I feel thankful to be alive, well and healthy and most importantly puke-less and spinned-head less. I'm thankful to be able to be alive and talking to the people who I love, just hearing their hi-s, i'm happy, glad and thankful enough.

Yesterday was a horrid food poisoning incident (my second with West Coast's Mac's Double Cheeseburger) that had me having a horrendous head spinning and puking feeling that left me very sick last night. I struggled to rest and was awoken thanks to my head and it was worse than the first time I had it, so bad I wanted to reach for a knife to wrist myself or knock my head against the wall cause of the bleeding and the adrenaline rush that will least bring that breath of relief. I don't know how many times I cried out for Jesus's name and I needed so badly a Father who could hold me down or least hold my hand and tell me it will all go away. Pain meter was the best at 8/10 i think last night (yes to pain threshold perhaps going up) lol, but I ended up calling the boyfriend, Darius who prayed and immediately after an amen, I reached for the bin to puke it but the head still spunned. I'm just glad to have awoken up today and is very much still alive and kicking.

I've never struggled so hard with pain before that I am even having the morbid thoughts of wristing myself/banging my head on the wall just to bleed so it can provide that momentary relief. Nothing was bringing me relief in my hour of struggle, I knew it would end at 430am but getting to pass by the time was another mad struggle. In the midst holding on to resist the urge on my bed while I went to grab the guitar in my delirious mode and tried to sing Jesus song, I couldn't even get the guitar to sound right and much less sing. Next alternative, grab the ipod, to get it on and place the speakers on and try to worship my way to bed.

I got tired gradually and cold, so i tugged in and drifted off to sleep. So happy to have awoken up feeling less spinn-ed head but I realised what I just went through in the early morning, I thought of you alot and yes, I do see how often after God stands at position one that I call out, the next person I'll always think of, is you. For the past 2 incidents, and how important you are to me and the amount of influence you have on me :) Any cases, praise God for the Boy who saved me by praying for me that helped alot. Thanks my knight :D It was good to hear his voice and when he prayed, the fervor lol and yes after he closed and said amen, i reached for the bin and puked it all out. So I was left to just deal with the crazy head.

It's all over and i'm still smiling at The Legends of The Guardian, thinking of Sorum and his little sister which are the cutest things that makes me smile and remind me daily, fight a good fight! Listening to my beloved Jacky Cheung, sings like a daddy :D heh heh. I'm like feeling all aww all over.