I just realized how stubborn I was, unimaginable but rather capable of it once I set my mind on it to finish certain things that I do, I'll do it or have no rest. To only realize the consequences of it till I finish watching it, I start to think if it was worthwhile and pushing my body I sure do know how to do it, thinking you're still young and invincible. I laugh at myself as I felt Him saying "see how stubborn you are, really not giving up till you really collapse?" and that is the truth of me. Really not thinking much about things that I just want to have the best of everything which simply results in me eating into my sleeping time and Him reminding me of my limitations of my finite mortal body and it's capabilities of failing you if you don't look after it, and Him telling me "your body is a holy temple", I nodded and apologized as I went off to bed.

The saving grace is that I am not feverish so I am not too terribly grouchy but I realize the magnitude and that we will have to make choices and establishing certain disciplines if we desire to eanestly seek Him, if we are to truly desire after Him, then we will have to will ourselves to choose to give up certain pursuits so we're focused and not all over the place or spreading ourselves way too thin and to realize the importance of resting in His presence.

I realize how selfish humans are capable of - how often we desire intimacy but not willing to desire the portion of relationship. We all love shortcuts, we're all after the feel good but not desiring the things that might not be all about the feelings. Love to begin with, wasn't about feelings but of a commitment to each other, to spend time and enjoy each other, to be truthful and to share and be willing to learn and to accept each other. There, head knowledge but I often tend to wonder, how many strive to live it out in their earthly relationships and have a different perspective on God.

So when I'm capable in being so driven to catch Athena, if I could do the same drive in the things I should be doing, it would have just been great but have taken steps in sticking up the strips of magnetic papers up to jot my physical mind and note to myself of what I should be adopting more of - prayers.

I'll be good! Haha I promised, I'm sick of being sick to be reminded of what I should be doing:)