Tell me He isn't real, I'll beg to differ. I just happen to take a glance to the right of my screen to see what's the verse of the day, don't really do it daily, but as and whenever I blog, I took a glance. I love it when He reveals, a word is all I need. I was in a horrendous state this morning and I got a mail from Paris which is love really, thank you my dear Chass. I was relunctant to head to work, screw it, screw life, screw everything, I wanted my bed.

Didn't happen, I know that isn't it, but it felt real, or least the emotions felt like it gave me a warrant to do what I wanted. Screw it, headed off to the shower. Still felt dead, how am I going to get through the day. Dead.

Came out from the shower guess who greeted me, Lassie appeared magically in front of me. I didn't bring her up last night but she sat there, with her puppy face, smiling away, wagging her tail to greet you, Good Morning. Yes, of course I said good morning to her and ruffled her all over, and asked her "you figured eh?".

Ok I was feeling all sorts, the real struggle I figured wasn't about leaving anot, but the hardest struggle was to let my secret love/desire go. It was like I was supposed to let it go, so as to fit him. But I don't mind not going and I don't blame him, not angry at him, but I'll still keep my love, deep inside, whether or not ultimately I'll go, now or never, I'll still love it and I'll keep it.

So I plugged Misty into my ears and let it go, nothing happened, it was just music. Somewhere, somehow, the word "will" came out.

1st Verse: "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven".

I know there's a significance in the word will and it is often emphasised, ready to do your will, your will be done. Tons of lines and I figured, that there are no impossibilities, the only possibility was your will, that will will the impossible to happen.

I realised how important that key is, the key to alot of things is your will. Legacies are left behind by a will, heaven's will be done, if you will, will yourself to take faith and stand in that position and draw what you see with the eyes of your faith, that faith gives birth to a whole new realm of impossibilities because it is what you thought was not possible. Impossibilities are merely what the logical mind cannot conceive based on circumstances.

Willing allows the environment for obedience to take place and the notion of surrender comes almost naturally, that leaves everything what a man cannot do naturally but what He can do naturally and I guess, it is the exponential for the boundless impossibilities to happen.

I'm willing for anything to happen and it doesn't matter whether or not I leave, but not leaving doesn't change the fact of what's in me, for what I love and my ultimate love. I know for there's a will, there's always a way. A way I don't know exactly how it is, I know it will be.

Don't look at what I do, cause at times, they don't make sense or they wouldn't make much sense. Look into my heart and there it is. Nothing's changed. First love you shall always be and no matter what circumstances is, I still love You.

There is more to life than a stability of a job, home, family, friends, safety, love or money. The seeming stability won't work for me, and I'm seeking where would that more be, that would be able to work for me and satisfy.

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me". - Pslams 51:12