At times i just wish i was an american, only for this period of time. AHAHARHAR. Head down to one of Obama's rally's and see him RAH-RAH the people. Man he's an awesome rah-rah-er. Being able to bring people together, connect with people, and communicate his ideas down to the many usual, me and yous.

I was just okay with him, till joyce ho was reading this book on him. I was curious bout him, with him making the headlines, and yes, she chio-ed me to go watch one of his videos, and yes. I have to admit, i do like the way he speaks. muahahar! and from then on, was history, i <3 obama! =D I wanna see the way he works in the coming months, from a senator to, say the president of the United States? Heh, his book i've got but have yet read. Since last semester's exams to my current semester's exams. Guess i'm going to do it soon, and read it WHAHAH, how enticing. To have uninterrupted time to enjoy a book, have the images playing in my head, some good music around, and just have nothing on my mind and just enjoy the book, is a real luxury in life, i feel as we get older. Uninterrupted time is so hard to find. I hope if what mommy always say is zhun. I was asking the other day "Mommy, do you ever think Barack Obama will win the elections?" She went "Of course lah, then that McCain meh, Obama sure win one" I think i felt like a 5 year old, of my many insistent questioning of "why's and do you think's" I've never grown out of it and my mom still entertains me. AHahahar, big overgrown kid over here. But i'm really looking towards the elections and finalise this entire thing, that lately as I mug, the thing that intrigues me in between my time away from my number crunching session is time reading the newspapers, and reading crosswalk online, which is the time i spent online. Nope, its not the digital life intriguing me, nor the Urban, nor the lifestyle section, BUT the particular 2 pages of news on the american elections, and the count down that shows the numbers counting down to D-day. Apparently, too busy with my past few weeks with work and revision, haven't had time to nail on the juiciest bits that BBC has to offer. Harhar, just some nail bitting stuff but i'm keeping my hands and fingers crossed. A wise man's whose counsel is from the big man above, is gonna make a load of difference. And i think that's what is enticing. I'm quite awed by this fella really, just having 5 minutes to talk to the people, to get them listening, to get the to cheer and feel as united as the states should be. Palin - You're just totally annoying and bimbotic, i can't stand her really! She's like desperate housewives on national tv. AHAHAHA. Ok enough of commercial breaks i need to move my papers!

and i forgot to add, the D day to the elections day is on the 4th of NOV, which coincidentally falls on my last day of papers, OMIGOSH. I hope i'll be able to have time to watch it, i think =)

Whaha. Mugging has been done,and business finance is coming straight at my face. ahaha thanks to Emily, I've went to check the portal ahaha there's hints for the finance paper, so better get them right. I really wanna get by this paper, so here it goes. Thank you God for the hints, ahaha so more work to be done :) Gotta get by this paper grr.

Had a time destressing on the yaggersblog, adding some posts, doing up a picture. hah! bit of tad fun, some music, quiet time on the laptop, ahahah! New age technology, its quite a new feeling, and I'm getting used to daily :)

so its been a funny day today, when i complained and shouted out loud "OMGoodness, its soo hot here, its so hot like shit." Ahahaha, and said it probably upteen times, the next thing i know, the clouds came in and it became cloudier, less sunny. Less hot and stuffy, that i was mugging and when "hey what what happened to the heat". =X I really think the big one up there heard me and i was like "oops, so rude!" ahahaha. "paiseh paiseh." ahahah!

Mummy's been cute and she seems to hear my innate calls for new food, she bought kfc today back for me, savouring it like a child! Ahahaa, and she bought 12X PACKS of kinder bueno packed in that jumbo size packaging. ahaha. I thought it was ALL for me and said how sweet, ahaha she went "sorry is share one" which means its for whoever. AHahah, chey! but whatevers, FINDERS KEEPERS! ahahaha. Like a child really me. Who can ever stand me, getting excited over chocolates. I've been saying i wanted to eat it for so long, so here it is! haahah. i want tao huay zui now. ahahah~!!! ok lah better get back to mugging soon :) and the dubby's been sooo cute and sweet lately. or maybe its just me. ahaha!

I'm happy today, of being able to bless Carol with a box of doughnuts. She's so sweet to call and ask if I was dropping down today at her place, after meeting her on friday, when she came over for dinner, and she stayed over and we watched Walle together. Its her first animation movie but looks like she liked it!

