To the bunch of 2E2's to Hendersonians, many of you will remember Third Place. Don't know how many of you do, but i still do. And i hold it closely to my heart, with the hours we spent in there, learning how to play pool from the boys, buy a can of root beer over the counter @ $1, then the lovely lightings and sofas and couches and the stage! The hang out and the place to chill after classes and, a place me and Janna went to mug during our O's HAHAHAH.

Its got a great sound system but pathetically, back then I just wasn't into music that much yet, couldn't play any instrument while i remembered uncle jamie playing the bass, teaching students the angles to the game of pool.

SOOOO MANY YEARS have gone by i still do remember Unlce Jamie, many a times when i pass by the place i do think about dropping in and catch how's the cool dude doing. But it seems like the place is either gone now i think. I still have his mobile phone number in my phone, ahhaha funnily.

So then today, this same man who hunged out with us was in a musical today. I was like "where have i seen this man?" For he seemed far too familar, his ascent, the way he stood, the hairdo. Then it dawned unto me, "uncle jamie!!!" ahahah, yes dudes, this guy sings with all the vibratos, and harmonises well with the rest of the crew in today's "The Promise". He made my jaw dropped in the opening 15 minutes, too impressed with him, i was like "eh when was he a presbyerian?" AHAHAHHA!

So mid way through the show i just texted him to test my luck if he still had the same number, which i didn't get a reply till i left the UCC ahah! And hold and behold, Aunty Chris + Gan paps knows him! This world seriously can't get any smaller and he's pretty closely related to gan-paps. Never expected to meet him face to face, but i just took the chance to just say hi.

"hi, did you any chance used to hang around at third place long time ago?"

"yes"

"uncle jamie?"

"YESS~"

Ahahahah, it was so comforting to know it was him and i'm sooo surpised he does remember my face. (The delinquent) LOL! Yeah with my strange hairdo he was saying and how i've grown up. Ahaha, feels so funny! It was such a small world honestly speaking but its good, just seeing him doing well after so long and still being the cool dude cause he hangs out easily with the young people still really well. 过然没有矢手.

So that was just today's entry and all i ever wanted to say, was meeting uncle jamie after so long! =) thankful for the chance to just say hi, and reliving those good old after school days. ahhh. if it could have changed a little, i just wished i was on the guitar earlier, and we could be singing all together, at the third place. Little campfire feel. Ahhh. Lovely, and i miss the good old school days. My geeky hair, my glasses, my big baggy skirt, big blouse, red tie, mushroom shoes, low low, jack wolfskin backpack, worn real low to my butt. Taking 176 daily, it was only yesterday. Grr. =)

Leaving for Hong Kong, Janna was so sweet to have text. Gonna have fun like what Jacob says :) I'll miss you, silly ASSORTED DONUTS. Ahahha, looking at Grebit makes me think of you all the time.

And Jacob asked a very good question "why you so shy talking bout him?". Ahaha, i'm shy, cause its just him, and yah. Him lo, the one that makes me blush. Its embarrassing really, as in talking bout him will make me blush =X I don't know why, so i'll try to act really cool bout it, but i'm blushing all over. AHAHHA, so no one will really catch me in the act? LIke get him talked over done quickly, just showing all the left over expressions just really makes me wanna hide my face. I look silly! heh. So pretending you don't care really is the best cover. ahahaha!

Really like a 16 year old in love. Yeah, i guess somethings never change!

ok meanwhile while i upload some old pictures on facebook (i'm too free) ahahaa, and since the upload function was pretty useful.

just being quiet now, after spending a massive weekend (weekends have been so much more happening as compared to my weekdays). With Burning Bush on Friday, Sharity Preparations on Saturday, Sunday was the real thing on Sharity.

Its been a blast on Saturday, was so much fun, jamming with shaun + chass + vin + myself. Its the most memorable times, with 4 acoustic guitars, just worshipping God. Sensing God's presence in our midst as we lifted our praises and voices. The harmony, the combination was such a blast, and such a pleasant, sweet tone that was so God-high, you could feel and touch God. Thank You Jesus!

