Actually the 9pm show on Channel 8 on weekdays night is pretty good. with the good on screen chemisty between Thomas Ong [who never grows old] and Ivy [can't remember her surname]. its on family affairs, or rather, in court drama over families fighting it out over divorce matters.

I've always been intrigued by the going ons in courtrooms since i was young. i like the dress style. i like the intensity of the debating, each making your stand and trying to prove how strong it is with the appearance of something very condemning or either something poised for victory. everything seems like a dream workplace for me. Its like "what i want to be when i grow up", plus i was a really arguementative person when i was younger. i like standing on the exact opposite side to "defend" myself. nicer terms would be called "defence" in a oh-not-so-nice term, it shall be called "excuses".

growing up, i remember loving watching Dylan Macdermott on teevee. My childhood heroes [together with Pierce Brosnan, Harrison Ford, George Clooneythey're my oh so handsome heroes] Watching The Practice on tuesday nights was my favourite. 11pm i think. arhhar. watch it with my mommy. with the sexy ladies, ahrhar. i had that ambition to work along with all these cool handsome Dylan. arhahar. in his law firm. sipping coffee in the morning, driving around in those black cars, in the really cool office. arhahar. bickering in court. muarhar.

the novelty kind of wear off as i watched more, to come and think of it, lawyers is a called the "high-end" lying profession. i derived this name as i grew up, they'll always be 2 sides to defend and to take to court with. one side will definitely seem like the sure-win case, [in the society's standard of what it is called "normal' point of view], while the other would be the "even-though sure lose, but try all you can" kind of case. i always love watching how the tables are turned when the seemingly sure win side turns out to be the losing side. if you have a strong point, even when the evidences all seems so condemning, muarhar. you appeal for a lighter sentence. all in a point, where law seems to uphold justice. sometimes seems like a lie arhahar. *shrugs. there's nothing called whereby two will have to share the blame at times. i mean yes, unless you're a total victim or something, but its ironic how this world can be. the supposed culprit was also a victim. at the end of a day, arhahar. it all seems like a matter of perspective all over again.

i grew tired of growing up to be a lawyer. when i weigh it out and decided that hello? there's no fun in Singapore being a lawyer cause there aren't any high crime kind of cases. [i like criminal law. sounds so aspiring. cause the stakes are high] lol. but thought being a lawyer in the family court isn't that bad. after all, divorce rates are high and it'll be cool i think.

5 years ago it was The Practice. Today, arhahr. its Family Affairs. I happened to watch today's episode whereby once again. it just sent a message out all over. something i believed in. arhahar i was standing for the side of the mom's custody of the child. yes, a child would make do well in a comfortable environment, having all his/her needs provided, having nothing to worry about right till the day the child gets by and graduates from a university. but the process of getting that whole pieces of paper of qualification seems empty. there's no love no acknowledgement, no praise, no attention. humans are a bunch of interesting creatures.

i'm one person who looks through the entire process than the final end picture that is painted beautifully. things seems to be the way they are but many a times, they are not what you think it is. i guess yeap, its the environment i was brought up in that taught me so many life's lessons. where you look at things and wonder if you were in the shoes of that very person, would you have done the same thing or left. till today i'm still debating of being more respectful to this very person at home. mean that person should deserve that respect, but i'm not giving it. i think i would have been labelled unfillial or unforgiving in many cases. but i obviously don't wanna get on further with it. just went i thought of making the move, i held back all over again. like i'm caught in a fix moving in a circle all over again. hatred isn't there anymore, but it holds a rather be quiet kind of stand.

i think i'm having that wish of starting my own life really soon. like moving out, get your own flat, get your own job. get your own car. fix a life. get it stable. get my mom to move in with me arhahahar. ssh* arhahar. i mean this roof over my head is totally fine but arhhaar. to move away from a car that i see everyday and i just wonder what that car means parked in the garage of this present house. i honestly don't want to know. but a big fat BUT lies there. arhaha. its one step at a time. get this diploma over and done with. then another step before arhahar. working on this dream. sounds fun to start on that dream all so soon eh? arhhar. this family thing. *aish. its a solemn ah joy on a tueday night. heading off for a shower. with S.H.E's - zi zun hua. not sure if i got it right there. is it zun or tun? but ok its a remake of Westlife's Soledad. i lurve that sad tune over there. muarhhar. brings back memories. =)