Saturday was a time of being in church for a lot bit of work, i was sooo tired after the entire thing, got a lift home nearby from Shaun who's so sweet, get a bus nap, and had a real sleep home for an hour. Dubby came over, with dinner and we watched walle together, cause he haven't watched it. ahaha, i love looking at his expressions of how engrossed he gets when he watches shows. Very cute! Ahaha, and no lah, I was nice, didn't try to distract him too much cause he was pretty much distracted with his food!

My eyes swelled up lately since friday night briefly, after a mosquito bit the left eyeback area. It swelled but went down. Then the same thing happening to my right eye on saturday after my nap. I lied to my boyfriend that "i got punched". he's like "WHO PUNCHED YOU?" ahaha, so funny. Who would ever punch me! Ahaha couldn't hold it any longer and just said it was a mere mosquito bite. How unexciting, thinking a little drama would be fun. T.T Ahahah, but the right eye swelled up so bad, my eye turned into a single eyelid looking eye, smaller looking eye, and a swollen, red one.

Placed some ice and thank God it was fine after consulting my home nurse, called my mom =) But Sharon still said my eyes still looks a bit swellish, and yes i think it still is a tad. But glad its alright, ahaha, otherwise ppl thinking i'm weeping at home.

Today's sessions with Ed Pousson is one whereby I think i've been asking God "What now?", ever since of what Dad said in his drunken stupor i believe on friday night, when i was chatting with me and mom. I don't think it was funny, but there was this message of him wanting to exit from the business. And calling someone to take over it or something, which i asked i thought is the son? Strange but yeah. He talked real funny, and then again the big word of "M" which i don't really like. called money. Not something i'll love to hear at this time, and not something that is pleasant.

Times when mom believes in wholly concentrating on studies, enjoy. Dad probably believes in the part time work or what have you. I don't know how to please everyone but from the way things hears of what he said, it just felt he just wanted me to work or contribute to this family. But the funny thing is that the beloved son of theirs isn't contributing man. And just thinking of being rushed, when the son was in Australia having pure fun, as he took his studies. Times i don't understand why it has to be me where things gets shortlived. I'm probably even expected now to work and study, when my siblings went through pure studying life. I don't wanna understand and i don't wanna think. Its just at times wayy unfair, and thinking about it doesn't make anything get better.

I had it. And i'm just gonna focus on my papers, get it all done. Graduate. Then see what comes next. And i'm seeking more directions as to how to get this done and I thank Pastor Edwin for the prayers today :) May this be something of what that was initially or rather already planned.

Gonna spend quiet time with God, and throw Him some of my spare pointers i have in mind. I just wanna tell this ONE person. to love yourself. to stop being soo immature and treating yourself out there, and doing all these things to apparently "numb" yourself or release yourself from your apprent problems which you have seem to lock yourself up in this box of self pity and assume you're the only one going through your bout of difficult situtations.

I really feel that I've lost you and things aren't the way they were as much as we were from the way we were small. The only thing that is constant is carol, and i'm thankful and glad for her.

I hate it when people think and box themselves out there thinking they're the only one going through some "adultish" problems. In their high and mighty world, think that they have got everything and know so much more things, that there's alot of things that a pure 100% full time student has no 1 clue about. I may not know, but the plain one difference between you and me is that we seek different cousel. Our pillars of counsel and souces of guidance just differ probbaly as far as the east is from the west.

I can repeat myself over and over again till the day i die and i'll still repeat this one line to many. There's nothing you can do to make God love you more, or love you less. So why are you doing the things you're doing instead of seeking Him. Till now i don't know why people still run from the fact that many a times, you can run and think you never need a God. Think again.

This word comes to me so frequently these days ahaha. I always call myself that during the mugging period. Thank God for Janna mugging with her has always been so productive (I charged my IPOD liao) ahaha and our occassional chats during lunch before we start and after we end!

Chit chatting, and share our random thoughts =) very lovely, ahaha!

ok after watching Kingsley's crew video, i'm quite tempted to start dancing, after ANOTHER dancing topic after I was unwinding today watching Bernice and Steven Ma on Steps. But i'll always remember, I can never seem to remember the steps ahhaa that's the problem, can't put them together in order, which dance requires, good memory, foot work and timing ahaha. and i finally realised what makes dancing soo cool. The coordination of every team member! Makes a dance tight and really cool.

Oh wells, and today me and mummy had teochew ber again! Muay or whatever dialect. Ahaha she couldn't believe how cheap it is. I order like free one LOL. But i really love it!