To have more of those sessions would be a plus plus plus. And the sharity session on Sunday, ahaha, i look so CHUI in the pictures, but i was seriously tired but it was worth every bit of concentration, playing and pressing of frets.

For all the music that was played, I just was thankful of being able to sense God's presence and peace once again, something so subtle yet so important to me. Then the night was spent at Chass's place, muahhaha, doing a cover, in front of her macbook. It really makes a mac so desirable, thinking of all the usage it has =)

Then spent the night at a room of my own, spending some time quietly reading the word of the Lord, just enjoying the windy breeze coming from the windows, really lovely, and chit chatting with the girls! It was really fun.

And finally today! Pure nua-ing with Sam at Chass's place. Ahaha, with meals and showers and tv and internet all provided. We just slacked with the owner of the house out. Playing Wii and yay, look at the Mii character I came out with, while Sam helped pointed the control to the screen (i honestly can't do that, like the controller doesn't respond to me? =/ ) Heh.


Shaun came too! Had teochew muay together, (oh my favourite) which is real yummy and fun, just sharing a table and having a meal together, with coffee treat later and chit chats again. Its been really lovely! With Shaun's antics. Its like seriously hilarious!

And a pic of the beloved Pooh bear =D

This feeling of me stucked at crossroads all over again, isn't something new. 1.5 years ago, i was going through this, the feeling of hope, to the feeling of disappointing, to picking myself up and running again, to persevering, to reaching the end. I probably got there (that's if all goes well). An end marks the beginning of another start. Life. Countless of them.

I spent 2 weeks hiding and immersing myself into a behaviour of an utter child like-ness i believe none saw. Immeresed in my little handheld games, that brought back memories of me as a child. I love rpg, i love the cute graphics, running around, levelling up, storyline games. In the end, as usual, i got stuck, left it there. Picked up music and rhythm games, got stuck ahaha. It was like, crap, i couldn't run anymore. Ahahaha. The games lost its little security and fun and wasn't all that addictive anymore.

But through it all, it is me in the making and working in reacting to the happenings around me. It started off okay the moment the exams ended, just intended to just kick back and enjoy before dumping yourself into the countless cycle of the working life. It is not fun. But not as if you have a choice to the working life, but the only saving grace and choice, that would make working life feel better, is in deciding which job you'll be putting your hours into.

But mid way through the kick back fun, i believe the realisation of responsiblities and being a "grown-up" to least face them and take it in a graceful manner should be the way to go. Then someone comes in with a series of remarks that made you feel as guility as charged, needless of any defence, you're charged.

I took it for it wasn't anything new, and much less, not very much unexpected. The hardest point is that after living for 21 years, i doubt she's understanding me pretty much. And suprisingly, during the downest of moments, i woke up with a call from indri, how lovely. I was still sloppy and sleepy, chatted for a brief moment to catch up what each other is doing. She's been sick for about 4 times over and over, i guess. And i was just saying how i'm done with school. This time round, i guess both of us are down but we could still say we care bout each other. Her phone call was pretty comforting enough.

This is one of the hardest debate i'm trying to convince myself and her. Or least express it, which i'm not at all confident. Pleasing others vs Heading out there for your heart desires. I thought i've faced it, and have all figured out i can do it. Only to meet with a stumble and fall, that maybe i haven't quite got that part out.

In all due honesty, all i've ever learnt in my life was living for others, that i've been wired to do it, cause it was just easier. I wasn't happy doing it, it was joy for me. Or probably what joy was made up of, helping others so much that when the spotlight turns and lights at me, i'm lost for words as to what i want to do. Or probably i already have the answers to what i want to do, but i lack the supernatural courage to do it. And i have to find it, this is it. I'm never gonna do it now, i'm never ever gonna be able to do it.

Crossroads sap the living daylights out of me. I've been alternating between my book and sleep nonstop. My head's spinning and my mind in a whirl. I question if i'm over doing things. I just lack the courage to be frank to her, of myself. I made myself scarce in front of her today. I don't want to step on a bomb that triggers off another round. I've enough of arguing or proving my point, cause it doesn't ever go down well with her. Yes she may listen in time to come, but the process of it suddenly seems too daunting for me. Running away seems so lovely, but i can't go on another day of running ahhaha! Cause its not me.

