I'm getting emo-ed \\ i'm own-ed \\

oh wells. been feeling moody this friday morning which is very. and i repeat. very unlike myself. just thinking about last night arhhaar. took out the guitar from the bag. all ready to play. bursting with energy arhhar. went to the slumps ahhaa. couldn't get it to sound right. it was there but not quite the sound ahhar. or maybe i'm too used to the ovation arhhar. lol. but didn't play anything much on the guitar anyways. no mood ahrhaar. mind's clouded with that idiot again and makes me an idiot for thinking of him. fool. arhhar.

thoughts raced through my head [though there was a cutie on the train.]
// a white ipod [man. how come this cute guy also has a pod. the other cute guy on the train has a nano!]
// purple shirt. wayy too short pants. white socks with grey stripped pants >.< but i think that's ok cause he probably got his pants locally and there isn't the length of his height! and black shoes.
// simple but cool hairdo. the all day armani ahrahar. but his blond. clean cut arhahar. he was twirling his hair and bobbing his head to the beat of his pod i guess. cute!! ahhra. so tall. *argh. i feel short.

oh wells. enough bout that cute guy. mind was thinking of something else. arhhar. angry on a part over what happened all over again, i didn't mean too. but yes i thought about it and it just made me arhhara. fume. an immediate rush of heading down to the nearest basketball court. and shoot hoops. whack that blackboard. and chop that ball into the net. that sound when you net that ball into the net whoot. fit that ball into the basket. vent your anger there. arhahar.

all the way till i reached the workplace. guess who i saw. arhhar. in a blue comfort taxi. wearing a pink outift. with long hair. coming in at that specific time arhhaar. who else? winnie lor. arhhaar. somehow upon seeing her. arhahar. the anger just merely dissipated into the thin air. ahrhaar. all's smiles and sunny and arhhar. chatting about it somehow ok lar. ahrhaar. feel much better already =) thanks to ppl like her. brings smiles to my face though she's sad. ahahar. but she made my day. ahrahar. =) its ppl around you that touches you unknowingly with their actions. *bobbles my head up and down.

from (.___.) ---> (=^ . ^)v ---> (^ ^ , )

all smiley and happy and in tuned back to my friday mood. its the end of the week!! ahahar. come on. get charged up for sunday. arhahar. be in God's place. *aja aja hwai-ting!* ahrhar. fighting =D

anyway. attachment's coming to an end and i was thinking what to do and on the bus to harborfront i was just thinking arhhar. bout what Qi Hui was sharing the last last week's cell. she was working in this tuition centre and teaching korean kids english and indo kids ahrhaar. (and clares + lydia + joyce's eyes looked at me. KOREAN) arhhaar.

so obvious meh. arhahar. i know i like korean stuff but aiyo arhhaar. so paiseh ahahar. but it was interesting how after lessons with the korean kids she turns into a babysitter. heh. i wanna go teach english to indonesian kids can? arhahr. that way i can also brush my indon up again. =) since it was a "gift" given to me from Indri wouldn't it be awesome to teach english to these indon kids arhaar =) oh well. dat's wad i think of. that's if a tuition centre wanna hire me ahhaar =) and kids. awWw man. fun fun fun. i'm so full of ideas and dreams. omo. arhhar =) happy weekend ya all =) weekends dun just come by like that. you work 5-6 days a week ya know! enjoy, take care and bless ya all.