Aunty Lee Fong (my another darling), called me that this morning! Harhar when i woke up this morning, not doing the work i was supposed to have handed up to my BOSS. So yes, i woke up, started the computer, and started doing the edits to the covers, resize some couple of pictures (they never seem to end) ahahaha. And I've become like the resizing auto-bot. *beeps*

So its all done, just editing one more family pic, then facebook to do something different from yesterday, view at pictures, looking at Miss Kaur + Miss Norlinda, i'm too used to still calling them miss. heh! Mdm Linda already having a kid, bout say couple of years old lah hur! Lovely house, fitted in tatami feel and WHAT. A BIG FAT APPLE IMAC DESKTOP sitting there. SO BIG, you couldn't have missed it. sigh, where's mine? (*hints the dubby) AHAHHAA. Poor guy, all my toys that i love to tends to get bit high end hor ahahah! Just kidding lah.

So with my new name, The Lazy Burger and the updated version of lubby its cuter i think. AHAHAHAH. So much so for starting off this week on the sunday night whereby he interrupted my rest time, ahaha PEK CHEK leh, ahaha. Saying my goodbyes on msn, turning off my laptop, left to turn off the lights to sleep, my phone sings *viva la vida* intro, it totally jolted me up from my sleepy mode. LIKE WHO IS THAT?!!!

Was so tired but i really had fun on sunday night, the teochew ber, (its opposite HSS) ahaha, with the fellowship lunch with say, hernie, daniel, chass, clare, lyd me then dinner with Chass's Family + Vin + Lydia. It felt so cg like, feels so ah. Nostalgic really. =) Melissa is hilarious and i wonder do i have this affinity with Melissa's. They tend to find me amusing, but they're funny themselves too! Hee hee.

By the time i reached home i think i would have collasped. But I think i went online to break the duck of the entire week of barely being online i suppose. Ahaha, to say hi specifically to CHASS! ahahah. She's lovely really.

Chatting with winnie briefly, she always makes me smile with her antics. ahaha and her sweet sweet entries. Ahahaha, how come I hear D call me, i don't go AWW. Jialat! ahaha, must switch mode from that day's incidence of The Rude Awakening back to The Sweet Awakening or something. I'm cliche.

And yes, life for me has been nothing but waking up, having my lunch. Tv, then Mug. Then guitar, then tv. Then computer time then mug again. I could chant it like anythings. Life is boring during study break. and i think next week is gonna be more of a killer, like studying for finance. Good luck to myself. AHahah!

I think the joke of today is me eating this huge apple, I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A PICTURE OF IT. IT IS SOOoooooOOOOOOOOO huge. ahaha, i was already 3/4 full, when i just bit like 1/2 round the outside of the apple! Its huger than that usual fuji apple size. First, getting a bite onto it was such a chore, for its huge size. Then just slowly chomping it as i watched the 7pm Channel U's Korean drama, that 19yr old girl, poor girl. (I used to detest the drama, till maybe my mom convinced me, since we eat dinner in front of this show before she runs up to watch her Father, Sons show) - SEE i said it was good. Then her drive of life. - Again. THERE'S MIU KIU WAI, and Cai Shao Fen!!! Sure good, and the 3 brothers lah hurh. So yes, i skip all of those. Done watching them lah! But end of the day, I FINISHED THAT APPLE. But not without msging dubby (God even his nick starts with a D) T.T

"I wished you were here to help me chomp this huge apple up. i'm tired from munching". hahahar, i must be so wu liao hor? But the memories of him lately is him eating apples leh! That sunday, was me sharing with him the apple i ate in the morning at the bus stop, its so fun just eating whatever I want and just offering him the rest which he usually goes "no lah, you eat lah you eat". And i'll go "you eat lah". and he goes "you eat lah. your breakfast". and i love this favourite line of mine that goes. "well if you don't want, i'll just throw it away, cause i'm full" ahaha. and then u see him chomping away! Muahhaha. Sooo funny.

Ok time to figure out what Sherman Chin has been teaching. I had 3 days of global marketing and my oh my. ITS A LOT OF THINGS TO READ. MY GOODNESS. Ok coming up. *gorge with paper in my mouth* Tatas! and i'll see you Janna tomorrow morning, ahahah! sooo funny, our studying together periods are so seasonal!

ok decent break to everything, there's a time to everything so nope. driving has to go for a 3rd timing and i'm taking it in my stride. failure is the root of success (shi bai shi zheng gong zhi mu). not the way i would have loved to but what else can you do is what my mom tells me.

so its time to hocus pocus and focus on my upcoming 4 papers. Finance is going to be tough but take aim and get armed well. The rest still gotto do the best. But finance really can be a worry man!

anyways its been a hella of a week. alot of self doubts but have gone by, and its time to hit the books. Not totally for it, but what else can I do? Mug joyce. Keeping all those mugging in prayers! Hold on lah!