In times like that, i wonder where my faith went. Missing or left it back at lalaland? My prayers are simple. "to everything may it be to Your will, on earth, as it is on heaven." - I'm not settling for anything more or less. Just on it only. I ask of nothing more than of strength, grace and mercy to get through this, that your will becomes more evident. and living. To see this unfolding, i hope it leads to what You've said. Its not that i don't trust You, i don't trust myself.

The weather has been lovely. Thank You =) and in times like that, i couldn't ask for anything but for him to hold me, hold my hands and tell me in my eyes. "you'll get by this, we will". Or his insistent him, of asking me to just hush. and just be quiet and silent. and enjoy the presence of each other. You're missed, and i hope your eyes will be fine. Don't worry, we'll get your eyes fixed!

In times like that, i'm reminded of the goodness of the Lord, He has blessed me abundantly with. <3

To say that I am NOT tired, honestly is lying through my nose. I honestly haven't had a good, decent, rest to recover from my insistent, hardcore, mugging over the past couple of weeks. Well least till my darling, dubby reminded me and asked if I was enjoying myself, chilling out. It was like HELL NO, i've yet chilled out.

After the last paper yesterday, was a frantic scurry down to church to get the song booklets, then hitch a ride back to the East-West line up to Queenstown on Gan-paps car, with a little chitter chatter. Then ride up, bus ride up, with dinner at paya lebar, singpost, then yes to the home. The AG home, it was ok, just really having 3209483 girls coming towards you, hugging you at random, chit chatting, screaming, shouting, doing a gazillion things can get really overwhelming.

But what i realised what i really needed and missed was actually space away from people, into my own corner. With the clutter, i needed time to be quiet, to be myself, sit down just either watching the world go by, or just enjoy the book i've been wanting to spend time with, BIll Johnson's or just time spent with my conversations or quiet time with God. I was really unused to not having that particular day to myself, which is usually before I sleep. Ahaha, was totally strange. So there was the practice i promised with the girls on their anniversary. Hoo.

It felt like hitting my head against the wall, when i missed the count up to the US elections today, when i've been looking forwards to this morning, its Nov 4th over at the US but over here's, Nov 5. I've been looking forwards it since weeks ago, before my exams started, which was one of the motivating factors to help see me through the weeks of preparations. To sit down on the couch and just watch the polls numbers run.

It didn't happen, as I was still at the home :( ahaha, I decided to get home, but yes, as usual, dilly dally, i just decided to just heck it (oh yes), and just get home and watch whatever was left. With the dubby messaging me bout noon time to say "OBAMA WON!" ahahaa, with the number of seats won, i was about walking back, after trying in my failed attempt to head to the nearby hawker centre to grab some rojak home (cause I was craving for turnips in sweet sauce with my yu tiao). Before I rejoiced and screamed yay to him, i actually wanted to head home and catch some bits of the actions first before I actually replied him! HAHAHA. =D

But i think what was all worth the entire wait, was actually watching the victory speech made by the president-elect Barack Obama, i was on the verge of tears. Ahaha, somehow that tad bit of tears of relief and joy and happiness for the guy himself, knowing somehow, everyone's voices being heard, the promises being said and what's to come. Seeing the mass and sheer number of people just coming together, looking at the scene, was just truly a sight to behold, and with the many people shedding those tears too, i just couldn't help either

*grins* I just felt at that moment, WOW. Least there's something for the Americans to cheer about surely, after 8 years, of news of deaths, the 911, the war against terror. Just what is it there to rejoice about? I felt at that very moment, there has been a reason for the people to cheer about, despite the looming and gloomy recession. What was the best note for the Amercians, was really the spirit of humanity, which is to come together, sticking together, uniting together, and standing up and pit yourselves against the odds.

I love things like these, to see people coming together, to fight together for a common cause. Its what I live for. =) Happy to see that these 2 years of efforts of getting people to vote for the Democrats wasn't just a mere case of it on itself, but to remind many people that above all, it was for all Americans, to come together, as one, and have their voices heard, rally together and RAH-RAH together lah! It was a lovely sight really to see people shouting together in one voice "OBAMA - OBAMA" to the "YES WE CAN" sheer highness i tell you.

