*waves* and its been a long time since i last blogged. soOo many things has happened. seriously. and haven't been in da mood to sit down and just let my thoughts flow cause I was simply. tired. Yeap. Tired in sooo many ways.

Cebu Mission trip is drawing closer. faster den i expected and preparations are almost there i suppose. My first one. soOo yeah. be coOL. supposedly heading to somewhere where I've not been and its not on a holiday-ing purpose. but all fer the almighty God. He's proven himself again and again. I dun believe I'll be packing my bag soon and flying myself off to Cebu.

Cause of Lassie's disallocation of her leg. Her operation costed quite a bit. I blamed no one fer the entire accident. It was kind of what u call a fluke accident. And my love fer Golden Retrievers will not subside. I still lurve Echo before and after everything happened. dat cute doggie. Cause i just went to visit Echo yesterdae. He was all soOo cute alright. Up on his 2 paws wagging its tail. I just love patting retrivers. they're big and yeah. he put his paw on my belly right outside his gate. I stood. I just felt this doggie was sorrie ya noe. hee. he's cute. patted his head to tell him. My doggie's ok. Seems like he understood me. I dun wan Echo to worry toOo much ya noe. And yeah. THANK GOD Lassie was ok man. Cause when da accident happened. One thing replayed in my head as I related my experience to Lilik [my maid]. We never do tok as much as me and Indri [my previous maid] but harhar. I can't help it.

I just seem to just click to maids. She shared her side of her "findings" bout my family [which wasn't suprising. arharhar. i already knew wad she was gonna say. and like hearin a "repeated telecast". cause Indri has all told me everything. My respect fer maids still stands today. cause I've learnt a lot from Indri. She taught me soOo much soOo. I can never be ever more grateful to her. Humility was honestly taught from there. my faith grew from her. I mellowed my temper and learnt to seek advices and listen before i tok. and I shared my life living under this roof and as to Lassie. I told her. "saya sekarang mampus san". [i'm "dead"] Den related my story of da Lost Lassie. and da entire experience just got relived in my head. how ur entire family just in their spite of anger. sadness and loss. pointed their fingers at me. dat da entire accident was my fault. i dun point da finger at my aunt. but hey. fairness someone. I trusted her toOo wor. oh well. its over. arharhar. i remmebered da only person who stood by me. Was my maid wor. Indri stood there. Shared bout faith. Seek strength in da Lord and you'll find comfort there. wif her hugs. awWw. I miss her. i noe when she was around. in times of wad i am feeling now. I'll run down. knock on her room door and she'll open it. no matter how late. i'll just sleep wif her cuddle up wif her. during those times everyone in da house was against me.

And to Jessica and to Joyce Ho. No worries dearies. I'm just really thankful fer ur parents dat dae fer willing to fetch da doggie to da hospital. honestly. if u wanna know y no one else in my family will do it. da only person who currently drives in da house now is dad. mom dun drive. neither do i. but my sis does. but she's teaching and yeah. she's wif Jarrett and duh. if u ever wondered y dad didn't fetch da doggie. He never fetches me to skool from young and till he upgraded to da "S class" of da mercs. nothing has changed a single fact dat from young till now. i can still count da times i sat in his car. not more den wad ur 10 fingers can count as to how many times i sat in his car. harhar. there's a really sad fact bout da cars that dad has. ask Mr Bus Driver. [i usually sit this 2 uncles bus to skool last time] even them. always wonder. how come i dun get to hitch a ride from dad to skool. harhar. they noe how far i walk from my house to da bus stop. and den waking up early and all. they noe! harhar. to put it simply. they wondered 2 and cared. sweet lar these ppl.

looking back at how Uncle Choy Hoi and family [Joyce's Ho's family] helped. and esp. to Uncle Choy Hoi who was soOo sweet to give me a ride to da Harborfront MRT station. that act just touched me totally. den i just thought about my dad. harhar. forget it. its worlds apart. Uncle Choy Hoi's my fren's dad. hoo hoo. willing to give me a ride. i felt soOo honoured. =)

[i dun wanna sound like i'm bashing my dad] but i really am thankful fer God putting all these lovely ppl into my life. I'm thankful den i dun moan and sulk and cry bout da happenings and facts that stare at me at my face. Dat I still ever remain joyful and miss positive as much as i can. I just wanna say. I just thank God fer bringing me where I am today. There ain't Him. there ain't da Joyce that u see today. Honestly. I won't be where I am. I won't be that good girl as to wad ppl has been calling me. To all of u who's got lovely dads. hey hey. treasure them alright. [I still wonder wad's it like to have a sweet dad] Fer me. harhar. I got an awesome mom. My Father. arharhar. who looked after me from day 1. is da one up there. Fer all i noe. Disciplines and loves me. God rocks. hee.

I dunnoe why am i babbling all these here. but i thought i just want to share how much God has just done fer me these weeks. It has been trying on a part. cause of Lassie. I noe i chose da hard way of doing things. but i dun wan hate. or dislike to happen between anyone. Echo's master had been soOo sweet. wanted to compensate and Jessie 2. But I turned them all down. [i dun wanna sound like a saint] but i hope Mom understands. Its not about money but its about forgiveness. I promised to pay da entire fees when i get to work again. since God has been gracious enough to heal Lassie real fast! Bottomline. If it was anyone's fault. its no one but yeah. should be mine. It was quite an earful i received from mom but its ok. Vent her anger on me is a-ok. not on anyone else will be great. but i guess she's chilled. but da entire incident just became a deja-vu reminder of wad happened before.

I am thankful fer the fund raising. and the graciousness of da ppl in church. U just wowed me to see how much u all give. to da great team who's heading out to cebu. I think we'll have a great time together getting to noe each other. and chill man any hard feelings. harhar. [i see it risin between da 2 guys.] =X amen to God. fer providing everything and most importantly. making my mom first say "yes." to da trip. [she never let me go anywhere. outside SG. unless its wif her?] and second. fer being all soOo sweet to pay fer da trip. I paid half I guess. she paid da rest. I was just soOo darn worried she'll just not pay fer the rest after Lassie's incident. but she was coOL. Harhar. course if I've worked more i wouldn't have asked her but time wasn't on my side. amen amen amen. hahar.

For drawing closer to God once again after all what He did. and a constant reminder to myself once again. to focus on the eternal stuff rather as to the earthly stuff. caught up wif my own time dat i say. "oops God. sleepy today. tml QT?' harhar. and da tml goes on and on. it never gets done. harhar. till soOo manie things happened whereby u just gotta start talking to God all over. harhar. He's coOL. never say. "ShOo. Go away". Listens and listens and He'll use his actions to work. and let u see "U'll be ok". Now dat's y I said his my "aboji".. = father lar. ^^ To lean and to read his word more often. Been following da book of Luke and yeah. Its awesome as to wad God does. hahar.

Bunch of thank u to everyone who has made da trip possible. I hope to go in faith. to grow in faith. spread the message and to see how God will work in others lives as he has done in mine. and to be an instrument fer God. =) [har. feel soOo much better after all da rantling]. i think its one of da deeper insight of me. i dun blog these except writing it in da big yellow book i got. harhra. but oh wells. =) Its not dat bad either. and God is good (=^^,) Luv u all and will miss u.