Janna See, can your blog have a tagboard. Adding a comment is sooo ahaha. *coughs* Long, tedious! Ahha, I can simply imagine your reactions to hearing S.H.E + AH Mei + Sammie together, I think you'll scream until your hou long tong! Its amazing your loves never change, never fades overtime. Very jing pei!

So i've just been done creating another wallpaper by request. Its been a long time =) I should come back and do more, well least till I'm finally done with school. Since my final year of poly, i just haven't had that much of time anymore. Then Uni came, i got no idea what's clocking up my time these days, since i spend much lesser time as i used to, on the forum boards, in front of the tv. I'm still wondering what am i doing, and probably its more time with the guitar, singing, out late nights, chit chatting.

I don't know man, when my boyfriend is a storeman, we don't spend week nights together. I really do ponder what on earth do i spend my week nights on. Aahaha. Its a mystery, but i think its really more time being alone in the room, or being at church. And i wonder is church taking up that my time? Ahahaa, i really wonder! I only remember this sem is yes more of church. Last sem was, projects and tvb i suppose. ahaha FADS. But one thing has remained, i think i spend a lot of time just being in my room, singing with my guitar, that i'm quite sure has been on. AHAHA, ever since corty came into my life. Tv has lost is interest. Reading papers and sleeping? God ahaha i wonder.


Jacky Cheung on the wallie! So cute. aaha i've been loving this picture, i actually already have this picture on the wall.so yes here i am, tomorrow is one more practice before my second take at another try at TP. I shall not let fear take over my head, and still stay calm and focus, on what God has already done a miracle, another one please?! AHahah!

And i've been mugging, hope to have more discipline to pull more through! And thanks to my darling, who's been sweet (though being accused of using the word "Aids" on him, man i don't know what he hears, but it really wasn't) - Forgiven. Ahahaha! Who returned the stupid textbook back to the school's library, i needn't make a special trip down tomorrow before driving =) So i'm really thankful, i was telling God "haiyah, i don't wanna head down to school specially!" So here goes! He is an answer to my prayers ahahah =D

and i forgot to add. House is pretty factual, there's an episode on Grief. and the 5 stages, i chanced across it today. My God, i'm feeling tired again, i've napped. I'll just sleeep!

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book, On Death and Dying, notes five stages of grief:

• Stage One: Denial and Isolation
• Stage Two: Anger
• Stage Three: Bargaining
• Stage Four: Depression
• Stage Five: Acceptance

aunty dot came down from malaysia, she normally stays for a day or two, on a business trip down there. so yes she said i still look the same, nothing changed. Hahaar, so i asked about her kids Neil + Nic, 17 now. Asked her how they're doing, so they're doing their A levels, before completing them and heading to Australia for more studies.

Then there's Aunty Dorina's kids, Jea Tsen and Jeu Ann, already in Australia, she's doing Bio Chem at Melbourne University, big wow lah. These kids really do really well, ahaha, looking at myself, can feel zi bei. But the ultimate zi bei, is the kids are all driving already! At 17, they're driving. My god, and I look at myself, ahahaa. 21, real diu lian. Flunking TP test once and going a second round. ahaha and yet have learnt how to drive.

I start to wonder lately why I've never bothered to learn driving much earlier, since the age was 18. Why i never bothered to learn how to drive when I was doing my Poly year 2? WHY?!! Hahar, I got no idea, but thinking back what I was busy doing, was actually doing part time work, to kill time, to fund new toys and gadgets.

Now that i'm older, have seen and looked at the need to drive (for the many late nights happenings actually), and there, time has passed me by, i'm 21! Still trying to upgrade from the Provisional Driving License to a real one. Ahaha, feeling a little pathetic here.

Time to time, i do question my existence of doing my Degree over here locally, than going to Australia, I really do wonder if it would have been any difference. Taken the alternative route of doing the entire 3-4 year course over there. When I hear of all these, honestly the grass does seem greener over there. I really wonder, but not that i'm regretting my decision. You just ever wondered the consequences of just thinking of the OTHER decision.

man, sucks, ahaha, ah joy being 21. Its not the first time being laughed at for not being able to drive at my age, (by my bro's friend) an aussie friend, its kind of like unbelievable to them, i suppose, due to the efficient transport that Singapore has, an excuse would be there really isn't much need for it.

