You know. I just found another wonderful thing. Harhar. Blessed wif a good view of the sky from my bedroom balcony. dat small. puny little backdoor to what I called. a place where I just feel soOo vast. soOo free. soOo destressing.

After watching todae's "our stance on how to breakup". Pretty sad episode. harhar. i felt it. lots of feelings. and well. hahar. as usual i just wanted time to just sit down and enjoy the breeze. the sky. its a wonderful creation of God. day or night sky they both got their beauty. if we were to just lift our heads up. no matter where we are. what we are doing. the sky will be there. never leaving you. just enjoy the beauty of it.

I wanted to just head out for a walk. but oh well. that wasn't feasible. i wanted to sit somewhere high. and just feel lifted. [doing that. sitting on the edge of the walls will just make it seem i'm committing suicide] harhar. which i definitely will not be. i just took the mattress and just laid for a moment. enjoying the view of the sky. see the clouds blow me by. it just clears my mind with the quietness of the night. dat soOo rocks. with the soundtrack of the drama playing. whoa.

The sky somehow haven't lost its tinch of beauty cause whenever i am down. its to that swing which i head to. just somewhere away from the crowd. somewhere peaceful and quiet. somewhere where there's a big clear view of the sky. it makes me feel sane again. helps me keep my thoughts altogether.

Haven't had much time to myself lately. not till this week. as i took time to myself. which i soOo very much adore. before another week comes by and hecticness sets in. clear my mind. set myself right and head for another round of work.

I guess the coursework grades were good for da moment. am contented wif what i got. harhar. though there's still mafit's and dbis and ebm grades left. but sooo far i think its good. wif a suprising A fer my lait. took me by total suprise. as much as i felt i did myself well. the joy was short lived i'll say. judging from some competitive brush off. honestly was like telling myself. "darn. u want the grade soOo much take it lar." i knew he scored the highest. but yeah. wad da ya want me to do. i never thought of beating u. har. i just wanted to do my part. times. i honestly dun understand ppl. if it makes him feel better just take the A from me lar. I'll willingly swap for your B+ which i will be contented with. i utterly could see. how disappointed he was. darn. i'm sorrie man. he wanted the grade real much.

argh. that kind of kept me mum for some time. little rage brewing in me. cause i never understood some ppl at times. but well. just forget it all lar. before i turn into another sour. fellow at home. soOo i guess it brought me up to looking at the skies again. =) somehow. some feeling of me being watched from the one above. of being heard fills me whenever i spent time just looking at the skies and have my train of thoughts. that reminds me of saying my prayers and thanking God fer always being there. for his grace and mercy flows in abundance. am thankful for what he have done every single day. that whether it's a matter of lesson for me. that i learn to humble myself before the Lord. the sheer importance of humility. as i try to learn from my everyday life. all that i hope for now. i'll get by the coming papers. and hopefully. see the wonders of God. i really wanna head to Myanmar. but somehow. as much as there's approval from mummy. how am i gonna convince her. of the payment part. it kind of dampens my entire enthuastism. some part of me tells me i wanna go and experience the and spread the wonders of the Lord. but another part tells me. i don't think i'll be able to go. Goodness. just as it seemed to me. I was confirmed on that trip. i'm filled with doubts again. honestly. seems. I'll never be able to go this year round. har. and the cycle continues. get so tired. at times i give up trying. *sigh*

guess. i'll just take one thing at a time. clear what i am supposed to do. my papers and den think of that money part. hahar. i wonder and say it out to u guys. u reallie think i'm that well off? harhar. come on. think again *winks* living wif one big roof over ur head ain't = i'm hell of one rich kid. fact is i ain't. hahar. but hu ever understands? contridicting isn't it? =p