low. in anguish. go away
Its just what I've been feeling today. totally. totally larthegic. tired. out of mind. just going whereby the clock takes me. its not the best of things to do. but i'm just feeling the slums altogether. silly in a way for feeling the way i did. i thought of writing this thoughts down but what the heck. i'm really really. too tired to lift a pen up and spend the extra effort in ensuring the words are legible.
tired in a way. cause just feel stupid in a way arhhar. that the nose had to start its nonsense all over again this early early morning. i kind of lost my sanity in a way. i mean i really thought it was all over when the nose refused to stop its tap for the whole 30 minutes. i was ok meeting God but not really to leave my loved ones. somehow its my mom that was sitting at the back of my head above all. i gave a ring to my beloved, Ashley, who was ever there for me. and everytime i ring it at 2-3am in the morning, it was never a good sign. she knew something was wrong. shared with her. she companied me. right till the nose decided to start clotting. and i felt bad for making her lose sleep which she was fine about [but i still felt bad] so she "tucked" me to bed. i went to sleep till the morning.
pretty dazed over what had happened. it happened again for no reasons. no stress no pregnant lady. no nothing. probably made me behave the way i did. i don't know what's happening. I know i don't have control over matters like this but yeap. it just awoken me in a way. arhahar. somehow.
its monday, and its back to attachment. somehow my energy level is at its minimal. it just seems to seep out of me. i've just been feeling exceptionally tired these couple of weeks. i skipped church thinking i should just slp more. [though i woke up in time for 2nd service] i slept and slept ahhar. but doesn't seem to work. i'm still tired. lol.
came in an sms, "so got the notes from your friend already" i went "nope." "k" the reply went. times it sounded so cold. [not that i was trying to expect anything more than that, but is that all you're ever gonna say?] i felt i could do something to help. but at the end right now, i thought it might be wiser to have just said "no i don't know anyone" wouldn't that been better than myself going through the trouble. i sit back and feel, i don't know. i really don't know. why did you call the way you did at that period of time when i was having the roughest patch and made me feel the way i did. and the next moment behave the way you did like the above. times i also ponder what's it about i fell but got over you. i wonder why all that process? I just needed that someone to lean on when I needed that backing when the going went tough. i needed to realise hey i think i like you. and the next moment, I have to get over you cause it was never gonna be workable. you know your stands and i know my stands. just like that. our paths that collided but were never meant to lead to anywhere else except just meeting each other. i suppose was one of our gifts in our own ways. to help us get each other of the rough when we needed that extra push and encouragement to walk alittle further in this distance. but that's about it. don't even think about anything about that. i felt used in a way but on the other hand. its not the right word to use cause it won't be fair.
the other thing that got me feeling the slumps today. i know and i think it'll make me sound like a bitch. but i really feel i don't understand my mom. i know everyone else who knew about that nose bleed bothered to show some concern. and i was really really glad to have Jojo omma around. i felt touched. it was like for one person who heard me was her. she sent her prayers arhhar. and chatted awhile which placed a smile on my face. i don't mean to write this to gain your very inch of sympathy. but the person i thought of during that period of time. didn't place a thought of me. probably got me pretty upset. thankfully there was other ppl around. =) ash + KY + jojo omma + ben chan who all somehow lighted me up. Winnie's cute ahhaar. for her giggles. made office day all the more bearable and chattign with Hwee Boon. the day passed and with me on the earphones with SG Wannabe's 3rd Jib. nitey. i'm so worn.

coldplay// twisted logic concert // july 10. 2006//

Yes. I was there and there at that time. and it was fantastic alright. how often do i see ppl lifting up their hands and singing along all standing [as much as i see it during Jesus's concert] arhhar. it wasn't though. totally addicting though getting there was such a chore as u can see with the pictures above with all the taxis. that's all i can bring home for now arhhaar. besides some recorded song to relive those moments. but the best way is still listening to their albums. bought myself a mushroom swiss and munched it on the way whilst walking into the stadium cause the bus was literally full arhha.

was totally exhileratin for me to be able to see Chris Martin and his best buddies around him perform live. old school songs was nevertheless the best, cause everyone knew how to sing along. highlights was when they were singing Yellow and the balloons came bobbling up and down. arhahar. The Scientist was way awesome cause its my fav. and Fix you the finale was simply too good. cause everyone was on their feet singing and waving along.

"and Iights will guide you home
and ig-ni-te your bones
I will try to
Fix you"

stupid dangling lights wasn't working so chris martin couldn't really made the effect he always made. but harhar. i like the part whereby he involved the entire stadium into following him sing the scientist. "whooo ooo oo. kiooo." and all the funny noises along but it sounded damn good. really inspired by this band. Cause Chris Martin plays the piano and the guitar equally well. Johnny Buckland plays both the drums and occassionally on the keyboard Guy Berryman is the lead guitarist. Will Chapman plays both the bass and the guitar. honestly they all play the guitar. arhahar. just watch A Message live in Japan. man, they rock. totally inspired. arhhar =) definitely great to watch my dream come true after watching them in Glastonbury. to be in one was a dream come true all thanks to Ashley and Wee Zhun who made it possible. =) thank you buddies. Robbie Williams next eh =) rock on ppl. i'm totally touched by Coldplay, "take care on your way home, be safe.. thank you for coming support the band. we're really grateful.. We played in 143 gigs and this one over here is one of the best crowd.. " whooow. u just lurvee him. lurve them all!

amen to God ahrhar. for the great weather. [otherwise coming home or heading there all wet?] who made travelling all the more easy, arhhar. and cheap. managed to get home on the bus. and to photoshop the pics out. there's more on the mobile but it is getting late. have to work tml. probably tml. and hang out some time on my guitar. more coldplay songs arhhar.

thank you thank you. just so grateful. for suddenly everything seem to have come to an end. arhahar. all the rally practicing the band was having. was over on saturday. was great. arhhar. thank you to every single person in the band. to rachel+glenda+clarence+alvin+andrew+samantha+mark+joyce+jacob+uncle tony+joel+ryan You all have been really really patient wif a noob like me ahrhaar. to see how i could just play the faster songs and learn to get over that fear of not being good enough. made everything fall into place. learning glory is still one of the best ever. arhhar. i really really. learnt alot. arhhaar. more than anything i could ask for. thank you =) for making it all possible. It made me see the wonders of what God can do really. ^^,

Attachment is along fast coming to an end. =) hold on and pray all will go all well. kudos~! to all of you out there, who held on. continue holding on. finishing line is near =) lurve ya all out there. somehow. arhahar. i just feel blessed today. =) nitey. heading to bed. *with coldplay running on my playlist.