I was just checking when was the last time since I last blogged, and yes, it has been a long time. There are times where I should blog but I often end up journaling, as long as there is an outlet to release and pen down my thoughts that I can refer to, I'm fine.

And whoa, I often wonder how these random surfers chance upon this blog haha. But in any cases, hope you had fun around:)

Tons of happenings since December and as 2010 came to a close and interesting to see how my journey of bumping my way around has taught me and I have learnt alot. It has been a great eye opener and a time to challenge head on, every single doubt, myths, common beliefs, thoughts, emotions and convictions. It has been humbling but it is a time of what it feels like, as I chatted with Ganpaps, that I had this picture of myself. I saw myself like David, who was this humble, average, typical, shepherd boy, tending after his sheeps, nothing peculiar, easily overlooked but there, God had greater plans for him.

I guess we all have various training ground, and here I am. Whipping my catapult daily, and shooting random stones at the wool of sheeps, bleating around. Sounds ridiculous but eh, it is how I feel at times when I head in to work (just when i thought that is just a matter between me and God), someone has seen the face and does know how I feel. (craps, I can't hide under the radar of his eh? haha) But it was a good chat that as I talked (talking with him always makes me ponder more) and realize and how he often causes me to confront my thoughts or verbalize them.

In any cases, while talking I realized it is a time of figuring when it is time to head out from the place of rest, to "Go" and when it is time to head back high into the mountains and be there and pray or spend time communing with Him and how to do both and finding a balance and space for both to be lived out.

You can't do one without the other, and the need to live both out is important, otherwise we'll just be going based on needs/wants and merely going through activities and motions. That is to answer the portion of "Go"-ing and forgetting on the aspect of heading back up to the mountains.

Praying gives purpose and direction that I suppose steers the rudders of your ship as convictions are built and lived out from those periods of times that you cry out to Him. Directions and wisdom comes as you wait upon Him too :) So it is quite strange and odd that we do not spend that amount of time in the quiet places where the need is such a to-die-for.

It is never easy developing a heart for prayers but it comes, as you desire after it and hunger and thirst for it, it only becomes what should be and only natural. Never straight forward or easy but it is the fun of journeying through to realize what cannot be done by human's will but a thing of only what He can do. I guess the hunger is just brewing, and yeap, I can just imagine myself breaking forth till I can't take it anymore, intercessing more than never before, I'm left to be down on my knees weeping for the very people and things that stirs me and that He has convicted me with.

Scary and uhm, not quite me for now, but it'll be good since I always wonder what is it like spending hours and hours just praying and crying out loud. Reading and looking at pictures of people being so convicted about things, that they prostrate themselves on the floor and just weep about what is upon their hearts, always makes me go fwah about it. It is one matter to just know about it but but experiencing and doing it, are such complete matters and worlds apart, but the greatest joy, is always having the opportunity to experience and know what is on His mind and heart:)

Watch what your random thoughts say, so much so for "break my heart for what breaks yours" and think that no one hears, I'm pretty sure He does and He probably laughs at our very random remark that we shake it off and go "yeah right" and He goes "oh yes, you are right" and how things goes from there.

Enjoying every moment I can have a time out in my room just being quiet, at times reading, at times just listening to such love songs sung out - Misty Edwards - I am Yours, that moment is just soo sweet. Every single time I hear the very sound of the keys running in the song, I go "I wanna play and sing like that too", songs filled with such love and desire for the ultimate lover:)


Though I sleep, my heart is awake
Though It's night, on You I wait

(repeat)

It's been a long night, and I am weary
It's been a long time, and I am hungry
So I'll wait in the stillness again
I'll wait in the quiet again
For when I heard Your voice
When You said my name
When I heard Your voice
My heart it yearned

Beautiful and beautiful it is, I loop it over and over. Haha. And when I was googling on my thoughts on David.

"David was the eighth and youngest son of Jesse, from Bethlehem. He was a strong, healthy lad, apparently with an uncommon characteristic among his people of the time - red hair. He was a Shepherd from an early age, and developed his courage and fighting skills by defending the flocks from the wild animals, including lions and bears, that preyed upon them. The free time that being a shepherd provided also allowed him to develop two other skills, that of music and poetry. David was a warrior, and a writer of psalms."

Perhaps explains why I always love to have red hair? Jokes aside, but I love what was written on the free time aspect, it is what I love to do and am doing:D

Yes to rest now, hope flu bug leaves me, bye!