*waves waves* =) [i realise that as time goes by, the amounts of harhar i have and smileys apparently seems to be decreasing] arharhar. but oh well. i'm back. hmmm. been trying to sit down here and blog but haven't been in the mood to just sit down quietly. and write. what am i feeling.

well, i'm fine well, least is that i'm better now as compared to what i was during the beginning of the week. [i never expected things to head on to a completely new direction once i ended work]. probably i'm moving on because my minds partially fixed on what is going to happen next. April's coming up and its attachment soon. well, it is a tad worrying on a fact that vacancies have dipped and erm. arhahar. it will be nicer to be working and the least earn something home but erm. i doubt that is the case and there's a case of uncertainty there for me. kind of regretting on the fact that WHAT IF [its not a nice word!]. arhahar. i put in more effort in the resume or the least, took the trouble to select the attachment that said. "with interview". but oh well. its for not taking a look at the smaller details. i didn't consider much about like "erm. how's the company going to hire someone without looking at the person".

it is ironic in a way because on the many interviews you have went on your own, and you fail at your own this time. arhahar. because you jolly well know the procedures but kind of blew things away? it's funny. sometimes maybe i'm the joke. arhhaar. oh well. you just keep waiting for time to unveal to tell you the "good news". arhhar. [quote and unquotes can be pretty sarcastic!] arhahar. lol.

anyways, thank yous to internet mommy. ashley. rae. janz. jayson. emily and to all of you lend me your hand and ears. your comments your concern. heh. feels loved definitely. moving on. ahahar. in progress. tomorrow will be a better day.

hmm. i've been trying these couple of nights to try to get the pictures i took from my mobile up but ahrahar. just been reading and spending time on the forums once again and heading to bed. but today's little incident made me and reminded me. to tell me. "hey joyce, have a little more faith will you?" it struck me.

I was heading to church and yes. i'm down for projectionist which means = you have to be in church at 825am." you have to be early because.. you have to label the pages of the songs. so you don't cause a mess up. arhhar. i was outside my house at 750am. it supposedly takes 35-40 mins usually that is if one do not rush. i was nearly on the verge to just hail and take the cab as a confirmation to be punctual. arhahar. but my pockets pretty dry over the week of activities. arhahar. i wanted to keep expenditure low. i allowed my heart to race faster. it was nearly 800am the clock went. i walk away from the bus stop to prepare to hail the cab but there ain't any. i was put into this decision when 3 buses to harborfront were coming in front of me. but no sight of a cab. guess what i did?

i walked back to the bus stop and take the bus up. coming 810am. harborfront mrt. 820 little india mrt. but it was all timely. because i alighted the bus and walked down to the train station and the train left afew minutes later. 825am. covenant presbyterian church. said my hellos. rushed to the laptop. the pen was already in my pocket. doodle doodle the numbers. 835-840am. service started. its a little incident but it just told me. "joyce have more faith". the moment when it seems like its impossible to reach in 25 minutes to church, you're going to be late. makes it tempting to rush a cab down but it just told me. "yes joyce, you said you set your mind on taking the bus + the train today". time passes. "why have you changed your mind".. though in my heart i went. "oh please please. not late today please. come on. please please please". it just reminded me. there's nothing God can't do for you what He can do for you in a day. if only you believe.

i apologised to Him for the lack of faith. arhahar. but amen for allowing me to keep my expenditure for the week low arhhaar. and for showing me i'm still watching after you. cried once again attending the 2nd worship session, purely singing. "how great is our God". how the congregation and everyone lift up their voices. you literally heard the church sing. i heard myself singing too. you can't deny the presence of the God and the holy spirit in each one of you stirring your hearts.

i hope i get my patience and calmness back. its not really on a high these couple of days. because i get really irritated if i'm asked to repeat myself. arhhar. oh well. but I read the book of Hebrews today whilst waiting for my younger cousin, caroline and my aunt and mummy to return from their lunch feast. it is an encouraging book that's all i can say. keeps me wanting to read more ever since today's speakers just said Heb 9. i started reading the whole chapter to the after chapters. not as boring as.. arhhar. deuteronomy. =p

alrighty. i think i shall head in earlier arhahar. don't ask me why. but i have this love for my bed recently. just feel like sleeping more. resting more. but i'll shall have to get up earlier to prepare my birthday gift for jojo omma. arhahar. =) i've got this idea in me but ahrhar. still skeptical whether i should do it. but oh well. =) and thank you to Khim + Wai Yin for yesterday. for the JDG fans went on a typhoon premeire at Marina Square. i went along with Khim getting the tickets. but didn't tell me the price to pay her back cause she said "you still sutdent lar. its ok" arhahar. makes me laugh because its just the way that people like her and around me goes, its ok lar. arhahar. how much i used to mind last time, ahrahar. learns to say okok. *shrugs. there'll be a time i'll repay them all? heh. all i say tonight before.. thank youuss =) God bless ya all..

[i'm starting to feeel my blog getting more spiritual] arhhaar. ps. emily, he ain't chinese arhahahar. sorry bout that one. arhahar. in my blog being more spiritual. arhaar. its just a deeper reflection i suppose. =p

Luv Ah Joy,
its 1am. time to sleep.