Hey loads.. I'm just really full of stained guilt.. As I said, like a piece of white cloth, stained.. Covered in blood? To u out there.. I'm reallie sorrie and I know nothing or wadever I'm gonna say ain't gonna change wadever u are feeling now.. But I'm truly sorrie.. I've tried too hard I suppose.. And I never made it.. I was doubtful from the start.. knowing myself soOo darn well, i'm not totally accepting the person of who he is.. And why am I still making and telling myself I do. Yeah, soOo wad if u did? U're not being truthful to him and urself.. Argh.. Joycee.. Wake up and get real.. Would u mind and stop bothering minding pple's business soOo often become a kaypoh lar.. After my shower.. I thought about the whole thing.. It hurts both and why in the world am I still doing it? Argh.. Nuts me.. But its gotta be done now, if it goes on, ain't gonna do things rite..

The main thing was just.. In terms of being a couple.. The basic thing is to accept the person of hu dat person is and goodness, never try to change it to ur terms of wad u think one should be.. In my sense, I think I didn't totally accept the person fer who he was, always hoping he changed this and dat? Its freakingly darn demanding and without u realising it, and the other person does all the changes fer the sake of u I think.. If I did accepted the person fer hu he is, he didn't have to do and go thru all the changes.. Glad I realised my own wrongdoings.. Arh.. Stained.. Guilt.. Why do dat? Wish I never did nid to make someone's life more miserable.. More pain.. Bottomline, I just suck in matters of the heart.. Too knotty and plus.. Face it Joycee.. U're too young to ever understand wad in the world is dat..

U did really well.. Really its got nothing to do bout u.. its just my own sucky attitude which never seem to be treating u rite.. I;m sorrie and i'm really sorrie.. Arh.. Never mind.. Da junkie hu inflicts pain onto ppl.. Yeah.. The bad egg.. Can't be bothered too much alreadi man.. Understood or misunderstood... Really.. Its time to get real Joyceee.. Stop daydreaming toOo much.. harhar.. Get urself up.. I hope God realli blesses me and of course him during this period of time.. Stand up once more.. Strength. Get in tuned wif him more..

Leave da junkie alone.. Yeah, probably I do live in a world of my own.. Out there, whahrar.. Coming to this planet like an alien.. Harhar.. SoOo the junkie shall just be left there and there, going as and where the wind blows.. SoOo being a visitor on this planet, u come and u go.. Yeah.. When u're time is up.. Yeah.. Whoosh.. Gone.. Times u feel u got everything.. To make u happy and contented.. Ur family and friends wif u.. A roof over ur head, foodie, bed, entertainment.. Everything u could wish fer and u're the happiest person on earth.. Feeling the joys of being brought into this world to experience enjoyment.. At a turn of tide.. When things get not too smooth, u simply wish u could reverse time and wish God didn't make u or brought u into this world.. Funny us humans.. Times feeling like this, just be comforted u enjoyed both the joy and the pain in the world, there's a purpose set aside fer each and every one of u.. Whether its the tough and happy times, I just tell myself He is wif me.. And in happy times, u better thank him fer everything.. Sad times, rememer, He's always available 24-7.. Share and pour out to him.. He'll pull u through.. Dat's da most comforting note when the whole world seemingly seems to fall on me.. I've got this solid rock which I can lean and stand on.. Let those chains and burdens go, lift them up to him.. Yeah.. Best part is.. he carries them fer u.. Nice..

Well well.. I'm getting nuts.. Harhar.. Heading soOo far off.. But arh.. Guess dat's all dat I'm feeling now..