>>How to smile

to get a perfect smile. practice this. i promise you, you'll get a ear to ear, near perfect smile. in no time. he taught me to. =X

*faints. in any case, as you can see i'm trying really hard to keep my mind off some matters. but i thank God for giving me and my mom a great time out today at orchard. just walking around, sharing opinions. i was quite suprised over some comments she made but made my point that the him was a past thing. arhahar. yes, i used to sing high praises of him but arhhar. it wasn't going anywhere anyways. so might as well let it go. arhhar. so she went "find another one lor". arhhar. right if it was ever so easy. place the man of my dreams like the one above or the other one on my desktop? i wouldn't mind but in any pure sense, its impossible arhharr.

like at times how much i go about wondering, why do i hold on so tightly to that set of beliefs? arhhar i guess its just the way i am. it makes up who i am, when faith and some opinions and some perceptions of your own very own, sincerly joyce all come into play. hoo. i end up sitting alone and wondering like a cycle that never stops. somethings i can't compromise on. never will.

i could just sit in front of the teevee and watch Jamie Oliver all day long. get inspired on designing your own very house with all the morning shows, i sit in front of the couch in the morning to watch and wow at every single thing that can amaze me. i wonder. but its a field that gets my mind thinking. the sight of lines, colours and placement, focus. amazes me still. and i'm wondering when am i ever gonna be doing what i have an interest in. so lost in a way once this poly thing ends i tell you. when mom is already telling me "aiyo. so scared of cold how to go and study in australia?' and i'll run away with this going "can do it locally do it here lor" that's one part of the story, it doesn't matter really where is it gonna be as much as i prefer it here. i wanna spent the best times of my life with the people around me. but i doubt and i really don't know. arhhaar. boutful of doubts but i think the main question is "joyce. what do you really want to do!" call me a flicker. *sigh i always hate this point of time when you are asked on doing what you really want and this time it has to be the one because. its gonna be your rice bowl. make it or break it. so full of questions of doubts it can go.