Now that i'm seeing it, aahaha, i'm 21! Does feel abit pathetic, but i'm just tugging on, and holding on, and seeing this through. Finishing up this last lap of studies at SIM, I keep talking to people, bout what I am doing, how long this is, and what discipline it is. Its the same feeling, of yes, its just another paper, less branded, maybe its called the Giordano brand in comparison to the national unis of the Topman/Topshop - River Island. Then meet the Guccis and Armani of a lovely degree from Australia, say from University of Melbourne.

Can't help feeling a wee bit desponded. when you see high flyers around me. Don't mean to do any comparison, but just looking at the way the state of things currently are.

Had fun at dinner with Andrew, Clare, Jacob, Glenda, Lydia and Chass. our little mini farewell for our dear star, Andrew who's leaving for Aussie for training. May God bless him, keep him safe, so we could have more Ukelele and walahwalah sessions? Its really a nice feeling coming together as a cg, it really brings back good old memories of us together as a cg, thank you =D IT was hell of a chicken stuffing session. ALOT OF FOOD!

And as much of everything, I just wanna thank God for being so faithful and seeing me through these weeks, of massive things, awesome project mates, clearing the datelines and meeting criterias one after another, and lastly, the finance test! Despite my own failings, of failing to study like one main chapter or it, i'm glad I still made it on the dot. Hopefully, this goes on i'm praying for the upcoming exams. and the coming TP on friday, let's just get all these over and done with, please? Quite tired of doing the same things over.

my eyelids are shutting, ahaha the bed calls out to me as I yearn for it. (ok, too much of danielle steele in my younger days) - NO wait, thats only less than 10 of her books ahaha. But i just wanna shut my eyes and just get through on with the fun, and minus out all the work, there's still strategic and sherman's requirements staring. Despite clearing sales.

Its really never ending that all i wanna do is watch retarded shows on tv, like "I survived a japanese game show". I just wanna sleep my butt off if everything permits, but that really is running away. I could really hardly wake up today this morning. Alarm went off at 9, it wasn't till 9.53am I started getting my butt. Telling and lamenting to God how I really don't wanna go to school, see that fella's face. Not keen at all. The main man who chairs the entire lecture.

so last night, heh, i went to take a glimpse at Janggie, and Min Jong oppa. ahaha, i really do have that fettish still for dorky cute guys. ahahah, janggie as usual still as man and min jong is as boyish as ever. (Then the boy went "i shld get a brown pair of glasses", just thinking bout it, i'm curious how he looks on it, though i went "you're gonna look old". wait i look like MEI MEI(young sister) how?) ahahaha.

and i was just hearing this "yoboh" word on the korean drama, 7pm on channel u. ahahaha i was thinking dear and darling are just plain boring ahaha, how bout "yohboh" for him next time ahahha *chuckles. caroline's hair is soo gonna stand!

AHHH. *screams* i don't wanna move my brains i feel like hitting the sacks. damn.

Its been pretty a good mix of fun and work. Having done yesterday's Sharity Food Fest thingy, with alot of art attack on the banners. Which were simple, but the colours were pretty. God, ahaha guess where did the yellow cloth come from? AHAHAH =X So much so for table cloth turned banner eh? Ahaha, and black paper made available from Gan-paps table ahaha. It was really just nice, the paper amounts ahahha. Look at the 2 funny guys at work, that's Jia Wei + Darius. Sticking the alphabets on. (urh, i drew the A-B-C's out, cut 3/15 of the entire letters on the banner) - and yes, I can't do "S" it takes me forever. The rest pretty fast. Its my infamous bubble fonts i did since i was in primary school, and continued to be painted on my aesthetic club's room cupboard. Still exists in some parts of me I guess, and the years of practice =X Ahahaha.


The team did 2 banners! Pretty amazing and the other one was the floor ball cloth ahahhaa. The boys did really well, you'll be suprised that boys can be pretty neat, (after working nearly all the time with girls this is one of my debut times, working with guys who can cut and stick pretty well) But sticking wise, JW wins ahahaha, we were niaoing at Darius "wei stick properly!"Wallah! And so this is the finish product! Alot of tape and paper ahhaa. And then night was chill out at Gan paps place again with the entire family, and there's the 2 boys. aahaha, with dinner and later, some faith talk and urm, Balloon twisting session. I was freaked out. I don't like the popping of balloons! And so i was with Ah Bi hugging at one corner ahaha.

So here i am sharing some bits, after working done on the portion of the sales communication and strategy report. really annoying! So i think i'll slack around and chomp some grapes. and yes some time spent with the boy, its been pretty lovely!

and winnie's really cute and generous with her remarks! =) we'll meet up really soon, i can't wait for friday! *sssh* hee hee!