Obama brought to me recollections of the way he spoke, in comparable to the late Martin Luther King, the same kind of power and authority they command whenever they speak. The kind of charisma that oozes out, with every word spoken, every reaction from the crowd either comes in intense stares and focus on the speaker himself to unison replies or screams back.

It isn't whether Obama was black or white, democrat or republican. It was just his power and ability of being able to bring people together, to least know that they're not alone in their struggles, and everyone's trying their best to get out of the mess. But above all, i believe in one thing he had that was the cutting edge over Mc Cain. His walk with God, his faith in his God and his faith in prayers! Aahaha, if there's ever an interview with Mr Obama, one should ask "do you ever soak your events in prayers?".

To everything God wills, may his works be done on earth, as it is in heaven. There couldn't be anything better, i'm ever thinking if Mr Obama ever went evangelical and spoke to crowds, he's gonna bring the message of higher hope to many, just how many people are gonna be saved! Just thinking bout it at times, does blow my mind, everytime he speaks, turn up the volumes of your speakers and note the lips on the people in the crowd. They go "AMEN!" ahahaa, which is actually exactly what i did and said today too.

I hope he continues seeking his advice and counsel apart from the many advisers and people, above all, seek God =D Like what Mr Obama always go "God Bless You and God Bless America". What a great sign off. PRAISE THE LORD heh heh for the victory!

I do have this picture taken from my mobile through the tele, of this picture. It just captivated me, the people and the man himself, speaking. WOW. To see this finally unfolding to many, sheer elation. Its sitting on my mobile wallpaper <3 style="font-style: italic;">revival for America. Its gonna come sweeping at you.

Hitting the sacks now, in all ever thanksgiving mode,

I've been real tired since Friday, or since the exams have started, that in the midst of toiling and being faithful in doing the things you have to do, i had a little good nap and a slower and quieter Sunday than normal, I thank God for the ride on Shaun little vehicle, taking a little ride, just looking at the ECP as he drives along with Chass on it, its just really relaxing.

And as the day dwindled down, i realised that at times the things people do, without thinking much gets really, really annoying. Times i wish i needn't have to see it, be through it to see how you deal with matters. Its not something new, so its not a new feeling.

"只知道. 我永远不会比得上. 不打算比. 但你做的一切. 我真的看够了. 多次, 我只想离开这地方. 带着我的包包, 一个人海过天空, 无忧无虑. 那样也就够了. 不管我做甚么, 就是得不到你的同意或满意.一辈子为别人而活的日子, 我也该受够了. 长大, 学会独立. 学会活着, 不是因为你, 而是我的神. 为别人的期待或期望活着, 不是活着, 而是忘了你自己该走的路, 或生存的原因.

我并不是大家所想像中, 眼里的千金小姐. 表面上像就好. 至少骗得了你们所想像的"我". 真真的我, 不是很多人看得到, 了解得到. 平凡人, 简单人, 看得出就好. 骗得了你就好了.

我会往一天, 将我离开的比较久一点. 也许你会了解我地比较好一点. 我真的需求, 还有, 我的空缺. 我一声的呼唤, 你是听不到的. 只因为, 你只是往你所愿, 所希望的方面上想. 真正的千金小姐不是我. 是你."

anyways, yes. that's my feelings. all written out. and i'm lately in love with Cantonese worship songs ahaha. and i happened to chance upon this joshua band, a chinese worship band! nice nice. time to eat. i guess! and mug after i've let out my self expressions here. I know the Big One hears me. Always had, and i'm thankful for the one above. As for you, you'll never understand what it is.

十字架上-約書亞【榮美的救主】

高高立起的十字架
父將我罪掛上
從此以後只需仰望
罪就得著釋放
I am Clean I am Clean

你是我靈魂的救恩
從今直到永遠
拒絕惡者控告謊言
宣告我今公義
我相信 我相信 I'm Clean

＊
我不會忘 十字架上
你永恆的愛 天天帶領我
脫離羞恥與綑綁
我不會忘 你無條件的愛
使我充滿盼望
憐憫降下 恩典永流在全地上


耶穌 感謝你
賜我新的生命