its been a long time since i last blogged. arhahar. really long time. just felt toOo tired to blog. being immersed in work. arhaar. sucks the life out of me. cause even on the 14th this month, when Mr Jang came down to Singapore, arharhar. I didn't even came down here to blog. all i can say, december has passed me by like a passing wind. arhahar. before i know it, december is already coming to an end. from the time he came, or afew weeks before he came, it was all packed up. arhahar. with projects. after coming back from cebu, or should i say from the preparations of the cebu trip till skool reopened and till now. time has seriously passed me by.

Some habits has already been a change. arhahar. for one thing. i'm not hanging out on the forum boards as i used to. somehow work has been the factor. after Dong Gun oppa came, it was revision week already and then the term tests and then it ended. and now here i am having my one week of term break. i bet its just gonna get more packed. and my resolutions arharhar. after the term break comes is to wake myself up. big time.

actually nothing much in particular just will be worried about fridays, darn bout fridays when skool opens cause someone is bearing a grudge against me. pretty helpless about it. it was then i realised dat ahrahrar. seriously i've been having good teachers who were really nice. arharhar. now i appreciated them. [since mr kok yeow. my database info. sys. cher] arhahar. he's one teacher that i respect tons. hee. he's like a "daddie" to everyone. arhahar. very anything. but you really appreciated him towards the end of the semester. but anyways. its one of my resolutions. i'm soOo not gonna let her pick on me anymore. argh. *bites*

i'm like still trying to play catch up with time and arhahar. i know i haven't been blogging much cause i think last time when i last blogged. i wasn't able to hit the keys as fast as i do now. arhhar. times has changed. tad of me still remains and tad of me has changed. arhhar. all i know i feel a sense of change in me since da trip. arhahar. could be the focus has kind of changed significantly. arharhar. learnt alot of things. see alot of things. realised alot of things.

The desires in the wants and needs in life suddenly arhahar. seem not that important but some hopes to do more one day has come upon me. arhrahar. hope to be back in cebu if i can. then the question will pop in my head. [oei. singapore kids dun wanna help ar. only help overseas kids?] arharhar. maybe dream of going to east timor. or somewhere indonesia. arharhar. go feel what is it like to be there and being immersed in their lives. their culture. and speak more indon! arharhar. fun.

Things i wanted becomes a aiya. have then ok. dun have forget it. arharhar. but for all i noe. in everything i have. are blessings from the one up there. To not forget to give thanks to God for the blessings he have blessed me with. and most importantly as i reflect on the year that has passed me by, is to thank God for the strength that He has instilled in me. as much as anything is nearer. God is much nearer if u just want to reach out ur hands and voice to him. His continual touch in my life makes Him soOo real. i cannot deny Him, in His works, that He is in my life. i stray, i walk. but never too far from Him. That drawing power He has. I still stand amazed at Him. For one great thing i learnt, was to finally understand what it was to really break down with prayers for that one person you have in mind. feel the atmosphere which touches you. You're being heard was the comforting thing.

so many things i want to say. but arharhar. fatigueness when the time of the day has come. i feel like just heading to bed and sleep. arharhar. somehow this has been the feeling when there's no agenda to do, is to snuggle in my bed and just sleep. but i still must say this. arhahar. as i reflect. on top of the spiritual side of me. what about the personal side. the human side of me. arhahar.

basically no time to think much as to what that has been occupied on my mind lets say months and months before. arharhar. it suddenly became not soOo important. though the only person or should i say memories remain in me. ahahar. he has become a mere memory. when you finally learnt the meaning of. "letting go" arhahar. yes. it was one of the best things that has happened cause in order for new things to come, old things have to go lar. but arhahar. i opened up my eyes. aharhar. How jerks-y some guys can be. i thought i lost hope in them. arharhar. i thought only girls went for guys riches. arharhar. i was soOo soOo wrong. arhahar. but you noe wad's the best part. i ain't that rich either. arhhar. puaharhar. there's more than meets the eye. thankful it was an end before things got much worse. arharhar. for a moment. I THOUGHT there appeared. Phew. arhrhar. chill. arharhar. no rush rush!

