I just received the news, the text. Wasn't at all surprising but I find myself asking, not why, but what am I going to do about it. I don't think I can do anything that would change the outcome since it isn't a question about me at all but about her.

I could offer my prayers, lend a listening ear, talk to you, be with you but that is pretty much it. I find myself questioning the scaredness of marriage. I know it is sacred, but to see it living it out in real life is an entirely different matter. Of course, everyone would love that it lasts forever but in my case, I see many of it falling apart, torn, broken, in shambles or in a state where married is just a term because the process of getting a divorce takes too much effort, procedures and costs, we stick to the status quo of "married".

I don't know or have all the answers as to why things/tradegies or things that we hope for, doesn't turn out the way we would like it to be but once again, it draws me to a point that everything, falls under the notion of change. Everything can change and my only saving grace comes from the fact that You never change and never fail.

I can only hold on to the one constant hope, that keeps me going, where all else is sinking sand and watch towers and fixtures, one after another, through the passage of time, wear and tear and eventually sink into a world of oblivion, like it never existed before.

I stand in this moment where I see history repeating one after another, three times in all within my family, when it comes to the word and topic of marriage, it somehow doesn't end up quite the rosy picture we all would love to hope for. I stand in this place to decide, if I should treat this entire marriage thing as a sham, another process that never works out fine that just appears to be a process of wooing you deeper and then setting you up for that "fatal blow" of failure.

I could choose to do that to logicalise the happenings that I see happening around me and deem that as a natural happening, since it is on a rise around the world, my situation merely becomes another number, a statistic to prove a fact.

I could do a million of things to self sabotage myself but then again, I've got nothing to lose and hope helps me push on to keep moving on to see what's in front of me, in time to come. To also mean that hope is all I have left and the only thing I have in me to keep me going, that helps keeps me sane and faithful.

It is my life's call, dream and purpose that all I would love to be known for, is to be a faithful lover of His, since the famous line that goes and we all would love to hear at the end of the race is to be rewarded with "good and faithful servant". Of course, more could be added to the line, but in simplified terms, it is just to be known as faithful.

Faithful because You've always been and not because I have, but because of You being who You are. I still love and trust, but my heart cries out to the many of the fatherless that is so prevalent and ponder upon the existence of Fathers and where have they all gone.

Sure there are the lovely fathers that I know and see and continue to be that awesome daddy that your dear children calls you :) You're doing an awesome job and for those who have fallen, there still is a chance and all is not lost. There are second chances and "second lives" if that is to say to be that awesome daddy, sure we all do make mistakes but do something about it, sincerity moves and speaks a thousand words as long as it is from the heart.

Let's walk through this again and Your presence will be greatly appreciated and loved :)

Rise and rise again till lambs become lions.

Loving You.