i have to leave these thoughts somewhere. my brains and hands are tired so maybe it takes less effort to actually hold a pen and write to concentrate on holding the pen and writing on a straight line and just reach for the keyboard and just type. it is a luxury with a personal computer to do what you want, when you want and at the comfort of my lavender room.

i'm sneezing and wheezing like nuts since 10pm. and its coming back to haunt me. but whatevers. life still goes on, the notes will still have to be read and the readings have to be continued to be read and i will have to continue to study.

i just wanna say that many a times, maybe we see this thing to be something we really like. and we really want it. so alright, we work really hard and try all our means to get that thing that we really like (in this scenario literally it was a bag). i wanted this particular model of bag. course there's a reason behind it, i believe in having that bag suit me, and not the other way round. means i will require my wardrobe, and ensure i have the clothes to suit that bag, so i'll feel safe having and owning and carrying a bag that will meet my everyday casuals.

i voiced out my likes to my darling mom. since God knows when, and the people around me might have heard me nagging. i really love that agnes b voyage bag and it has to be that classic series. ahaha. i fell in love with it at first sight since i was in hong kong. and still love it till i returned and still love it =) apparently somehow, despite showing the pictures to my mom, she got a different model of the bag.

she told me first. honestly in all my days, i yearned for it for some 5 months. well not that i was certain i'll be having one. (who in the world's gonna provide me with the money?) ahahah. and most of the time i was considering on my own to get it lah, (like why bother people, go get it yourself) ahaha. mom volunteered to get it for me somehow so i really was like feeling like some elated 5 year old kid approaching my birthday, mom's gonna get it for me. GET THAT THING FOR ME ahaha.

felt my heart broke when she said she bought another model. (it still does now, but not as much, i'm living with it). cause 1. apparently she said she changed it once so no more changing of bags. 2. she utterly dissed the model that i soo loved. she's paying for it. 3. just take it. well not that i don't like the model she eventually got, but its a wee bit too over for me, being wee bit formal and it needs me to adjust to the baggie. (it works the other way round not this way. and I HATE IT. ahahaa) Fashions always that way hey, the clothes suit me not the other please. and this is my way and attitude and style, hard to conceive but it took me 30 mins to quieten down after my mom broke the news to me. i was silent. sad. thinking.

course she did offer "you like the other one so much get it lo. i use this one" and i felt she don't really like agnus b. (mean why would she ahahaa its not her range and style, she's more up market k thanks. when she have so many other BETTER alternatives in her closet). i said "no there's no need". and there you go this marketing student who's been reading her notes trying to basically explain product differentiation to my mom. like how the product differed and why i chose Agnus B. LOL. cause it's me kekee. but i think after going one whole round she prolly doesn't get much. but anyways i just wanted her to know and get it off my chest.

"i upgrade you mah" she went. yeah k thanks, i was asking myself "yeah with the extra monies paid, why am i still sulking" ahahaa. i just have to get past the factor of. "hi joyce, your beloved Agnus B is sitting there. and i can't use it." 1. my outfit is just to lah sup to go with that baggie. 2. i'm seriously not used to a slightly formalised bag. 3. maybe you could just wait till i work full time (Like WHATTTT? NOWWW!!) ahahaa.

in all i just got over it. and live with it. (though i may still be learning). i just wanna say maybe at times things may ain't to be what you want, to go to what exactly you want. and an alternative might be shown to you to see things and accept things from another way, it could be a better way in a sense if nothing much is lost.

i mean if i were to look at it in a better sense (definitely not self consolation), i got the big idea of getting that Agnus B bag (if i profess to love the brand) ahahaa. then it shouldn't be a problem anymore. ahaha. (think long term -> formal attire -> SO IDEAL FOR WORK -> Smile.) yeah i try to think of it that way maybe it really isn't that bad. ahaha. get over it joyce! i think i did its just a damn bag. aaha.

so it all depends which side you wanna look from it. if it pleases my mom. ok! it pleases myself (hi. i'm an Agnus B bag). so everyone's happy. and i should be. so its still thank you mummy. ahahha! and thank God for the provision and the so whatevers that took place in the shop it was embarrassing ahaha.