Just then i thought that was it. I'll just wait for him. arhahar. apparently that "he" did appear. but argh. arhahar. fate has it that we met. our paths crossed but that was as far as that. arharhar. i always had that facsination of him whenever he talks. i like standing from afar and watch him work. that serious look. arhahrar. the knowledge and the things that he taught me with. arhahar. cannot forget. [folding properly clothes + pants] arhahar. i still have those skills with me. and i continually to fold shirts the way i did. i'll still smile. hmm. arhahrar. whenever the shirt sits folded nicely. he's coOL cause of his manners. as wad Dong Gun oppa says. "the beauty of a man lies in his manners". arhrahar. yeah yeah. think of everything. yes. it is his beauty. [and erm. its Dong Gun + Min Jong oppa's beauty on top of their killer looks + smiles] but yes. there stands the charisma that when a guy has their manners or what nots. somethings are there and there. you just can't miss. you just can't hide!

Anyways, enough bout the HIMs. arhhar. i see tons of guys. where some ppl might be thinking i must be obssessed. arharhar. just thankful for the moments and times we had working together. arhahar. and *erm hmm* meal times. Whoot. i thought that was quite a cruel joke for a moment that fate has played on me. but take it in your stride. hey. it ain't that bad. arharh. =) least u got impressed and fascinated by someone. arhahar. =p

as for now. arhahar. not much time left for me to allow my mind to wander. but with occassional dreams arharhar. spent on the 2 favourites. arhahar. nephew. God. mom. here and there. skool has taken up my entire mind. arhhar. half of this sem can be really tiring. but hey. arhhar. its during this time when we built on stronger friendships and bonds. one solid beloved i found. arhahar. was ashley. arharhar. i just think how similar at times the "experiences" we can share. and to really believe that "every family has their own stories". as we shared and bunked on each other to get thru trying killing semesters. arhahar. bring on your work experiences with your group mates. add both of our grp experiences. arharhar. from pleasant working ppl to "leechers" arhahar. funny. poly life hasn't been that happening eh. arhahar. *winks** its been a hell of a ride. arharhar. it happens only once! =p its been nevertheless another great year that i've been blessed with.

i feel old. arhahar. as i see the big 20 coming. arhhra. eeEee. i noe i'm gonna be 19 but arhhar. 21 is coming. and life is gonna pass you by at the wink of the eye. that's one of the pre-belief i have in my head. arharhar. looking at past experiences like seein how fast Mr Jang + Kim has groown. erm. its really fast. if you look at their young videos to their current ones. it all really seems yesterday. which kind of makes it scary. boys to men. arharhar. yes. and when everyone in their coming 30s tell you it is fast. you can't help not imaging its not that fast. the fact comes staring that every year that past you by brings u one step closer to. arhahrar. the dreadful working world. you know how contridicting that is. arhahar. when you study you feel working life is better. [but deep inside you just believe that studying life is better] and when they give you the working life. you think that studying life is better. arhhar. i take studying life can? arhahar. but how long can you go on studying. arhahar.

you can't stop time from passing you by. but you can somehow stop some of it by keeping the little joy and laughter in myself. makes you sane in at times what i call this crazy world. and keeps you one happy dude as the years goes by. arhahar. i pray that i'll continue to contain that joy in me. arhahar. it seems real cause somehow arharhar. I seem to harhar less! as i get older. erm. yes. i do harhar. but yes. it is lesser arhahar. its alarming but arhahrar. i believe whatever you set your heart in doing so, my name joyce shall be joy. aharhar. eh. its another year =) cheerios ppl. *fighting** i am soOo gonna find God tonite. soOo many things to tell Him. arhahar.

-[signing off from a somewhat satisfied ah joy- arhahr. (=^^,)v - maybe my appetite will come back? arhahar. weirdly. i dun feel like eating these past few days. arhhar. eating purely cause its meal time. arharhar. weird. ] -