thing that can happen. we're afterall humans, well i think dramas beats gaming, with the real emotional factor in it. or maybe its a girls thing, but guys should find a drama they like. content vultures or emotional vultures (*winks. yes dub2. i hear ye *giggles. we can be sooo similar from time to time yet so different ahaha).

i'm dying to get my butt into gramaphone, to get MUSE's HAARP album. ITS SMASHING. i'm in love with them, i mean their hits are all over the place in their discography. heh, its all brought into one in an album, in this crazy world, music just becomes a necessity, and it means good music. i heart muse. they're alternative, strange. spacey. but i like. i can't wait to get my hands on it, and the joy of bringing a cd home is back, ahaha 1 month 1? kekeke. one republic was last months'. ahh. hold on people. missing the people around. :) tuck in and hugs my mario + da tou. and the room i love. its nice. hee hee. oh and i have to say. i got complimented. ahahha. haven't received soo many compliments in 2 days, take it and makes me smile. thank you.